The English Language : LUSENET : Country Families : One Thread

Received this from a friend today. Hope you all enjoy it, and that it doesn't get to messed up when it transfers to the forum.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there's no time like the present, he thought it time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quick-sand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your House can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the Lights are out, they are invisible. PS Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?

-- Rick (WV) (, January 25, 2002


Rick, that was sooooo funny! We had a German exchange student one year and she said that English is such a hard language to learn. I asked her why and she said one word can mean different things. Not to mention the slang, which she found really frustrating!

-- Annie (, January 25, 2002.

English may be very hard to learn, thats why 3 year olds can't communicate.(???!!!) Why is it the international language? Ship captains, pilots, public officals, diplomats all speak English because it can describe anything to the finest degree, a necessary ingrediant in world exchanges.

-- mitch hearn (, January 26, 2002.

English is one of the most precise because it has the largest vocabulary of all. A really great book on the King's language is Richard Lederer (sp?), The Miracle of Language (Pocket Books, Simon & Schuster, 1991).

-- Randal at home in Brazil (, January 26, 2002.

Too cool! That's why we are all so smart, we can figure out all of this stuff! I do think the younger you learn the easier it is. I tried to learn French in High School and I don't remember hardly anything now.

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (, January 26, 2002.

As the shopowner said to the signwriter "No No No, there should be more space between "Fish" and "AND" and "AND" and "CHIPS""

-- john hill (, January 26, 2002.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