Thank you all so much for your responses. You made some very good points, and if you noticed, all ran along the same main and very important vein. So, I want to answer you all in one condensed letter (ha!).

First, about me and my family:

I am 30's year old, married mother of 2. My husband is 27 (Dave. We have a 16-month-old boy, and I have a coming7 year old daughter from a previous marriage. We live in Western Washington right now, south of Seattle by about (approx.) 50 miles as a crow flies. It is not exactly the city, but there are so many "city people" here anymore that it might as well be. Property is expensive, work is hard to get (isn't it everywhere?), and everyone is in such a rush all the time. Dave and I both hate it, and have very much always wanted to be homesteading. My daughter wants to live on a farm again so bad it drives us all crazy.

We are stuck in the renting game, and don't feel comfortable committing tremendous effort into something that we will have to leave eventually anyway. I have been through that too many times, it is as painful as leaving a child you love behind.

Right now, I am a professional horse trainer, basing my techniques on behavioral understanding of horses (who would have guessed?), and riding instructor. I am a leader of a 4-H club, so I guess if any of you thought I had a teenager, that’s probably where it comes from. Between my work and my club, I have 13 teenage girls (whew!)

As I had said, I grew up on a farm, a horse farm. I lived in a very isolated area; mom even had to take me 3 miles up the road to the bus stop for the first several school years. I have always been very connected to nature, animals, and simple living; it is part of who I am. I lived in the beautiful Siskiyou National Forest for a few years (Happy Camp, CA), and really got to experience the homesteading lifestyle first hand. I fell in love with it. We had a simple home, wood heated everything, gas stove, hydroelectric and solar power, gravity fed water system, a gorgeous garden, chickens, rabbits, dairy goats and horses. It was a challenge, but was so fulfilling!

We had 6 acres there, with 400 feet of riverfront on the Kalamath River. I knew a lady and her husband who were better set up than anyone I had ever even heard of before on less than an acre on the river. She was so self-sufficient, that the possibility of her husband losing his job at the lumber mill was not a real big problem, even though that town is 65 miles from anywhere.

I feel that we probably should have at least 5 acres, but we would take more. I like to graze my horses, and probably would reasonably have no more than 3. But if it meant getting started and being able to do what I want to so badly, I would take as little as 1 acre and stable my horses for now.

Dave wants what I do, but feels defeated before we start because of income, or lack of it rather. It has been hard for him to find work he likes that pays the bills. We are definitely in a very low-income bracket, especially with two kids. My credit was shot to begin with because of my past marriage, but has only gotten worse because of stupid mistakes we made, and Dave's business going under. We certainly have a lot of work to do before we can even entertain the idea of owning our own place.

Another thing is, Dave wants to join the Army, as a career. This scares me, not only for his safety, but mainly because we can't settle in this way any more than if we rented for the rest of our life. I need to settle down and get homesteading for my emotional health as well as my family.

Right now, we don't know of anyone, who shares our dream of homesteading, so we are really lost as to what we can expect, and how we can get started. I know what to do to run the place once we get going, but getting going is the hard part. Even if it was an e-mentor, we need someone to give us encouragement.

We have been subscribing to Countryside, and I have intended to start a journal, but I get so frustrated that it seems like I am dreaming an extremely far away, if at all reachable dream. I can't see the first step in front of me, so how am I to see the next? I am going to give it a try though, and try to stick it out even though it seems futile. I really want this lifestyle again.

Well hope this isn't too long and answers a few questions so that maybe I can get some more advise and encouragement from you. I really didn't expect such a warm welcome and eager response, and so didn't go into deep detail the first time around. Thank you again so much, and look forward to more exchanges....

