What Is The Matter With People ??!!!

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Had a situation happen to me today that really makes me wonder about the human race. Was "in town" about 30 miles from me today with the old truck and thought I would stop and get a sandwich on my way to the feed store. Parked..no problem..plenty of space etc. As soon as I got out of the truck this "person" came out of a store waving his arms and saying "hope you didn't put a ding on my car" ? I thought he was joking and replied "of course I didn't" well..he literally went off on me with names and hand jestures that I couldn't believe. Even called several names at my poor little farm truck !! I figured I better keep walking and not answer him back. (was going to bring the rottie with me but didn't..should have) Went into the store and asked the clerk to please use the phone to call the police because this man was going to cause me trouble. He continued to "carry on" but before we could even make the call he pulled away. What a circus he put on !! It was frightening at the time but it made me wonder ....what is happening to this world that people are so very angry for no reason at other people ?? Maybe I live in a fairy tale world but I like to think that people do care about each other. Guess I better wake up and smell the coffee !! Has anyone ever experienced anything similiar?? I realize that this is no real big thing but it just makes me wonder and a little sad at society today. Maybe being in the country and living the homestead life we just don't know that there are terrible, nasty people in this world. What will the world be for our children and grandchildren ?? I choose to think that there are still good and kind people that will pull us through. Anyone have any thoughts ?? Thanks for listening !!

-- Helena (windyacs@npacc.net), April 08, 2002

Answers

Sorry to hear of your experience. I think it is just that this is the experience that stands out at this moment. I am sure you meet lots of nice, friendly folks all day long and just take maybe take it for granted and are so use to people being nice that the bad apples tend to stand out more. I would be willing to bet that this bozo either has a drug, alcohol, or emotional problem. Reasonable people just don't go off like that. He definately has some problem somewhere!

-- Karen (mountains_mama2@hotmail.com), April 08, 2002.

Helena,

Maybe the guy was having a bad day? No excuse for his behavior...but to be gracious and all! Don't let one idiot put you off to visiting town or going anywhere, doing anything in your truck! How dare he call 'her' names!

Don't get fired up like me: a brand new Tahoe had my '70 Road Runner blocked in at the local deli-I said "I'm just leaving" He said 'I'll just be a minute' I said "Me too, and this car has wrecked nicer one's than that" He moved.

-- Kathy (catfish201@hotmail.com), April 08, 2002.


I live by a streach of Rt 80 that is 6 (and in some places 8) lanes wide. 3 Eastbound, 3 Westbound. The left lane is for passing, the right lane is for entering and slow. So, if I am doing the speed limit of 65, I should be in the center lane, right? Why then do I have people flashing highbeams at me or flying past me on the right if the left lane is for passing. That really gets me because they will come up to a slow moving car and cut me off. Everyone is in a rush, talking on their cell phones and having road rage. Maybe yours was a carry over of mine. Was he heading toward New York?

-- Dee (gdgtur@goes.com), April 08, 2002.

That is a prime example of why I do my best to ignore the general public these days.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), April 08, 2002.

lol, maybe he had one too many dings and you just happened to be the victim of him snapping.(I think I may have given him a few more though if he went off on me like that) Alot of people don't seem to care if they ding your car in parking lots. It seems to get worse all the time. I've gotten several, one substantial one just in the past year. I can tell it's not an accident most of the time but just a careless disregard for others. I'd be shocked if anyone who did that ever left at the least a note of apology.

-- Dave (multiplierx9@hotmail.com), April 08, 2002.


I chalk that stuff up to "he/she must have a boil on their butt".

-- Susan in Michigan (cobwoman@yahoo.com), April 09, 2002.

They say "it takes all kinds to make the world". If the country folk keep trudging along I have faith the others will knock each other off. Anyway, our kids will be better able to deal with the world than theirs. I am glad my little car doesn't have to worry about "dings". One more won't be noticed at all, but I get 30mpg and a nice smooth ride.

