Gold, Common Sense and Fur - Story

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By Linda C. Stafford

My husband and I had been happily (most of the time) married for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby. I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that if he would give us a child, I would be a perfect mother, love it with all my heart and raise it with his word as my guide.

God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son. The next year God blessed us with another son. The following year, he blessed us with yet another son. The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty. We now had four children, and the oldest was only four years old.

I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it. As a minister once told me, "If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children each day as they lay in their cribs. I was off to a good start. God had entrusted me with four children and I didn't want to disappoint him.

I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks. I tried to be understanding when they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see how it felt to be a hot dog, I tried to see the humor rather than the mess.

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers, never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time, I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother - I didn't even come close - I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God.

I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going to church to worship God, and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to "wash up" Jesus, too.

Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life, and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."

My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant. My daughter was playing Mary, two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man. This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line, "We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes." But he was nervous and said, "The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes."

My four-year-old "Mary" said, "That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly. That's dirty, rotten clothes."

A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd and was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying, "Mama-mama." Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown, knelt at the manger and announced, "We are the three wise men, and we are bringing gifts of gold, common sense and fur."

The congregation dissolved into laughter, and the pageant got a standing ovation.

"I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one," Father Brian laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. "For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur."

"My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest blessing," I said as I dug through my purse for an aspirin.

-- chuck in md (woah@mission4me.com), January 22, 2002

Answers

Oh, aren't children funny! My grandson was learning the hymn "Go Tell It On The Mountain" for the church Christmas program. His mother caught him singing it exept he was singing "that Jesus lost his horn" at the end!

-- Ardie /WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), January 22, 2002.

I too wanted to be the perfect mother! Thank you God, for a sense of humor, because parenting is truly the toughest job in the world!!

That was splendid Chuck, post some more when you can...

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 22, 2002.


I'll never forget the Christmas program that one of my step sons---- has forever put memories in the minds of those who attended!!!

They all had little churches made out of paper & that had a stained glass window---as they sang their songs whey were suspose to shine their small penlight, flashlight through the stained glass window---- Well my step son got a little bored & shined the light up his nose & in the boy next to him's ear-----(bad thing was he was in the center of the front row as he was young & small)--so no one missed what he was doing-----now he heard some one laugh-----realizes they were laughing at him-----he really decided to entertain everyone--- now he drops his church & shines it down the front of his pants---- the more everyone laughed the more he preformed!!!!! I finally stood up & snapped my fingures at him---- he saw me---& then tells everyone in a very LOUD voice-(which continues to get louder as he talks)---I can't do that any more---- did you see my step Mom----??? I THINK SHE IS MAD!!!! Now the whole church is roaring!!!!!!!!!

I did let the child live!!!! He is grown --but he has no children yet- --But I can't wait!!!!!!!!!

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), January 22, 2002.


My wife worked most of the evening yesterday making some new pajamas for our four-year-old son, Mason. She let him pick out the material and he was SO EXCITED!

This morning he got up and went downstairs before we did, and when I got down there,he was wearing the pajama bottoms.....on his head! He thought it was the top, and when he tried to put it on, noticed that mom had forgotten a head-hole, so he remedied the situation by getting some scissors and making one. Connie was mortified, but he was too cute to be mad at....he's so resourceful, it's scary!

-- chuck in md (woah@mission4me.com), January 22, 2002.


Ok, all of you, enough! (Just kidding!) I'm already sore from working outside all day, and now you have me laughing until I have tears rolling down my cheeks. Kids do say the funniest things! Just when you think you have them trained--when my twins were about 5, and I was feeling lazy one day, and didn't have the house cleaned up, but wanted to go shopping, up the walk came the hometeachers from the church. I told the kids to be really quiet, we were playing a game and pretending not to be home. (I know, but I was young and stupid at the time!) When the knock came at the door, both children chimed loudly "Nobody's home!" I was so embarrassed! Jan

-- Jan in CO (Janice12@aol.com), January 22, 2002.


Chuck, I do hope you took a picture!

-- Lenette in oregon (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 24, 2002.

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