Sincerely,

Kim Smith

-- Kim Smith (Equinebehaviorist@excite.com), November 14, 2001

Answers

Response to Thanks so much.... and more about myself

hi kim. the good news is that you have your husband showing interest too. there are ways to get started. we wanted it and after 6yrs of wanting we finally got the chance to get what we wanted. we were really scared at first. we were moving from secure jobs in the city and broke to no job in the country. even though things were very hard (we were down to our last $11 when we both got our jobs) we managed and are thankful that we made the move.

if credit is bad and no money i would suggest that maybe you look for a place with owner financing. this seems to work for lots of people.

good luck

-- george (bngcrview@aol.com), November 14, 2001.

Response to Thanks so much.... and more about myself

From one 4H leader, mother of two, owner and lover of horses (boy could we use your expertise right now!), and fellow Countrysider to another - Welcome to the Forum!

We sound like we are a lot alike! Broke, busy but happy!

-- Lisa in WI (lehman16NOSPAM@vbe.com), November 14, 2001.

Response to Thanks so much.... and more about myself

Ditto what Lisa said! By the way, she is my daughter and a very good friend of mine!

-- Ardie from WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), November 14, 2001.

Response to Thanks so much.... and more about myself

Kim - FIRST thing I would suggest is getting away from all those teen- age girls! No one should be exposed to so many giggly girls on a regular basis. Having raised one overwrought emotional bundle of hormones thro the teen years, I recommend limited exposure to these "humans". Just kidding - good luck. Happy Camp is a great little place - been there several times.

-- Daisy (shaferd@msn.com), November 14, 2001.

Response to Thanks so much.... and more about myself

Hi Kim,

I am just getting caught up on the forum, boy a lot sure does take place here between one week and the next! You say you are a horse trainer. What does your husband do? The possibilities are endless if you have practical skills where you can apply them in a country setting. I would think a logical approach would be to make the transition slowly, a step at a time. One thing out here (GA) is that there are lots of positions for a good horse trainer. Many big farms or stables will provide you rent free housing and a place to keep your horse as part of your salary. I am sure that there are places out west that would do the same. You get a salary, do what you love, and get paid too! You can then build your clientele through word of mouth and start looking for something suitable for yourself. With a good client list (and I know it might sound awful, but when you leave a farm, a lot of clients may want to leave with you as they like you or at least respect the way you train!) You can then approach the bank with evidence that you do have a waiting customer base - banks want to know HOW you intend to pay them back. That is exactly how I got my 32 acres which at the time did not have even a well, much less a barn or house. I drew up a business plan that showed the bank I could pay them back and how and I received the loan for the land, a 10 stall barn, riding arena and then purchased a mobile home seperately. Clients will come and go, but if you are good, you will have more than you can take. I had at one time two assistant instructors as we had forty students per month taking lessons and had boarded horses as well as horses in training. All that did not happen overnight, it took a few years, but let me tell you it was worth it. I closed my stable due to a combination of burnout and a tornado (I couldn't keep doing the seven day thing anymore and good help was so hard to find here, but it got me the land and the opportunity to have my own horses and now my jack. It is not an easy thing, but it can be done and when I started I was a single mother of two working a job part time and teaching lessons the rest of the time. If your husband can do handyman chores like fix fences, build jumps, etc. the two of you can advertise yourselves as a team. Lots of farms can't get good help and are glad to give you a place to live as part of the salary. Now I only have four years left to pay on my place and it is mine and it all started with a dream and a lot of effort. You could do the same or something similiar to get your dream. Good luck Cindy

-- Cindy (colawson@mindspring.com), November 14, 2001.

Response to Thanks so much.... and more about myself

Hi Kim!

