Why so Difficult?greenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread
My girlfriend and I recently began the process of anullment. The process is long and hard on the individiaul seeking the help of the Church. Why is that the Church prolongs this process? Why must they ignore the compassion Christ uses in His teachings? Why do they push persons seeking refuge in the Church away? I am a life long Catholic and very devoted to my faith, I have attended Catholic School from first grade through St John's University and even considered the priesthood. The questions I ask are simple yet very confusing, the way we have been treated in this process is hypocrital of the teachings of Christ. I am sorry to say that. Since this process is so complex, I have had made a few phone calls and had to illicit the help of a 'friend' in the Church. Now it seems that our process may ease in it's length and complexity. And yes the 'friend' is a priest. Thank You, God Bless, Frank Mack
-- Frank McCormack (firstname.lastname@example.org), May 29, 2002
Marriage is a permanent and indivisibe union. For the Church to declare that no such union ever existed is, to say the least, a serious thing. You don't mention much about your marriage, or your "girlfriend," so it'd be difficult to comment with any certainty on your situation. On what grounds do you seek an anullment?
Frankly, I'm a bit shocked that you've been given *any* kind of runaround. Seems to me the modern church hands out annulments like candy. Must be an awful lot of invalidly married folks out there.
-- jake (email@example.com), May 30, 2002.
Rather then annulments being given out like candy perhaps an awakening by more and more priests at the parish level are aware thes unions were not made in heaven. At the chancery office the institutional bureaucratics often just push paper.
A new beginning for both is in the offing I feel.
-- Jean Bouchard (firstname.lastname@example.org), May 30, 2002.
Wow! Thanks Jake. It's good to hear from another Jake. Well, I would say the same thing. If unullments were that easy, then marriage would be a joke. Why even get married? You might as well have the unullment papers partially complete at the alter - that way if anything "should" happen, it would be even easier. Right? Marriage is a bond that no MAN should tear asunder!
If you truly believe that your marriage was null and void before it began, and that good reasons substantiate that, then there really should be little "investigation" to be done by the Church to get an anullment. On the other hand, if you have to search for loopholes and "ways out", (you might see this as a red flag) it may verywell be that this is a legit marriage. I would have to argue that if an anullment is pushed through by loopholes and friends on the inside (who might massage the wording, etc.), the anullment may be on paper, but God knows your heart.
If it really is not a null and void marriage, then you must do what you can to reconcile with your wife, or separate and live a chaste life. Marriage is not a walk in the park, even if you and your spouce are the perfect match. But it is "till death do you part". For this reason anullment is not an easy process.
I pray that God may bring you to reconcile with your spouce.
-- Jake Huether (email@example.com), May 30, 2002.
should be spouse.
-- Jake Huether (Jake.firstname.lastname@example.org), May 30, 2002.
Frank, the truth is many if not most Catholics believe the Church should recognize divorce, even its clergy.
Actually anyone for almost any reason can get an annulment today. There is need though to make it appear a difficult process so folks won't come running out of the woodwork seeking it. Appearance is everything.
-- xxxxx (email@example.com), May 30, 2002.
If the marriage is valid, even the Pope has no authority to dissolve it. The one case I know of, and yes I know the couple personally, was told by the chancery office to go and get a civil divorce first, then come back & talk about anullment!!!
That Bishop will answer to God for that unspeakable crime, but I suspect he has other and even more serious things to worry about these days. Get ready to breathe in that new springtime, I'm sure it's just around the corner!
-- jake (firstname.lastname@example.org), May 30, 2002.
You wrote: "The one case I know of, and yes I know the couple personally, was told by the chancery office to go and get a civil divorce first, then come back & talk about anullment!!!
Don't be surprised, Jake. At least in the U.S., the Church will not consider a petition for a Decree of Nullity until a divorce is final. This is for the Church's legal protection, lest she be sued by one of the spouses for causing a division in the marriage by granting a Decree of Nullity prematurely.
Jake, you also wrote: "Seems to me the modern church hands out annulments like candy. Must be an awful lot of invalidly married folks out there."
There is no such thing as "the modern church." How could there be any "invalidly married folks"? An invalid "union" results in no marriage -- i.e., still "UNmarried folks."
The Church does not "hand out annulments like candy." Please treat these matters with seriousness and justice, after learning the facts. Please stop passing along gossip and foolish allegations.
It certainly IS true that millions of people who have been through a wedding ceremony are NOT validly married. This is particularly true of vast numbers of non-Catholics, some of whom "marry" without being open to have any children, some of whom don't believe that marital consent is for life, etc.. It is also true of huge numbers of Catholics who become inactive and get invalidly "joined" by a minister or Justice of the Peace.
I have read that more than half of the Decrees of Nullity that are granted pertain to non-Catholic "unions." (A non-Catholic "spouse" is now converting or wants to marry a Catholic, so the Decree is sought.)
Frank M., I found your opening message very offensive. It is peppered with various criticisms of the Church -- none of which is merited. In your unseemly impatience, you never found time to admit that you (or your friend) made the original mistake of entering into a "union" that you now claim was invalid. I recommend that you pray for the process to take even LONGER than you originally thought, as a penance for your original error and for your public criticism of the Church, which is trying to do her best to help you.
God bless you.
PS: All should ignore the above disgusting anti-Catholic message from a woman who has been banned from the forum -- the abortion provider, J. Storey (posing as "xxxxx").
-- J. F. Gecik (email@example.com), June 01, 2002.