-- Robin Downing (Southpawrobin1@aol.com), April 09, 2002.

About a month ago, I had to go into Fayetteville and was on the new interstate for short stretch going 55mph in my ancient truck. Guy in little car pulled up beside me, showed me the bird and zoomed past. Never experienced that kind of behavior in this area. If anything people here used to give you an unexpected, "hi ya neighbor" sort of friendly wave. Afraid the "Californians" are outnumbering the friendly natives in this county now, probably my a much wider margin than I am aware of.

-- HermitJohn (Hermit@hilltop_homestead.zzn.com), April 09, 2002.

You never did say if you put a ding in his car or not. Just curious.

-- Mike (uyk7@hotmail.com), April 09, 2002.

I was at DMV yesterday renewing my license (turned the big 4-0 the other day) and registering the horse trailer. Their computer was down for what turned out to be five minutes, there were some downright nasty people in there! Cussing because the computer was down, cussing because they didn't complete the form correctly I made sure I was extra nice to the ladies that helped me to offset the "nasties."

Why do license photos come out so horrible? I'm not unfortunate looking but those pictures always make me look like I've crawled out from under a rock- and I'm stuck with the picture for eight years!

Stacy in NY

-- Stacy (KincoraFarm@aol.com), April 09, 2002.



I have to admit to occasionally zooming down the highway (usually not more than 1-2 miles over the limit), but that's on the multi-lane highways. With all our homeschool activities, I chalk up a fair number of miles every week, and regularly get flipped off, tailgated, passed, etc. And this is when at the speed limit (and even slightly above). And whenever people pass, they almost always glare at me, as if they own the road and why on earth am I on it! I'm often hauling or trailing a full van or trailer full of hay, and always my children, occasionally some critters to the vet (I go SUPER slow when I'm hauling goats in the back of the van), and often cakes and other goodies to church (hate to see that chocolate cake become an upside-down cake!). Why is everyone always in such a hurry?! At least that's the way it seems...

Sorry you had to experience that, Helena! : )

-- Andrea Gauland, Big Flats NY (andreagee@aol.com), April 09, 2002.


Helena, I had a guy follow me into a drug store because I changed lanes in front of him. I didn't "cut him off". We were doing about 25-30mph at the time and he just didn't like the fact that I was in a pickup and was in front of him. I ran into the store and he chased me in there yelling at me the whole time. I asked the store clerk to call the police...the store manager almost threw ME out of the store with this man, thinking it was some sort of domestic issue. The police finally arrived and when I explained the story to them, they detained the man so I could get home without him following me. I mean to tell you, I was pretty shook up about it for days. My husband and I were just talking to a Llama breeder yesterday and we all agreed, animals are so much better to live with than people! I guess the way to look at the situation is, now you will be thankful you don't live "in town". Sometimes when I'm in town, I wave to someone in a pickup out of habit and they look at me like I'm nuts! Gotta love country folks! And to the other post about driver's license pictures....You summed it up, the pics are terrible to punish all the nasty people who come in and yell and complain! ;)

-- Cindy (Ilovecajun@aol.com), April 09, 2002.

Kindness is all that matters, Love & Respect for all things.

-- calvin (calvin@dwave.net), April 09, 2002.

Lack of Christ! also the media, people watch all the trash in the tv, and they think that's real and they start copying the tv shows into their lives. But it's true there people very insecure and they have physical and emotional problems. Taking drugs, and into DEBTS, that you wouldn't believe. I remember my father just to say, "if you make two dollars spent 50 cents". He always paid everything in cash never had a credit card, and he even left money to us when he passed away. That is not the case in our day. Recently I posted an idea in how to save money, moving to an old house and in no such a great pleace, and save as much money as possible. I received terrible and horrible answers in this same forum. There is a lot of anger out there. But first, find Christ, and second get away from debts, and everything else will be ok. Sorry that you had such a bad experience. But I hate to say we all had some stories like that. One that comes to my mind, is I was on vacation in Florida, I wanted to buy a Hawaiian shirt. When I came to the store, to buy one the saleperson told me that I was too fat for their shirts. I look at him and I asked him how you dare to talk to me like that? I want to see your supervisor, he said he is not here "I want for you to leave because we don't have your size we don't sell shirt for fat people", I demanded to see his supervisor, finally a guy Fatter than me, show up. And even when I was terribly upset, I controlled myself and I explained to the manager what the saleperson told me, the manager was terribly sorry and I got my shirt, my size! free!. Then I went to the saleperson and I told him, God should love you, but you are in the wrong business, and the sale person told me "no anymore, I was fired thanks to you fat bitch" and he walked away. I just felt sorry for this yound guy, so young and so full of hate. Well anger doesn't pay. Ralph.