Thanks for elaborating and sharing your situation. We too live in the Seattle area. We have managed to buy 13 acres and a very old mobile home. Not heaven but livable. We have a lot of work ahead of us but are up to the challenge. From your description, you are in my mind half way there because you have the desire and skills for the task ahead. I would encourage you to sit down as a family and discuss your dreams and then have everyone list their expectaions on a piece of paper. With a solid goal on paper, it is often easier to work towards it. Next list all the assests you have as a family for reaching your objective. Example, you are a horse trainer, riding instructor and 4-H leader. How about Dave? What does he bring and the daughter? Is she capeable of helping with chores? Next do a comprehensive study of your finances. Make a list of needs and wants and go over everything carefully. Find out where you can save $$ and then start saving for that downpayment. Do you need more horses to train or riders? Have you advertized at local feedstores and supermarkets for your skills? Most of those places will let you advertize for free! If your dream is true and you work dillegently at it, it will come. If you would like to talk to us or get together, E- mail me directly and we will help all we can! Darlene

-- Darlene in W WA (tomdarsavy@cs.com), November 14, 2001.

You and Dave have a good skill base and should do well in the country. My wife Lee Ann is a horse trainer and instructor so knows most of the barn owners in our area east of Cincinnati. Horse operations here generally are desperate for good help, and homesteading land is available for reasonable cost in Brown and Adams county. Missouri is nice, but if you start looking in Ohio let us know and we may be able to help.

-- scott mcalpine (scottmcalpine@juno.com), November 15, 2001.

Kim, you said David has worked (qualified, obviously) as EMT, and functioned as volunteer fireman? That could probably get him a paid job in some rural city, or even town, in those roles. With that training (and hopefully with written references from people he's worked with/for) he might even be able to get into police forces (or traineeships) in smaller areas. That might fit with his feelings for a military-type situation. Why don't you look into the avenues of employment in those areas; and at the same time look into the places (taxes, land prices, climate, whatever) you' prefer to live? Do a short list of say ten or fifteen areas you'd like to live. If there aren't employment opportunities for him where you want to live, then he could take a job in an area which isn't quite as good, to build up experience. When the time comes that you can move, either you'll be happy where you are, or you'll be in a better bargaining position to get something where you want to live.

Use the time in the interim to KILL your debt. ATTACK the shortest term, highest interest debts (probably credit-card) first; then intermediate (likely consumer-credit - say, motor vehicle) next. Be debt-free. The only debt worth taking on is for land, and when the time arises you should take that for the maximum possible period (so that if you lose jobs then the required payments are as low as possible); but then pay it off in the minimum possible period so that as little as possible of your money is burned up in interest payments.

I personally have left things far longer than I should have, but I'm on track now. Not doing things as quickly as I'd wish, but I'm out of debt, and I'm saving. I'll probably pay cash for a vehicle (old one died, and it wasn't worth resuscitating after I got back to work from sickness). That will then give me freedom to buy property where I wish. Alternatively, as the savings accumulate, it may be more worth while to buy at first so close to work that I don't need a vehicle. If you're debt-free, with savings, you're FREE and you've got options. If you're not debt-FREE then you're a prisoner - a slave.

P.S. I know you know this - I'm writing for the other reader who may not.

-- Don Armstrong (darmst@yahoo.com.au), November 15, 2001.

Are you near tacoma? we have a house there, does your husband have any carpetry skills?

-- kathy h (ckhart55@earthlink.net), November 15, 2001.

One thing I would highly recommend is to just start doing some of your homesteading dreams, whatever pieces you can manage now. Because if you don't start somewhere, the whole thing will become overwhelming and you will think you can never start and then it will become an overwhelming source of frustration for you. Also, my experience in life has been that sometimes those big dreams I have had really weren't what I wanted after I tried them. Had I never jumped in and tried them, I would have spent my life regretting that I never did it and yet it really was not that big a deal after I tried it. My philosophy in life is always to pursue my dreams because if nothing else, I will have no regrets. I can honestly say that at age 48 I have no regrets (certainly would have made some different decisions had I a chance to do it over but I don't regret anything). I still have some dreams I am pursuing and I'm sure I will forever add new ones, but I don't have any that I have been holding onto for years dying to try but never doing so. It has given me great contentment with my life.

-- Colleen (pyramidgreatdanes@erols.com), November 15, 2001.