Lesley mentioned in another thread that along with the gentle nudges, occasionally we get a good whack over the head. This has happened to me a few times and I'd like to tell you about one of my experiences. Years ago I was in an abusive marriage and when I got out I was in desperate straits financially. I had just lost my job, had no money on hand, my soon to be ex had not only cleaned me out but left me deeply in debt, and I had 3 children, one of whom was a severe diabetic who had to be hospitalized monthly, incurring bills of $3,000 - $10,000 per month. Mainly because of pride, I refused to apply for "welfare". I was sure I could find another job, so while I searched, I sold nearly everything I owned to keep food on the table. I had even sold my bed, and my pastor urged me to apply for assistance, telling me it was meant for people in my position and not to be ashamed. Nevertheless, I was, and continued to be stubborn. I had prayed and prayed, asking God for help in finding a job (I was willing to take ANYTHING) but all I got was silence. I was really disappointed in God, and finally had no other choice but to go to the welfare office. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I burned with shame the entire time.

Afterwards as I was driving home, I became angry and started berating the Lord ("How could you DO this to me? I was counting on you and you let me down!") Now, I have never heard an "audible" voice from God, and this was no different, yet when I heard from him just then I had no problems thinking it might be my own idea.

"Turn at the next right and go apply for a job at the Humane Society."

?! That was a rather different message than I was used to getting from the Lord, so I ignored it.

"TURN AT THE NEXT RIGHT AND GO APPLY FOR A JOB AT THE HUMANE SOCIETY."

Um, ok Lord, first thing tomorrow morning.

"TURN! AT! THE! NEXT! RIGHT! AND! GO! APPLY! FOR! A ! JOB! AT! THE! HUMANE! SOCIETY!!! NOW!!!!" (I turned!)

I felt quite foolish as I walked into the Humane Society office and walked up to the counter. I asked if by any chance they were taking applications. THe director looked at me, puzzled. Didn't you see our ad in the paper? (I didn't get the paper.) This was their last day for taking applications. She interviewed me on the spot, and I got the job, which I dearly loved. I didn't make much money but it allowed me to be home a lot with my kids, it allowed me to continue to get help from the state to pay for my daughter's medical bills, and helped me keep my self respect while providing my kids with what they needed at the time. It was exactly what I needed at the time, but I'd have never listened without that "whack on the head", LOL.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 06, 2002