Job Qualifications (joke)greenspun.com : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread
Slightly off-topic, but for all you hard-workin' people out there, a bit of humour I thought I'd share.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then, I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
So I retired and found I am perfect for the job!
-- Chelsea (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 12, 2002
Excellent. I'll have to use some of these on my next resume' that I send out.
-- r.h. in okla. (email@example.com), April 12, 2002.
I was confused when I was laid off from my last job. I thought I was going to be the owner one day, since the company "was always giving me the business" during my career :>)
Good thread, Chelsea.
-- Jay Blair in N. AL (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 12, 2002.