Lessons that backfired

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Ever try to teach a life lesson to your children only to have it turn out way wrong? when our oldest were four and three, we had an oppossum in the back yard..that oppossum started showing up every night right after supper..we'd sit in the windowseat and watch it nose around the yard and then walk off into the woods. One night my husband decided to show the children how an oppossum "plays possum"..he wen tto great lengths to have the kids and I sut quietly in the window while he grabbed the broom, turned it upside down and went outside..he told us he was going to "tap" the oppossum gently with the broomstick and we could then watch it "play dead'. there was Dad, sneaking up on old Mr.Oppossum with the broom....TAP...the oppossum turned around faster than you could say "WHOA" and snapping his jaws together and making a rather nasty hissing noise, took off after Dad as fast as he could go...we had really good seats to watch Dad run like a Gazelle around the entire back yard while the opossum was on his heels for several minutes.....Dad finally made it out to the front yard and the opossum took off into the woods, never to return as far as we knew. Dad was not in the mood to discuss much about it that evening..LOL...personally, I had trouble trying to keep myself from hysterical laughter ..it had to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life....here's one more.....my mother and I were travelling by bus across country and stopped in Las Vegas..we went to the ladies room and there was a slot machine! I was all of ten years old at the time and asked my mother for a quarter to play the machine. Mother loved to pontificate in front of a crowd..so she raised her voice so the other ladies could be sure to hear.."Here's a quarter for you Lesley. You'll find that a fool and her money are soon parted." I put that quarter in, pulled the lever and soon heard the noise that $20 worth of quarters makes when it hits the till..........lovely. anybody else have these kind of stories??

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), April 26, 2002

Answers

Thanks!!! You just gave me the best laugh I've had in a long time.I can just picture your husband running from that opossum! ROTFL!!

-- Johna (in central TX) (marcnjohna@aol.com), April 26, 2002.

Lesley--as you know we live in a really-really small town----& I have chickens & ducks & geese in my yard----

We have possum----that love to come on the front porch & eat cat food!!! They also like to eat my livestock if they have a chance!!!

I shot at the possum with a bb-gun----then I worked up to my 22 hand gun--but I'd miss it with the sites after dark with the 22--my eye sight is bad any more---

So hubby brought down my legal length sawed off snake charmer-single shot--shot gun---well all I have to do is point it in the direction of the possum & I have hit it!! ha!

Well I also make enough noise that some of the people who live behind me call the sherrif's office when ever I shoot the gun off- I was raised with guns---& across from our house is nothing but a hill & no houses---that is the direction I always shoot---

Well here comes the police & ask if it was me who shot off a firearm in town--why????????? I point at the possum in the yard---& say that is why-------the next week in the county paper is always in the sherrif's report----that they were called to our town as someone was shooting a gun within the city limits of the town----- Everyone in the county---& everywhere else that reads the paper -- knows it is me---& I get teased to death--I'm known as the pistol packing Mama----Annie Oakley----etc/etc/etc/etc/---

but with all the teaseing-----hubby has worked nights for years--- & everyone knows don't mes with her---while her hubby is gone---she will shoot & ask questions later!!! ha!

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), April 27, 2002.


How funny!

When I was about 6 my folks went on a vacation for several weeks and left me and my 8 yr. old brother with the neighbors. They had an 8 yr. old son, Clyde, who was my brother's best friend. Clyde was a big, athletic, self-confident kid who was the leader of our "pack". One afternoon we found a wasp's nest out in the field on the underside of an old log. We fooled around watching it and poking at it for awhile, and when we went in for supper we told Clyde's parents about it. We received a severe lecture from Clyde's dad about the danger of messing with a wasp nest. He informed us he would go out after dark and capture the nest in a big jar and dispose of it. We would get to go along and watch.

I can still remember how excited we were, waiting for night to arrive. We finally went out to the field, Clyde's dad holding a gallon jar, and Clyde was given the grown up responsibility of holding the flashlight. When we arrived at the nest, all the bees were tucked in for the night and Clyde's dad started easing the jar around the nest, lid in hand ready to entrap the nest full of wasps so they could do no harm. About that time a couple wasps sleepily crawled out. The flashlight started wavering, then bobbing erratically. Clyde's dad started hissing at Clyde to hold the flashlight still so he (the dad) wouldn't bump the nest and disturb it. Just as he was about to clamp the lid down, one of the wasps flew up and straight at Clyde. Poor Clyde let out a horrible screech and threw the flashlight at the nest, then took off at a dead run for the house with my brother and I hot on his heels. Clyde's dad was far behind, yelling loudly. We kids made it to the house in record speed, ran through the front door, then locked it behind us to make sure no wasps got in. Clyde's dad was soon at the door, screaming and pounding on the door for us to let him in. NO WAY were we letting those wasps in where they could get us! I never did figure out why we were all grounded for the next week.

After high school, Clyde went on to play college football and was something of a hero around our neighborhood. I could always remember the "hero" throwing the flashlight and making his famous run for the house with the swarm of wasps behind him.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@nospam.com), April 27, 2002.


You just gotta love these things..possums, slot machines, gun toting women, wasps and screaming fathers..any more??? there's GOT to be more!!!!

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), April 27, 2002.

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