Okay, I am going to go about this VERY carefully. I am going to share with you some things that I have learned in the year (only a year?!?) that I have been involved in various discussion boards via the internet. I have learned a lot about "Netiquette" and have been trying (and sometimes failing) to practice the best of what I have learned.

Let me say first that since I have been off forum for a few days, I have missed some of the recent debate going on here. A thread was deleted that I totally missed (and please, folks, DO NOT enlighten me as to what it was all about; I really don't want to know). Some of the "old-timers" around here might remember a thread I started a while back that was also deleted. Because of that experience, I feel uniquely qualified to speak up in defense of Melissa's actions (and hats off to her; it's tough to moderate these forums).

#1 Someone once stated here that these forums are a sterile environment, in that we only have the written word to go by. Someone may try to emphasize a point by using italics or all caps, but other than that, we have no clue as to the person's frame of mind, tone of voice, body language, etc. It is very easy to misunderstand what someone is saying since those other clues are not available over the net. I might try to be funny, sarcastic, serious, or tongue-in-cheek, and you would never know. Emoticons [:-), :-(] help, but not enough.

#2 In light of what I said in #1, you can see how difficult it is to convey one's thoughts on such a sensitive topic as religion. I think most of you will agree that there are probably as many different ideas on religion as there are people on this forum. No matter what anyone says, someone is sure to disagree in some way. And, since religion is so closely wrapped up in who we are, it is extremely difficult for some to disagree with a "cool head".

#3 Why religion is such a "hot" topic: Basically, there are two groups of people, as I see it. There are those who believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God, every word of which is true and should be believed and practiced. Then there are those who believe that the Bible is not necessarily God's word, and you can choose which parts to believe and/or practice. If you are in the first group, you believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven and that unbelievers are not going there. That is why you tend (sometimes) to be rather forceful in what you say. If you are in the second group, you tend to be more tolerant of all lifestyles and religions, and may be offended by the forcefulness of those in the first group.

(I hope you realize that I am making generalities here. As in everything, there are exceptions and variations within each group. Not everyone in group one is forceful; not everyone in group two is that tolerant.)

#4 I have been part of some interesting discussions on this forum where people were able to state their beliefs without causing heated debate. Someone else may come on and state a different view; others may begin to ask honest questions (as opposed to condemning questions) as they think about what they believe in light of what the Bible says or what someone else says. This is how people grow, change, and mature. Once "name-calling" starts, this questioning process comes to a screeching halt as people either get defensive or crawl back into their shell (a figure of speech not intended to be demeaning in any way).

#5 If you want to state your biblical reasons for why you believe what you believe, try to phrase your subject line in such a way that everybody knows up front that you are posting a "religious" thread. That way, everyone who opens that thread knows what they're getting into. I once started a thread that stated a topic without saying I was discussing religion. The backlash from that definitely did not make Melissa's day (or mine) any brighter. (That was the thread that was deleted.) The next time I addressed a "touchy" subject, I stated in the subject line that I was addressing church members. That discussion proved to be much more profitable.

#6 There is no need to be forceful with one's religion. We may all feel like we're family here, and that there is a sense of safety, but 99% of us have never seen each other and never will. There is no way to really know who forum participants really are inside. We can't have any type of "meaningful" relationship that would give us any indication that so-and-so on the forum is ready to receive "preaching". If a person has questions about what you believe, they will ask you. If you are a member of group one (Bible believers) you understand that the Holy Spirit can work in a person's heart; you don't have to force others to believe you or the Bible. Maybe you don't think you are being forceful, but if you are perceived that way, then you need to back off a little (or sometimes a lot).

Remember, this is the internet. What you say here is not always what people hear.

More than enough said, probably.

-- Cathy N. (homekeeper86@sympatico.ca), February 12, 2002

Answers

Very well said, Cathy N. Thank you for taking the time to write and post this.

-- Terry - NW Ohio (aunt_tm@hotmail.com), February 12, 2002.

Good Job!

-- Christine in OK (cljford@mmcable.com), February 12, 2002.

Well said!

-- charlie (charliesap@pldi.net), February 13, 2002.

Thank You Cathy. I think it needed to be said, and you said it so well.

Alison

-- Alison Homa (alisonhoma@hotmail.com), February 13, 2002.

Nice job Cathy: I have one comment about #3 tho. Its not a criticism either but an expansion. Yes there are those who believe in the infallibility of the bible and those who don't, but there are also those, myself included, who recognize that even IF the bible is infallible thats certainly no guarantee the individual or denominational interpretations of it are.

To me thats an obviously true statement and hardly argueable. With that in mind it should give us all pause when we assert something as absolutely true and correct regarding religious or spiritual matters.

-- john (natlivent@pcpros.net), February 13, 2002.