Out of the mouths of babes (or kids)

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Every once in awhile, I'll think of something funny that one of the kids or grandkids have said, and just laugh out loud. Here's one--(have lots more!). When our second son was 3 yrs old we visited Washington DC. At the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, at the changing of the guard, when it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, here comes this piping little voice from Dale, eyes scrunched shut, fingers in ears "Dad, when are they gonna shoot them guns!?" The crowd broke up, the soldiers didn't bat an eye, crack a smile, or miss a step, but I'll bet they were about to bust inside. We tried hard to be invisible.

-- gibson girl (bobtravous@email.com), November 12, 2001

Answers

Just the other morning, I woke up to find my son had woke up in the middle of the night, came downstairs and slept by the fire. I asked him why he was sleeping downstairs instead of in his bed. His reply was that there were dinosaurs in his room. Now he loves dinosaurs, has LOTS of them and often plays pretend with them, so I humored him. I told him that I bet there was still plenty of room in his bedroom and in his bed even with the dinosaurs in there. His reply? "But I can't sleep up there, the dinosaurs are snoring!"

He is always coming up with stuff like this - he's such a clown.

When my DD was in preschool, they took a trip on the city bus. A gentlemen, trying to be friendly with all the children, asked her how many fingers she had. She looked at him, looked at her hands and replied, "All of them."

-- Lisa in WI (lehman16NOSPAM@vbe.com), November 13, 2001.


When my little girl, Amelia, was about 3 years old a friend of hers was telling how she was going to be a flower girl in her sister's wedding. Not one to be out-done, Amelia pipes up and says "Well, I'm going to be a TREE girl in my Nana's wedding". Tree girl? Her Nana wasn't getting married!

-- Jo (mamamia2kids@msn.com), November 13, 2001.

My son got married this summer and my girlfrieds little boy was the ring beirer. Well we went out looking for dress shoes and never did find any so the next day we hit a town over. After trying on a few pairs he let out his breath real hard and said I don't know why you are so worried about the shoes for! We ask him what he ment by that. He said bears don't were shoes LOL he thought he was going to be in a bear suit bringing the rings up the isle LOL.

-- Teresa (c3ranch@socket.net), November 13, 2001.

My kids and I were talking about subjects we enjoyed in school. I said I liked history but I didn't get to learn about it as much as they did. (Thier school has an active history club) My daughter thought about it a second and then she said-"Well, I guess there wasn't that much history yet when you were little!"

-- kelly saderholm (ksaderholm@yahoo.com), November 13, 2001.

My son(5years)spent the day with a little girl friend the other day. He said he had to play house all day and that she kept talking on the "celery" all day. I kept asking if we could get one. Finially I had him show me what it was he thought we need-A "Celery"Phone(cell phone)! Now I ask my friend if she has her celery phone!

-- Micheale from SE Kansas (mbfrye@totelcsi.net), November 13, 2001.


The other day, on the way to church, Ben (age 5) made this announcement: "Santa Claus is dead. He got stuck in a chimbly." Later, he was reciting a Bible verse: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only forgotten Son..."

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), November 13, 2001.

I was teaching my 3-5 year old Sunday school class the song, "Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see." The other verses include "ears...hear", "mouth...say", etc. After Sunday school Abby (age 3) went to use the restroom. She starting singing, "Oh, be careful little toilet, how you stink"!!!

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), November 13, 2001.

As some of you may know I've worked with and around trucks and heavy equipment for years. Of course, one of the first things I tried to instill in my children was respect for and safety around such things. Needless to say, anytime either of them would hear that obnoxious 'beep... beep... beep...' they would loudly tell everyone (especially their sibling) that something was backing up and to be careful. I thought it was a good way for them to be aware.

About the time my son was four or five we were out at the local mall and we had stopped at the food court for lunch. As we're in line I can't help but notice his wide-eyed amazement at the girth of the woman in line in front of us. I don't think he'd ever seen anyone that stout before in his life.

Any parent can relate to what I was thinking at that moment ("Please don't let him say anything!"). Well, the line moved on and she places her order. Just as I think a potentially embarrassing moment has been avoided because she's getting her order her pager on her purse sounds.

"Look out, Dad! She's backin' up!" with an earnest tug on my arm to pull me from harm's way.

I followed his lead, kept on moving and never looked back. The only upside to this was I later told this story to a friend who is a writer who submitted it to Reader's Digest who published it. I still have a framed copy of it.

-- Gary in Indiana (gk6854@aol.com), November 13, 2001.


On the way to town one day, our 4 yr old grand-daughter was chattering about any and everything. She announced "At Jack and Jill (the pre-school she attended) I had to learn my name and phone number, 'case I get lost." I thought I'd check if she still remembered, so I said, "Magen, what is your phone number?" Her immediate reply--"Gramma, I'm not lost!"

It was difficult to understand everything our other grand-daughter said until she was about 4 yrs. old. One day she saw a little girl about her age and became very excited, trying to tell me the girl's name. Since I didn't know the people I didn't have a clue. About the third time that I asked "Ashley, what is her name?" she told me with disgust "She ain't got no name!" Turns out the name was Veronica, pretty difficult for a learning talker.

-- gibson girl (bobtravous@email.com), November 13, 2001.


My kids were always saying things in public which although hilarious would not be appropriate for this forum..I was always mortified! In the first grade, my oldest daughter's class was instructed to draw a picture of a bird....when we wentto the open house, all the other children's pictures were of robins in the nest, singing canaries, etc...Amy's picture was of two jet black mountain peaks with jagged edges..a tiny bird was falling upside down inbetween them and saying 'ARGHHHHHH"....when we asked her where in earth she came up with this idea she replied that she wanted her picture to be "different"..I was afraid someone would call social services and investigate the family. Second child somehow got the meanings of "throwing up" and urinating mixed up at age 3..it made for great outings and family get togethers...he also was the one who informed me that his friends' mother watched the soap opera "The Young and the rest of us"......I miss those days!

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), November 13, 2001.


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