Everyone needs a break once in a while. What I did starting when Kadia was 5-6 months old was this. There was a very nice young teenage girl (she was 13 at the time) who lived up the road from us. Her family was very poor, so I knew she could use some extra money (what teenager can't???) I had her get off the bus after school about 3 nights a week for an hour of so. I would pay her $2 for this (this was 14 years ago) She would play with Kadia while I went outside and worked around the yard, went for a long walk, and sometimes just got a shower!!! I never went anywhere in the car, so I was close by in case of an emergency.

When I cam back I was refreshed and ready to go again. Kadia was a draining child, as she nursed constantly, wanted to be held all the time, and was kind of clingy! Now she is the nicest sweetest girl!!! I think we loved all the crying right out of her!!!! I was only 19 so I was young, but I do think this was a wise decision. When Cale came home at night, he was doing demolition work and he was exhausted so I knew he wouldn't want to watch a baby every night, although he did when I was taking college classes.

If the kids are a little older, there is nothing wrong with making them take a nap, or have quiet time for an hour a day. It is a life-saver to have this down time each day.

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (me@home.net), February 21, 2002

Answers

I gave her $2 each time, not for the whole week! Also when we moved up here, we also had another neighbor girl who didn't have any brothers or sisters ans she would come and "play" with the kids!! These teenagers can be a great source of help, giving mothers a break.

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (me@home.net), February 21, 2002.

Amen, from a mom and grandma! I STILL (yes, I'm shouting) remember how worn out I was with toddlers and a house to care for, not to mention the animals and outside work. Give me a barn to clean anytime, physical work isn't near as taxing as caring for young children. I loved my little ones immeasurably, but not having breaks throughout the day or being able to "quit" at 5:00 is terribly draining at times. Especially if you have to get up at night with them also.

For the last 2 years, I have been caring for my now 3 yr. old granddaughter from Sunday afternoon till Wed. night, sometimes longer. This includes nights. It's only one child, but I'm not as young or healthy as I used to be either. It's been a great refresher course on what young mothers go through. Motherhood is not for wimps or selfish people!! Cathy N.'s post (If it's too late to help Andrea Yates, what can we do to help others?) is one of the best commentaries I've ever read regarding what young mothers deal with. Breaks are a necessity, and every mother should be able to get away for awhile, even if it's like Melissa described - just a teen to keep an eye on things while you get outdoors or go take a hot shower.

My usually sunny natured granddaughter is not feeling well this week and yesterday had a day when nothing went right. She whined and fussed all day long. When my dh came home he quickly sized up the situation and said, "My, are we being cranky today?" Becca scowled at him, leaned forward till her nose was nearly touching his and snarled, "GRRRRRR!"

Moms have their "GRRRRR!" days, too.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), February 21, 2002.

Amen!. I think men should be educated on what their wives do all day. I had 4 kids and my ex was home one day-all day. He said, I didn't know you did anything all day. Let's see, 4 kids, brownie leader-for me this was like a part=time job, junior co-leader, PTO group, church nursery, housework, our house was the one the neighborhood kids hang out at, gardening, canning, did I mention housework, woodburning stove, laundry, cooking, friends, shopping, I'm sure I mention housework. And he thought I didn't do anything all day. And all the guilt that went along with not being perfect.

Yes, moms need time for themselves, and time to be alone with God. And husabands and wives need time alone for themselves.

-- Cindy (SE. IN) (atilrthehony@hotmail.com), February 21, 2002.

There is a group of parents in our area that have Date clubs. Basicly a community baby setting service so that couples can spend some time togeather without the kids. We rotate around so everyone gets some time with their spouse. Some actually go out for dinner, some for a drive, some just home to rest or "whatever"

My wife watches a kid once in a while for a young couple. Their kid comes down to play and they can spend some time togeather.

-- Gary in Ohio (gws@columbus.rr.com), February 21, 2002.

Moms do need a break! When I had my first three lived where I didn't have access to someone to give me a break (Dave would but he was working too) We had moved when I had the fourth what a difference having friends and family around! Even now with the kids between 12 and 22, they know when I get home from work I need a break (work 12 hours in an ER) I go out and work in the barn and unwind!! Even at 9:00pm it helps. Then I am ready to deal with what ever! Try to have a teenager come over will be the best money spent! Denise

-- Denise K. (Rabbitmom2@webbworks.com), February 21, 2002.