-- Ralph Roces (rroces1@yahoo.com), April 09, 2002.

It is a good thing you didn't have your Rottie with you. He might of had his lawyer's phone number with him.

-- Mel Kelly (melkelly@webtv.net), April 09, 2002.


all the more reason to only go to town when it is necessary. i can id with andrea-i usually have a child or two or four with me and am a careful driver-i get all kinds of nasty looks. almost got rearended this am on the was to school by a lady who was tailgating-when a slow truck pulled out and i slowed down to avoid hitting him, she swerved all over the road. then passed me (barely missing my bumper) as soon as she could, speeding the whole time. i really pity people who are in such a hurry they can't be careful or polite. dl photos are just hideous so the cop will look at it longer trying to determine if it's really you!!!

-- laura (okgoatgal@hotmail.com), April 09, 2002.

Most likely, the most important thing in this mans life is his Car. Wouldn't it be nice , to see a goat standing on top of it.

-- Nathan (barnyard_mini@yahoo.com), April 09, 2002.

What's the matter with people is a GOOD question Helena! I have had a different sort of problem. The nearest Wal-Mart and large grocery store is an hour away from me. At both stores, I have had guys try to pick me up!! WIERD! I don't know if it's me and my truck they are after or maybe I look irresistible with a months worth of toilet paper in my cart! I don't go shopping alone anymore. LOL!

-- cowgirlone in ok (cowgirlone47@hotmail.com), April 09, 2002.

A little humor. Some would say very little. Driving to the office this morning on the thruway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 65 MPH with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!!! It scared me (I'm a man) so bad, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL!!!!!!!

WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- chickadee (chickadee@treetops.com), April 09, 2002.


Have you ever noticed that you are judged by the way you look. More and more this is true. We live in south central Kentucky. Even here in stores you are judged because you aren't all dressed up and driving the newest thing you own. We went into a cigarette store and denied to pay by check because "telechek" said there was a problem. Three months later and numerous correspondence "telechek" told us there was nothing wrong. The sales person in the store used "telechek" as an excuse not to take our check, probably because we were dressed in farm clothes (jeans, boots and shirt). So don't feel bad. Although, I am sorry that you had to suffer the terror.

-- Carole Kington (kington@duo-county.com), April 09, 2002.

Carole, if that ever happens again, you should ask to see the denial in person, and if you have to get a supervisor to do it, you should. That's awful. I hope you stopped doing any kind of business with that store.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), April 09, 2002.

LOL! i thought it was just me that was getting hit on at wal-mart! oh, ms.cowgirlone, it must be that we share some *sparkle* or sexy- self-confidence that attracts those hopefull fellows. or.... is it that we look desperate? :0 the last time one tried to pick me up i did a mirror check out of parinoia thinking "what do i look like a blue light special?!?!"

other than the freak being a mental case ms. helena, do you think he was trying to set you up to be a 'fall guy' for an already present ding? or to have someone rob your truck as you stayed inside away from the 'nut-case'? yes, as mr. joel has certainly previously stated, 'you are not paranoid if they really ARE out to get you!' :)

also ms. helena i belive there are plenty of terrible people homesteading too, they just know to keep it to themselves, 'cause they know a lot of the neighbors have protective anmals or are armed! :)

-- bj pepper ,in central MS. (pepper.pepper@excite.com), April 09, 2002.


