Onliest reason I feel the need to start a thread about this is because I do not know where else to ask this question.

My usual habit, and first inclination, would be to just email you directly, obviously, but since you have, as far as I can perceive, chosen to not let your true email address be known on this forum, I am askin you to please contact me.

My forum email address has always been available and stayed the same throughout almost 3 years now, so if anyone has anything to communicate with me personally, please email me; you need not warn me ahead of time.

Peace and love,

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), August 23, 2002

Answers

Earthmama , I sent you an e-mail. I don't know if you check your mail or this forum first.....And anyone who wants my e-mail address ,I will send it to them. I just don't like placing it on a public forum because of negative e-mails I've gotten in the past from having my e- mail address publicly displayed and my sometimes strong opinions that have unintentionally offend some .

-- SM Steve (Unreal@home.com), August 24, 2002.

Steve, I don't know you well and we've never corresponded but its my guess you know that when someone gets offended its THEIR choice. They choose to be offended. If you post something thats provocative and say what you gotta say respectfully, (as you do from what I can tell) you've done the best you can.

I've made myself pretty unpopular in certain circles, despite a pretty consistant effort to be respectful, in the past by expressing my own opinions about certain issues that concern me. I appreciate someone who thinks for themselves and expresses their opinions as well as you do so please stick around.

-- john (natlivent@pcpros.net), August 26, 2002.

This place is more addictive than smokin poppy flowers on a breezy summers evening... And no , I don't have any poppies to share , it's just an expression ... I checked this site to wean myself off here slowly. I wasn't gonna post...Now I see I unintentionaly left some questains floating , that I figure only I can answer...No one wronged me here . I left ( trying to leave )because my motives of posting here are in questain to myself... Actually I was becoming more attached to some here than I thought I should be... And a re- valuation of my motives to posting here ( that I feel became self serving ), need reflecting on. Actually I see only goodness in this forum. There's more good heartedness here than a commune full of huggin hippies. And a word to the one who commented on me being wise > Wisdom does not come from people, ..I'm a people... , wisdom is truth, and those who are truthful , the truth will be revealed ( a gift ) to them. I trying to learn truthfulness .I like gifts . We all know that story , if you plant a watermellon seed you get to pick watermellons . And if you plant a truth seed , you get to pick truths ..So since one needs to be truthful to himself before he can be truthful to others and therefor pick the harvest of truth , I'm a searchin my soul , I don't know if that made sense or not but I think I just confused myself even more....And if by some chance of a lucky roll at the dice , I say something wise. I'm just revealing what was revealed to me...It didn't come from me . ..And if I say something dumb or unintelligent ,. Yep, that came from me. I take credit , where credit is due ...And I didn't mean to leave anyone wondering . I wasn't insulted by anyone here , nor did I get any negativity from anyone . Maybe it was to much positive energy here and I need to be grounded for a while.

-- SM Steve (Unreal@home.com), August 27, 2002.

Forgot to clairify , what I felt from another forum, which I sensed was the prelude to my involuntary departure . Has nothing to do with my decisions on this forum .I noticed some thought it did . The moderated of the other forum commented to me : " I don't get why you post here " , and since she knows I post there to express free speach , I sensed the words had an alternative meaning...I referring to my social skills as having alot to be work on, was in relation to this forum .... I see my excessive posting on this forum , as being akin to a person dominating a conversation. As I'm doing now with my explanations of why I think It's time for leaving here.

-- SM Steve (Unreal@home.com), August 27, 2002.

Steve, a personal observation......I understand where you're coming from, as in wanting to step away for awhile, been there too....but the only way I have been able to grow is from discussing views with others. Bouncing off ideas and thoughts is hard to do by oneself. Heck, I'll always agree with myself. :) Some people I disagree with and will never agree, some people have made me think and in the process I hope I've expanded my thoughts. Seeds do not grow by planting alone. It takes much more to make them thrive. Truths.....the same.

-- Annie (mistletoe6@earthlink.net), August 27, 2002.

Steve: I too understand where you're coming from I think. I've taken sabaticals from the forums a few times myself. They CAN be very engaging and time consuming so the following isn't to be taken as suggesting you don't take care of yourself. We gotta do what we gotta do, especially when we feel ourselves being swept away. When we start to feel like we're no longer ourself or are loosing our sometimes tenuous grip of the ideals we strive to become it is time to take a break, to become renewed, for another go at the idealogical debate of ideals and ideas.

Maybe thats why you come here; To discuss AND constructively share what you have to offer. There's little else we can do on these forums. I've been a regular on the Greenspun forums for about 4-5 years and I feel like they've enriched me and I like to think I've given some food for thought too.

In my real life I'm kinda reclusive, not real social and actually sorta shy if truth be told. Some of my cyber buddies know me better than actual folks I've known for years. As far as I'm concerned there's nothing wrong with any of that because all any of us really have to share is ourselves.

