George And Bobby Crawl Inside A Cow.greenspun.com : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread
I don't know what happened to Bessie, our cow. One day she was in the barn alive, and the next day she was dead.I found her in the barn dead. I felt her and she was stiff as a board. I couldn't figure out what had happened to her, just the night before she was fine when I fed and watered her, but there she was just a few hours later on her way to cow heaven.
What do you do with a hugh cow when it dies at the beginning of winter? The ground was already frozen, and I for one was not about to get out a shovel and slam my foot down on it, to try and penetrate the frozen earth.We didn't have a tractor with a bucket to dig a hole. I thought we should cut her up and put her in the freezer no one else thought my idea was as good as I did.I figured since she was gone already none of us would have to do her in. Mum always made me feel only half as smart as I thought I was. Mum said, "George, we are not going to eat the cow, we don't know what she died from." I gave the cows body a go over, and decided she didn't have any bite marks so a fox couldn't have bit her the night before and given her rabies. Bessie didn't look sick, she just looked dead.
I would get so frustrated in those days, it was the winter of 1969, and it seemed like my parents just had to always make the decisions with no regard at all to what us kids thought. In my mind if I dared to cut the cow up and eat her than they should at least let me get a steak from her, but not even one steak was taken from Bessies body.
It was decided a rope would be tied around Bessie, and everyone would help drag her out of the barn, and down to the dump in back of the house. The next spring we would be able to bury her. I thought it was very creul to drag Bessie around like we did. My way of thinking was Bessie was going to stay just as frozen in the barn as she would be on the dump, so why bother moving her at all.Besides she looked so peaceful in the barn. To me Bessie looked like she was sleeping. I told everyone, "If we leave her in the barn we will be able to come down and see her, and we won't even have to feed and water her." Again, my parents did not like my idea, but it was o.k. with me, I was getting used to my parents looking at me with a look on their face, which to me was like saying, "You poor, pitiful, little fool."
The rope was tied around Bessie and everyone was directed to grab hold of the rope. When the orders were given we would all start to pull.
I hear the word, "Pull" I pulled as hard as I could. I could feel the muscles in my legs burning as I braced my feet against anything I could to help me get traction. Getting Bessie out of the barn was a very hard job. Even though it seemed like we had more than enough people, it only took a couple of minutes before I started wishing we had several more to help and I wouldn't be needed anymore. Once we got Bessie out of the barn the pulling became easier, but I was just to tired to help pull anymore, so I only acted like I was pulling. Little Jim was on to me, he yelled, "George, you better start pulling or I'm going to make you pull." My acting wasn't good enough, so I had to pull, and pull, and pull. I just didn't feel like I could pull anymore so I went all out on the acting. I watched what everyone else looked like as they struggled while pulling the cow. I twisted my face, so it was all distorted. I gunted just like everyone else, and I dug my feet into the snow to look like I was really putting some effort into it. When we got Bessie to the dump I was exhausted,after all, acting wears a person out.
It was sad to know Bessie would have to spend the winter on the dump. As we all walked away from Bessie I looked back at her. She still looked like she was sleeping, but after being pulled out of the barn and then through the snow, she just didn't look as relaxed as she had when I first found her, dead in the barn, that morning.
Us kids would make several trips during the winter to see how Bessie was holding up. One by one us kids lost interest in her. The snow would eventually cover Bessie, so all you could see was a mound where her body was under the snow.
When spring came we could see the mond of snow getting smaller and smaller. Again, us kids started to show interest in Bessie. We couldn't wait for the snow to melt completely so we could see what condition Bessie was in.
Finally one spring morning Bobby and I decided it was time to get a closer look. We had to be sneaky about going down around the cows body though, because our dear mother was worried we would get some horrible disease from Bessie. I thought Mum worried just a little to much, after all we did lots of gross things when we were out being kids, and she wasn't around.
Bobby and I walked towards Bessies body and commented to each other how good she looked. It appeared like she hadn't changed a bit during the winter.We couldn't believe she was still intact, we thought maybe wild animals would have torn her to pieces, but from the direction we were approaching her, she looked great.
As we walked towards Bessies body we were looking at the top of her head and her back. When we walked around to look her body over we both stopped and looked at her stomach. "Oh cool" I said to Bobby. Bobby looked at the cow then back at me and said, "Neat, she's empty." We both wondered what had happened to her insides. Everything in her stomach was gone.
My brother and I knelt down and looked at the cavity that used to hold Bessies intestines. It was dark inside of Bessie so we got on our hands and knees andalmost stuck our head in to see,but it was still to dark. Bobby and I stood up and talked things over. We decided the only way we would be able to see waht Bessie looked like would be to crawl inside of her.
We both wanted the other brother to be the one to climb inside Bessies stomach, but neither one of us was willing to be the first one to go in and investigate the hollowed out insides of the long, ded cow. Again, we talked things over and decided we would both go in at the same time.
