ex forcing sale of my home

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my ex boyfriend and i split up 3yrs ago, he moved out and i have been paying mortgage and supporting our 5yr old son on my own. He now wants to sell my home and split the money. What do i do about this? Do i stop mortgage payments and let them repossess? Or put up for sale and walk away? Or hand in keys and let lender sell home? Or let it go to court to settle it? If i stop payments, isnt he liable for payments too? he also has another mortgage in scotland, but doesnt pay for this one. Any advice would be most welcome

-- lesley ann douglas (lesleyanndunn@hotmail.com), December 31, 2003


Lesley Ann

Clearly you need good legal advice.....and I'm sorry I can't help you with this. However if you have been raising your child without proper support from him financially why don't you suggest he signs a document waiving all rights to the property in exchange for you not raising the Child Support with the CSA!

I wouldn't hand in keys, or stop paying the mortgage until you see a lawyer. My own thoughts are that he wouldn't/shouldn't be entitled to half of any profit after the sale of the house and as it is your child's home I would doubt be could force the sale. But this is just my personal opinion.

Put him to proof and ask him for receipts of any mortgage payments or child support payments he has made since you split!

Don't allow him to intimidate you.

Good luck!


-- Moira (Anderston828@aol.com), January 08, 2004.

Hi Lesley Ann,

Your ex cannot force the sale of your home until your child reaches the age of 18 or ends full-time education. If you can afford to keep paying then please do not stop as you will both be liable.

As you so rightly say he is liable for payments as it is a joint mortgage. I do hope you are claiming all the benefits you can, and that he is supporting via the CSA. If not as advised above do this straight away.

If you have equity in the property I would, if you can, sell the property offer him a settlement - after all you are in no desperate rush to move - and tell him you will give him a percentage, not half, as you have been making all of the repayments.

Make sure you do all of this through a solicitor, get yourself away from him he sounds like he's leaving a trail of destruction behind him!

Best of luck.

-- Chris (chris@anon.co.uk), January 09, 2004.

This isn't an answer but a comment. I am in a very similar situation except there is no child involved, I left the home and she stayed there for another two years and is now renting the property. We eventually agreed to sell the home and then she backed out and said she wanted a higher percentage of the sale than me. I feel different since I was the one who fixed the place up when we were together and put everything onto my credit cards financially. I am considering settling, by allowing her to give me $x to sign the home over to her and walk away. Any legal advice???

-- Ed Deleon (Timberico@aol.com), February 14, 2004.

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