Helena, What is the matter with people?

They haven't found out about the "countryside mag forum"!!!

-- Woodsbilly n.c. Pa. (coleenl@penn.com), April 09, 2002.


Try to overlook it, he was probably a republican and didn't know any better :)

-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), April 10, 2002.

Helena, Being that we live in the country we tend to get more relaxed about our driving. We lose our offensive driving attitude seemingly necessary for survival in city driving. However, with all the growth where we are and all commuters, things are changing. Maybe he'd just driven home from work on the interstate and unloaded on you.

Everytime we go out on the road, things happen because we try to obey the speed limit and traffic laws. It doesn't help when the troopers are passing you too.

There are a lot of two lande roads around here yet trying to handle the influx of commuter traffic. I admit to a certain amount of delight in seeing a line of twenty or so cars lined up behind me having to go the speed limit. They should all thank me for helping them not to get a ticket or into an accident! ;-)

You should hear some of the things said to me when I point out to someone that they are in a no parking zone in front of Walmart or the bank....then again, maybe you shouldn't!

My favorite thing to see is the idiot who passed me on the solid line approaching a hill, 20 miles over the speed limit, has been pulled over and is being given a ticket when I pass him further down the road.

There is also immense satisfaction to be derived from pulling up behind another idiot at the red light. The same idiot that passed me a mile back and then had to sit and wait at the light anyways. By the time I get there, the light is green and I don't have to wear out my brakes.

One day when the above scenario happened, the lady in front got out of her car and came back to mine and chewed me out because I was laughing at her. She tried to tell me that she had an emergency and was in a hurry. Problem was, I knew she had not taken the best route and her hurry wasn't getting her anywhere anyfaster but was endangering other people on the road.

Sigh, methinks it will only get worse.

-- Lavender, Central Maryland (Lavenderbluedilly@hotmail.com), April 10, 2002.


I recently wrote an aticle for Focus On the Family that speaks to this subject. What do you do when someone goes off in public? Do you walk away, ignore him, or do you say something?

I make the point that we have a responsibility to do what we can to point it out when people's behavior is unacceptable in public. The operative phrase here is "do what we can". While it might be easier for an Ex-Ranger to walk up and say something (tactfully, of course) to the offending party, someone else may simply have to be content to "be extra nice" to offset their rudeness. The bottom line, however, is that we have a civic duty to not only set a good example in public, but to expect others to do so as well.

Read the article here.

-- Chuck (woah@mission4me.com), April 11, 2002.


I could write a book on both the rudeness and kindness of people. You see, I'm handicapped and I use an electric cart to shop...my own, by the way. I've had people almost walk over me, glare at me and walk in front of me. To them, I'm equally rude. I say VERY loud"Are you always that rude or it is just to me?"! They slink off to another aisle. I had a grocery bagger question me about what was in my basket when checking out. MY DH chewed him a new you-know-what! I've also had teenagers come and help me get a package from a high display. I've had people stop and give me a chance to go through a doorway by holding it open! There are all kinds of people out there...I chose to remember the nice ones. In my own silly way, I secretly hope that the nasty ones will use a cane, crutches, Depends or a wheel chair someday...especially the Depends! LOL!

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), April 11, 2002.

Chickadee -- ROFLMBO!!!! Oh, wow -- my husband is going to read this the minute he walks in the door!! He has a habit of reading the car ads in the paper and snorting whenever he reads "lady driven"!

-- Tracy (trimmer31@hotmail.com), April 11, 2002.

Maybe he'd just spent 24 hours with the Countryside forum off-line, and he was suffering severe deprivation, and HE WAS TENSE. THAT WOULD BE ENTIRELY UNDERSTANDABLE, I THINK!!!!!

-- Don Armstrong (darmst@yahoo.com.au), April 11, 2002.

