Hello, and thank you for checking this out.

Once upon a time, in the fall of this year, I started my "quest" to find Anarchy and it was beautiful at the time.

I had broken up with my ex who wanted to control my life, and I was already upset about government control. I was free to be paranoid!

Well, that freedom was definetely enjoyable while it lasted. I keep classifying myself differently. I'd probably fall under femanarchosocialist.

Well, I thought I would never see the day that my interest in anarchy would actually stumble upon a way that it could be applied in a thing called . . .

Reality.

We definetely envision a peace and love hakuna-matata lifestyle when we want to "create" this little tribe that would fall under our beloved anarchy. And don't get me wrong: I'd love that to continue . . . BUT

I don't know if my post is still present, but I went into a mad psychosis trying to get someone to listen to this very real and very immediate threat.

Amazing, how it actually rolls off the tongue now.

A very intelligent and breathtaking girl was gang-raped for several days by three men.

That was the result of my trying to help her.

Not that my plans involved going in a car with a guy she barely knew, I still like the advice I gave on my original post (under, I believe, "anarchist guide to raising kids," if it still exists,) which she had read first.

If her or her friends are reading this, I apologize for the coldness. If you actually try to imagine the brutal circumstances: It tends to make you not want to live and cut your arms a lot.

Yes, it was reality. It was an abusive home. It was the so-called "shelter" kicking her out because she was too . . . NICE!

It was a real-life story it is all in the books, maybe you will hear about it some day when she is indeed rich and famous, which I have no doubt she will be if she doesn't kill herself with anorexia. And in so doing, implore me to kill myself. But not without going on a psychotic rampage.

My posts on Crimethinc thereafter were not too happy. But I'm bringing this to all your attention once again because I feel, whether you like it or not, for at least the sake of someone who deserves it, I pound this information into your skulls until your brain bleeds with sobbing.

An amazing young girl gang-raped by three men for many days without food, and given drugs, out of an abusive family that gave no love.

I hope you read over that again if that actually just played through your eyes onto the next paragraph.

It sounds like a little poser story, doesn't it? How fake is that? Isn't that story just too horrifying to be believable? Someone must have made that up, like the poster constantly whining about homosexuality. Where's the credibility? Where's the news bulletin?

Unfortunately the news doesn't cover the things that police did not pay attention to. And what happens in our little immediate worlds seem just too small to fit into the great wonderful world of politics.

But cock your ears out and read again for a second, shut up and listen.

It's true.

Now, if someone had taken this seriously in my post on this forum . . . perhaps anarchy would have gotten a name for itself. Perhaps the news headlines would say: "Runaway teen rescued by anarchists on a forum called 'Lusenet.'"

Well, so much for that story.

I tried to email everyone I knew. Now I cut off from just about anything that meant anything to me because I saw what reality is really about. Think about that when your friends strand you at a rainbow gathering and no one told you what the --other side-- of it involves.

All I can say to you is that we'll all sing the same tune: "Obladi-oblada life goes on."

But some of us remember the things in life that change us inside out. We remember how foolish we were to think that being serious about something wouldn't involve horrifying things that . . . don't have a good ending we're all made to expect. And don't tell me the hollywood movies don't affect our perception of things.

That's what we all see. Super-Anarchist coming to the rescue.

Well, my opinion of men has changed to say the least. I also suggest to all kids: Run away from home.

Run away whether you feel safe or not. Run away and test these mighty shelters that will protect you with lots of options if you dare. Who cares if they become overcrowded. It still shoves that weight on society that will be forced to ask . . . "are the parents really never the criminals? Do their kids really have that great deal of options?"

Test yourself. Do it, shyguys.

I honestly swear you will not learn about reality sitting in front of the computer in your middle-class homes. I sure regret ever thinking that for myself.

I had the joy of speaking to her once more after a desparate attempt to find her on the other side of the continent. But I assume she doesn't want to talk to me much, because really . . . what did me and this "anarchy network" ever do for her?

You can't save one girl from an abusive situation, or atleast prevent a worse one. And you expect to change the world.

It is the reason I have to leave everything behind, and flip out a huge middle finger to those I knew that maybe, just maybe, could have taken that leap of faith to do something in that short sudden period of time. After talking about it for years, it really does seem daffy when you suddenly hear "quick quick, the sky is falling!" Doesn't it?

Well, sometimes it falls. And if you're used to this coffee-joy-time-chat-up-a-storm ideology, you won't notice it coming down. But at least you'll enjoy this devious scheming you so meticulously play.

It's just another online dungeons & dragons if you ask me. No wonder roleplayers are around this board.

Allright, so I'll leave you alone to your end-all-conspiracy plots, and I'm sorry for this absurdly long post. To think such a thing was real. And hey, just a few days. What real difference did that make? How would it have affected your life . . . if . . . you could only empathize and feel it in your head.

It's amazing the wonders it does when you speak to such people in person. That human voice makes the entire world melt away. You really do know it's true, and no actor in the world can fake it under the best hollywood budget. The pain is very real.

So go play.

I can't say that I could do any better either, but maybe just maybe someone whom is closer to the vicinity where the real problems go on can show a little concern where you'd be surprised how few people do.

Ask yourself how little it might have taken to change the life of that prostitute that panhandles by you on your way to work. That girl in the bar that can't seem to speak, and you've never seen her sober.

I've given up on the rat-race of subterfuge. I want to find the true people who want change. So far I don't really see it here. That's not to say I don't find some amazing people who really do have a heart . . . it's just a shame where it's wasted on a meaninglessly addictive computer program.

Have a good day / night / whatever.

Don't expect your home life will change any time soon. And if so, maybe some of us will actually believe your story.

The boy is always crying wolf. That's the problem. But sometimes your instincts will tell you when this wolf is worth checking out.

Bye, until I regain sanity if I do choose to live for it.

-- (Used to be gaiaskeeper) Who exactly is dumb enough to post their full name? (Permacultureguerilla@bikerider.com), June 28, 2003