Carnation Milk Contest- irreverant adult joke

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Milk Contest Her ancestors had been farmers. Her parents had been farmers. And she had married a farmer. She was plain of feature and built sort of like a Holstein cow. She knew no other life than the farm life she knew. They had cows and horses and sheep and goats and pigs and chickens and ducks and . . . And of course, they also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers market.

Unable to grow salt and coconut and some few exotic items, she went shopping at the local grocery store for the few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves. There she saw some small cans of Carnation condensed milk which had a contest entry form at the display. It being one of her more disgruntled days, she dug in her purse and came up with a stub of a pencil which she used to complete the jingle with some thoughts, which stuck her. Carnation had furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all ...." and the submitter had only to complete the remainder of the jingle on the entry form using 50 words or less. She had scant hope of winning the contest, but felt better once she had completed the entry form with her thoughts on it.

A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a representative from the Carnation Milk Company came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. Then he went on to explain that regrettably the company could not publish it. In lieu of that later fact, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award. He then presented her with a check from the Carnation Milk Company in the amount of $1,000 for her creativity.

Oh yes ... and her entry was:

I like Carnation best of all, No t*ts to pull, no sh*t to haul. No barns to clean, no hay to pitch, Just punch a hole in the son of a b*tch.

-- Kathy Aldridge (beckoningwinds@yahoo.com), July 25, 2002

Answers

A non farmy friend sent this to me recently, said she thought of me!

8-O

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), July 25, 2002.


too funny

-- Stan (sopal@net-pert.com), July 25, 2002.

My mother told me about that back in the 50's and swore that it was one of my uncles that submitted it.

fact, fiction, urban legend? take your pick.

Buy Pet milk in a can best milk in all the land no tits to pull no shit to pitch just punch a hole in the son of a bitch

-- Chuck Neal (chuck4389@earthlink.net), June 13, 2003.


I have a question rather than an answer. When was Carnation Milk first put on the market. It is funny that this came up at this time as several of us were talking about Carnation Milk and how our kids were brought up on it when they were born. Ed C

-- Edward M Campbell (edmorisc@aol.com), June 19, 2003.

Here I stand with pen in hand thinking of Carnation Brand. No t*ts to pull, no tails to switch-just punch a hole in the s.o.b. Pet Milk.

-- farmer joe (farmer@here.now), June 21, 2003.


On September 6, 1899, Carnation condensed milk is manufactured for the first time. The first Carnation milk factory is located in Kent, in King County.

In 1898, the Washington Condensed Milk Company established a condensing plant in Kent, Washington. Within one and one-half years the company went bankrupt. The Pacific Coast Condensed Milk Company, established by Elbridge Amos Stuart (1856-1944), acquired the plant and machinery and on September 6, 1899, produced the first cases of evaporated milk, called Carnation Sterilized Cream. The company would later change its name and become the world famous Carnation Milk Company.

-- G. Young (CPCIC@comcast.net), July 31, 2003.


Milk Contest Her ancestors had been farmers. Her parents had been farmers. And she had married a farmer. She was plain of feature and built sort of like a Holstein cow. She knew no other life than the farm life she knew. They had cows and horses and sheep and goats and pigs and chickens and ducks and . . . And of course, they also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers market. Unable to grow salt and coconut and some few exotic items, she went shopping at the local grocery store for the few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves. There she saw some small cans of Carnation condensed milk which had a contest entry form at the display. It being one of her more disgruntled days, she dug in her purse and came up with a stub of a pencil which she used to complete the jingle with some thoughts, which stuck her. Carnation had furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all ...." and the submitter had only to complete the remainder of the jingle on the entry form using 50 words or less. She had scant hope of winning the contest, but felt better once she had completed the entry form with her thoughts on it.

A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a representative from the Carnation Milk Company came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. Then he went on to explain that regrettably the company could not publish it. In lieu of that later fact, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award. He then presented her with a check from the Carnation Milk Company in the amount of $1,000 for her creativity.

Oh yes ... and her entry was:

I like Carnation best of all, No t*ts to pull, no sh*t to haul. No barns to clean, no hay to pitch, Just punch a hole in the son of a b*tch.

-- mesgena (manta_eritrea@hotmail.com), April 11, 2004.


My Grandfather, the late Dale Jay Wingert of Kent, IL (WWII Veteran & Retired Dairy Farmer) used to say it like this and our family gives him credit for it's inception. He was born in 1921 and passed June 5th, 2004.

Carnation Milk the best in the land, The Best Damned thing they put in a can!!

No tits to pull, no Shit to pitch, Just punch a hole in the Son-Of-A-Bitch...

-- Ty Wingert (tywingert@hotmail.com), June 11, 2004.


A dear friend of ours told us his version while we were playing poker one night.... He said that as a promotion gift, Carnation had made plastic lids to cover the open cans, that still had some milk left in them. He said that printed on top was the saying as follows:

"Carnation Milk , the best in the land. It comes to you, in a red and white can. No tits to pull,no hay to pitch, Just poke a hole in that son of a b____!"

Ithink I remembered it correctly. Walt passed away 4 years ago. God Bless Him.

-- (LBARobes@aol.com), June 29, 2004.


As a follow up to my above comment... Did anyone else hear of the lid promotion with the saying on it? Thanks L.

-- L Anderson (LBARobes@aol.com), June 29, 2004.


My father, Phillip Wm. Mahn, Sr., of De Soto, MO loved the poem and recited it often. My brothers, Phil and Jake were helping document all his favorit saying. His version when like this:

Carnation Milk The best in the land It comes to you in a little red can No tits to pull, no hay to pitch Just punch a hole in the sun of a bitch

In memory of my loving father.

-- Robert F. Mahn (RobMahn@Yahoo.com), December 17, 2004.


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