So take a break if you must, reconnoiter and return to your center if thats whats appropriate for you, THEN return. I think you'll find that its a learning experience that'll tell you alot about the world as well as yourself.

Namaste john

-- john (natlivent@pcpros.net), August 27, 2002.

Well, I was thinkin' on this whole thing. I asked the goats about it, I'm sorry to inform you, it really wasn't a concern of theirs..they just _are_. ;-) I'll say one thing Steve, you do get me thinking. Admittedly, a bit frustrating in this case, because you bring up some interesting issues, but then in the next breath report you are leaving, or "trying to", "..involuntarily"...I'm not really understanding the "involuntary" part...? But, this does put a slight damper on "discussing". Anyway, I'll throw some thoughts out, they will probably just sit like a stone in the path, but, oh well. I'm used to it! Some of your statements caught my eye....

".....place is more addictive....." "Actually I was becoming more attached to some here than I thought I should be... And a re- valuation of my motives to posting here ( that I feel became self serving ), need reflecting on." "..So since one needs to be truthful to himself before he can be truthful to others and therefor pick the harvest of truth , I'm a searchin my soul..." "...to much positive energy here and I need to be grounded for a while." "....excessive posting on this forum , as being akin to a person dominating a conversation."

I've often thought long and hard about why interacting with certain folks on the net is so addicting, for so many. I wonder, is something _missing_ in peoples' respective lives? I think for many this certainly is the case. I'm not altogether convinced "filling a void" in this way, is entirely "bad". It can be really healthy, or not! A tool, or a crutch/escapeism. Expanding experience to include "cyber friendships", or even just the exchange of individual and unique POV with others that may live in entirely different cultures, environments, have different belief systems, etc., has personally really opened my eyes, and for that, I'm truely grateful! Growth. Lending support, also gratefully accepting a shoulder...I've found that as well. The friendships, are _real_ to me. With the good, I see much bad of course...such is life. But overall, stimulating conversation, exchanging ideas both practical and of a more intellectual/spiritual slant, is really nice and I value it. I guess for me personally, it does mostly come down to friendships. And like I said, I imagine personal lifestyles play a big part. For instance some of us are in rural situations where we don't have the opportunity for much socialization, so it does fill a "need"... or if we are single, or stay at home moms, etc. When is it unhealthy? Only we as individuals can decide that...that's why I suggested a few days off, that's what I have done, and I found it helpful.

Realistically though, this medium does lend itself to "keeping a safe distance". So I think it's interesting you feel you are becoming too attached to "some here" than you "should be". Intimacy is a very important aspect of us humans, definately a biggy....and it can be threatening. It's a bit hard for me to understand however, in this environment, because it really is quite limiting in many ways.

This all speaks to "motivation", as well. Why do you (anyone) post on a forum? What is a 'righteous' reason? Personal growth? Sharing ideas and info to help others? Both? Simply amusement? Are any, or all these things "self serving". You could argue that they are. Even to the point of saying being the best person, searching for personal "truth", is self serving. Isn't it? _You_ desire to be a better person, recieve "gifts" of "truth".....sure it benefits others, but it is circular. Personal perception, ego, comes back to self.

"Too much positive energy" I just don't get that, sorry. I DO totally understand feeling you need to evaluate or ground yourself!

Dominating the conversation?......eh, folks can respond or scroll on by. Simple as that! heh heh.

Like I said, be well! Hope you come to a better understanding. :-)

Oh, hello John. Aren't you the gentlemant who doesn't "get" jokes? No offense, but I think that is unfortunate. Did you hear the one about...oh never mind. I apologize, I'm aware you don't appreciate banal, but I couldn't resist.

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), August 28, 2002.

Patty, you got the wrong John......I believe the fella who made that comment was Jonathan, not ol' John. And Patty, great thoughts....I hear ya.

I hear ya, Steve, and can relate to everything you're saying, but I still disagree! Your presence here is needed and appreciated, and it almost sounds like you don't value yourself much as you should. AS far as forming relationships, how can that be a bad thing? Same as real life I guess, there's always risk involved, getting our feelings hurt, hurting someones else's untintentionally, making an occassional fool of ourselves, caring "too much."

Come on back...wouldn't be the same without ya.

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), August 28, 2002.

Oh, I just realized that, Earthmama!!! I was about to to post, a belly up! Yikes, sorry! John, my sincere apologies."open mouth, insert foot"!

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), August 28, 2002.

Would you like some jam with those toes Patty?

-- ol ' john (natlivent@pcpros.net), August 28, 2002.

.....sure, yum-may! Sorry again, I'm such a big duffass.

I think you are indeed safe from the dreaded "no sense of humour condition." Me? Ummmm, yeah, I'm definately a riot.....:-P

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), August 29, 2002.