Christmas Greetings From Our Politically Correct Legal Department ;-)

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All we wanted to say was "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year".....

We ran it past the Legal Dept as per procedure and this is what came back.......

From me ("the Wishor") to you ("the Wishee")

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice,with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the Wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal. This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the Wishor are acknowledged. This greeting implies no promise by the Wishor to actually implement any of the wishes. This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain Wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wishor. This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The Wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

This greeting is made under Australian Law.

Best Wishes to All,

Peter Brown - Wilderness Images Gallery

-- Peter L Brown (photo_illustration@bigpond.com), December 19, 2001

Answers

I think they forgot what a soft ware specialist would add.

" The wishee agrees to the terms of this wish and by clicking on the accept button below agrees to be bound by this wish."

-- Ed (zeke@idirect.com), December 19, 2001.


I guess the contract is null and void in the Northern Hemisphere where it's the winter solstice. Have a happy whatever!

-- Dave Mueller (dmueller@bellatlantic.net), December 20, 2001.

Peter: Have not been able to determine to what extent Australian law has over Cristmas and New Year greeting originating in the U.S. Pending a determination from my attorney in the U.S., I wish to extend to you a tentative Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, subject to withdrawal on advice of said attorney.

Happy holidays "Down Under".

-- Doug Paramore (Dougmary@alaweb.com), December 20, 2001.


I suggest adding the following indemnification to protect the Wishor in the event the Wishee’s merriment exceeds legal limits or causes injury:

WISHEE agrees to indemnify WISHOR from, against, and in respect of, any and all losses, damages, liabilities, libels, suits, actions, expenses (including attorney’s fees) and proceedings arising from, or in connection with, any claim, complaint, suit, proceeding or cause of action against WISHOR alleging physical injury, including death, brought by, or on behalf of an injured party, and arising out of the negligence or willful malfeasance of WISHEE in execution of aforementioned holiday.

You can't be too careful. ;) Happy Holidays!

-- Richard Lingg (r_lingg@hotmail.com), December 20, 2001.


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