Bobby and I got down on our hands and knees. We looked at each other and we both made the other brother promised he would go in and not chicken out. We decided the best thing to do was be sid-by-side and count to three. On the count of three we would both go in. One-two-three. We both stuck our head in and stopped. Then slowly we both made our way into Bessies stomach. Once both of our bodies were completely inside of Bessies, we noticed how warm it was in there and how neat looking it was. I said to Bobby, "It smells just like frozen hamburger in hear." Bobby agreed with me.
Bobby started running a finger along the exsposed ribcage. Bobby said, "WOW! this is neat, feel her bones George." I started running my fingers alonged Bessies ribcage also. Then we ran our fingers along her backbone. Once we were satisfied feeling Bessies bones and looking at her insides we decided to see what the world on the outside looked like from inside of a dead cow. We both stuck our heads out of the opening in Bessies stomach. We both thought the world outside looked a whole lot different when you were inside of a cow.
We stayed in the cow for a little longer talking about how a cow could have a person for a baby, even twin people. We figured if we could fit inside of a cow then a cow could carry two people and then have them just like they do calves.
Finally we got tired of being inside of Bessie and decided it was time to get out of her. We both crawled out on our hands and knees, and stood up. We stood and looked Bessie all over, poking at her every so often. We talked about how neat it would be when all that was left to her were her bones, so we could take them up to the house and put her together again.
After we had our fun with Bessie we decided to go to the house and tell Mum how neat it was to crawl inside of Bessie. We ran into the house, and both of us told Mum about crawling inside of Bessies stomach. Mum hit the ceiling. She screamed and screamed and then screamed even more. I just stood there looking at her wide eyed trying to figure out what was so wrong with crawling inside a dead cow. My way of thinking was, if you can eat a cow, you can crawl inside one too, just as long as it's dead.
Finally Bessies body was buried. Bobby and I did not get to collect her bones and rebuild her, but at least we got to see what she looked like on the inside.
-- george nh (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 15, 2002
I think your stories are a riot! I would have hated to do your laundry when you were a kid!!!!!!!! P.U.!!!!!
-- Nan (email@example.com), February 15, 2002.
George, nothing my kids do will ever freak me out, ever again. It will all pale in comparison to your story.
-- Shannon at Grateful Acres Animal Sanctuary (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 15, 2002.
George, love those stories! Keep 'em coming!
-- Karen (email@example.com), February 15, 2002.
even though my nose was wrinkled up the whole time I couldn't stop reading your story. Sounds like something my brother and I might have done (with a twist..I would have made him go in alone..haha)My 4 boys have surprized me many times, but man........ your poor mom!!!!!!
-- Jenny (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 16, 2002.
Do you and Bobby still talk about this one? Did you tell it to your kids and listen to them say "GROSS!"?
-- Christine in OK (email@example.com), February 16, 2002.
Christine, yes Bobby and I talk about this story all the time. Everyone who hears this story says, "Gross!"
I don't think I would suggest anyone crawl inside a dead cow,but I think it would be o.k. to stick your head in, and have a quick look around. lol
My mother always had her hands full with us kids, she never knew what to exspect next. There are several things us kids talk about when we get together, and you can almost bet my mother is going to say, "OH GROSS!!!"
-- george nh (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 16, 2002.
George, our granddaughter would have been right in there beside you and your brother! When we picked up our pig from the processor, the byproducts truck was there picking up all the "yuckies". She had to go over and examine all the stuff in the cans that had been sitting there at least a week. The driver probably had to psyche himself into not upchucking as she was asking why this part was green, and could she touch that stomach, and what was that? He finally asked her if she was planning on being a vet, or what? Didn't bother her a bit to look at all the innards, but the driver was getting a little green! Great story, keep 'em coming! Jan
-- Jan in Co (Janice12@aol.com), February 16, 2002.
I'm reminded of the classic "Dogs in Elk" story.
-- Tracy (email@example.com), February 16, 2002.
Another great story George! By the way, how is your book deal coming? I'm still looking forward to a signed copy!
-- Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 16, 2002.
George, I remember the parts about feeling the bones and it smelling like hamburger inside the cow, but not the rest of the story. Could you please put your name after the story title so I don't have to do so much searching for them. I printed everything so mom could read herself to sleep. I love you and I'll call you this weekend.
-- Bobby (email@example.com), February 18, 2002.
Oh my gosh! My little brother Bobby paid the forum a visit. Bobby is mentioned so often in my stories because we are only 11 months apart in age.We did a lot of things together, and most of them were getting into trouble.When I need help remembering a story I call on Bobby, somtimes he triggers something in my mind, which brings a story I had long forgotten back to life again.
I love you too Bobby.
-- george nh (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 2002.