Something to keep in mind is that "keeping a line of cars" behind you doing the speed limit could actually get someone killed. If there are more than 2/3 vehicles behind you then maybe you should pull over and let them pass. Imagine someone wanting to go 5 miles over the limit and trying to pass 1 or more vehicles. If an oncoming vehicle appears there may not be time/room to get back in the correct lane. In fact, about 10-12 years ago the highway traffic safety commission made an advertisement showing exactly that. Mext time you see vehicles lining up behind you, pull over and let them pass.

-- Mike (uyk7@hotmail.com), April 11, 2002.

Taking your story at face value, you A)encountered a real idiot, B) the person has mental problems, and/or C)they drink a lot or take other legal/illegal drugs/medication(s)

-- fred (lookin38@hotmail.com), April 12, 2002.

I had a somewhat similar experience recently. I substituted at our local very small school the other day. One of the boys was defiant and I finally sent him to the office. Went to the school the other night to a School Board meeting and saw this boy loitering around the school and he saw me. I thought it best to lock my vehicle. The next morning, as I was getting something out of the back of my van, I noticed "hoe" deeply scratched into the paint! No witnesses of course, but I guess nothing can be done. At first I was really mad, but decided the best thing to do was to pray for him. He's never been taught respect for himself or anyone else. In the mean time, I've been tempted to scratch "shovel and rake" into the paint as well, after all I am an organic gardener!

-- Darla Strickland (darla1963@hotmail.com), April 12, 2002.

great answer Darla

-- B. Lackie - Zone3 (cwrench@hotmail.com), April 12, 2002.

Great answer Darla.......very good example of when you get a lemon, make lemonaide. Was just reading 5 rules for happiness on another website and they include "free your heart from hate" and you do an excellent job at that.

-- fred (fred@lookin38.com), April 12, 2002.

What I wonder is, don't people realize how dangerous it is to drive so aggressively? To pass on the right, weave in and out of heavy traffic on the freeway (like it's going to get you somewhere), to tailgate someone, flashing their high beams to make them move over, and then move on to the next driver and make them move over? Where I drive on the freeway, the average speed it 85, and everybody is tailgating, cutting each other off, not letting others merge or change lanes. Somebody is gonna get hurt.

If I drive the speed limit, I feel like I'm in everybody's way. All the cars zoom past me. I try to be as courteous as I can, to give others the space to merge, to let someone in when they want/need to change lanes. If I can give someone a break from having to deal with so many bad drivers, I can see it makes them - and me - feel good. If I drive safely and reasonably, observing the rules of the road, my husband says I am driving dangerously. How is it that the other cars are doing dangerous moves at high speeds - and I am driving dangerously?

Once my husband and I were nearly driven into a guard rail on the freeway by an enraged driver. If we hadn't braked suddenly, he would have hit our front bumper and driven us off the road - at 70 mph. And he was doing it deliberately! We picked up a cell phone and called 911, and this guy got off the freeway and disappeared immediately. If people get crazy, they usually go away and leave you alone when they see you pick up the phone.

-- Christine Baillie (towanda515@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.


driving an older loaded down truck ,a woman in a newer car cut me off and her 5-6 year old son flipped me off ,could see her laughing at how cute he was well.... wait a few years and see if she still thinks he is so cute . the trouble with most kids is the parents no examples or the wrong ones i dont cut people off on the road and i would have reached over and swated any of my children for such behavior but they know better anyway .

-- george darby (gardenalways@yahoo.com), April 13, 2002.

This is in response to Mike's post:

I understand your point Mike. However, (I know this will sound arrogant but I do not mean it as such) I should not have to get off the road if I'm obeying the traffic laws and going the speed limit. The people behind me make their own decisions about whether to pass and are solely responsible for their decisions.

Besides, I would have to be getting off the road every ten minutes because there would be a new line. It would take me "forever" to get wherever I was going just to be accomodating to antsy drivers.

-- Lavender, Central Maryland (lavenderbluedilly@hotmail.com), April 14, 2002.


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