Rating refridgerator magnets

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Refrigerator Magnets

by Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg

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Poetry Sets

The perennial problem with these is that they don't have enough "plain" words like "an" and "the," so my poetry ends up sounding like Tonto attempting to seduce the Lone Ranger. "Moon shine through window. delicious breeze caress skin. surrender." In retaliation, I disassemble other people's poems and create the most banal sentences possible. My favorite so far: "I will join the hair club for men" B

Picture Frames

It's a cute idea: You can stick pictures of loved ones onto the fridge using a little magnetic frame, combining adhesion and decoration in one chunk of iron-lined plastic. The problem here is that if I care about someone enough to buy a frame for their picture, I also probably care enough to want to put said picture somewhere where it won't get Kool-Aid stains on it within a fortnight. D+

Dress Up Naked Art

Fun, but runs out of variations real fast. Once Michaelangelo's David has been every member of the Village People you're reduced to putting underwear on his head and doing lewd things with the army helmet. And then you're left with nothing. C-

Plastic Magnetic Sushi

This is my favorite. It dispenses with the illusion of entertainment in favor of the illusion of gravity-defying sushi. I'm pretty much in favor of anything shaped like sushi, including but not limited to sushi. I'm also in favor of defying gravity. Fucking gravity! A

Pizza Ads

With the magnetic pizza ad holding up the pizza coupons on the fridge which holds cold pizza next to the pile of pizza boxes, you can get a nice little pizza motif going in your kitchen. Just the sort of thing that Martha Stewart would approve of if she were killed in her sleep and replaced with Robbie and Jase from "PVP." You could probably work the little packets of Parmesan in there somewhere, too. C+

Multicolored Letters

Unlike magnetic poetry, this actually gets more fun as you lose pieces, because then you have to improvise, using "Z" for "N," "W" for "M," and the number "2" for "Z" because you're already using "Z" for "N." They also hold up shopping lists a lot better than, say, a tiny little rectangle saying "regret." B+

-- (roland@hatemail.com), June 05, 2002

Answers

Who knew?

-- (roland@hatemail.com), June 05, 2002.

roland:

I picked up one at Pike Street when I was there a short time ago. It is pink and white with a large plastic bow. It says Unk is queer. It doesn't refer to our moderater, but you can see why I bought it. The only one they had left. Might send it to him some day.

Not from 2 or N but from Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), June 05, 2002.


Dude!

Went to a colleague's house not too long ago and she had nudes of herself in picture frame magnets on her fridge! Kinda freaked me out somewhat.....

Have to admit, she don't look great but she looks better naked.

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), June 05, 2002.


Deano, that's because you were distracted from her face.

-- helen (save@money.on.makeup.and.drop.yer.panties), June 05, 2002.

I've Grown Distracted from her Face

-- (Lerner and Loewe @ My Fair.Lady), June 05, 2002.


Your one-stop refrigerator magnet shop spot since 1973.

-- (Ed McMahon@opportunity.knockin), June 06, 2002.

My oldest daughter decided she hated the damn refrig magnets....so she stuck them together and they endded up on a pile of CD's...her little sister's CDs. I know she did it on purpose because of having to listen to "Barneys barnyard pets" or some such. So now the litle one (not quite so little anymore) steals big sis's CD's.

I always liked the alphabetmagnets near the bottom to keep the younger lids busy while I was cooking. the higher they were on the frig, the more "mature" the messages got, kinda showed me the maturing of the kids.

My favorite is the one with all of the moods and you out a "pictur frame around the mood you are in today. Mine is usually consistantly hysterical, frustrated or overwhelmed....Like anyone bothered to pay attention...

I got the alphabet magnets before my first was born, thinking that put me into the realm of Mommies, like making up the crib over and over in anticipation of becomming the miricle person "MOMMY".

I don't care, I founf the magnets and put them on the new frig a few weeks ago, even though my youngest thinks they are dumb too now. I even have the addy for the vet that closed fown 10 years ago. I have had kids make magnets at school with their pictures that didn't stick too well,(lots of seashells and macaroni and glitter) but I used tape tp make sure they stayed on. The smile on their faces when they looked at them was worth the effort. I guess they don't care about the magnets anymore, think they make it look messy, but the memories for me are worth the clutter they make.



-- Cherri (whatever@who.cares), June 06, 2002.


Did someone say there is one of "the statue of David???? Maybe I need to update a bit.

-- Cherri (whatever@who.cares), June 06, 2002.

Funny helen.....

And correct!!

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), June 07, 2002.


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