Hostile co-worker has gotten away with harassment for over three years

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A male co-worker has been hostile and intimidating to me for over three years now. He has pushed me to the wall, yelled at me at my station, and told nother co-worker that it was the way to treat women, that yelling was the only way we listened and understood. When he got physical, I reacted with fear, but still made a report. My boss dismissed my complain after the co-worker denied it. After that time, three years ago in January, my co-worker would make remarks such as "when are going to find a better job?" "why don't you leave?" "why do you work so hard, the boss does not appreciate you." I ignored him, but my fear of being alone with him in the office increased as time went by. One day he came to my desk to pick on a fight, I ignored him again and he got very angry yelling at me, when I told to please leave my station, he replied that he would leave when he wanted to and that he could yell at me and do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. That time I ended up in the ER with a panic attack. The doctor told me that if my boss did not do anything, I could not do anything either, just ignore him and remain calm. After the ER visit, I find myself walking on egg shells. This co-worker comes happy and very nice, and wants to be friends with everyone, but more often he comes very angry and acts rude and yells to his assistant and me even though I am not under his management in any way. The last incident was two days ago, he intimidated me again by yelling and telling me with his finger pointing at me and with vere angry eyes "you shut up." Those images just stay in my mind and I recall them every morning I get to work. I filed a complain with my boss, but he told me "just let it go, he is stressed out, later he will be fine again." I don't really know what to do. I know I must have evidence of harm or will to do harm to me, but all I have is a hostile attitude, intimidation, belittlement and (sarcastic remarks when he is in "a good mood.") I have documented every incident, it is obvious that I must find another job, I have been looking, I just ask if people like him do actually get away with verbal abuse and intimidating behavior? I have read about harassment laws and I learned that if the boss does not exercise proper care to stop the harassment, he and his company are also liable for any harm done. But then again, other than my documentation, I am not sure if I have a case. I am not the only one been intimidated, the hostile co-worker's assistant is harassed in a daliy basis, but he is a man too, he answers to his attacks, but he told me he is getting tired of the way he is treated too. But he has never filed a complain.

-- Luisa Stowe (psworkshop@aol.com), April 17, 2004

Answers

One of the things that made me affraid to do anything about it was that I may not find another job. Would I be seen as a problem person? My boss told me that I was the problem, he almost made me believe that I was imagining the abuse, moreover, he told me that I was the abusive one, even though he witnessed the last incident himself.

What do I say when I go to an interview? I must tell the truth regarding the reason why I had to quit my job, would potential employers understand my position?

-- Luisa Stowe (psworkshop@aol.com), February 06, 2005.


Why don't you file a restaining order against this person or crimnal charges. That will get your company attention! No one should be subject to that kind of abuse. go to E.E.O.C. This person has committed a crime by touching you and harassing you. plus you need to put every thing in writing every time you speak to some one about this very serios problem.

-- Linda Ray (LchrissyR@aol.com), May 18, 2004.

Don't give up. Your boss is liable. I also work with a boss who intimidates, harass and blackball her teachers. She have a pass history of doing this. Everytime she get away it. I am not going to let her get away because I am going to file a lawsuit. Good-luck. You have a good case because you have documented everything. Find you an employment lawyer. You can win your case and make your company pay. This is not fair to you! My boss throw off hints in open staff meetings. She also make remarks like loose lips sink ships, or don't rock the hands that feels you! Those are some powerful remarks. One day she is going to get what she deserves! Good luck and don't let this bully keep on running over you. Email me anytime! I know a little about my rights and you are on the right track! Marie

-- Marie Coney (marieconey@yahoo.com), April 21, 2004.

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