forum : LUSENET : Country Families : One Thread

I just wanted to let everyone know that I realize sometmes things will be posted that you all don't agree with, and even things I don't agree with. Some things need deleted as soon as possibl, either because they offend someone, or they just aren't appropriate for the content of the forum.

That said, please remember two things!!! I have another life besides sitting in front of this computer!!! Believe it or not, I really do. So sometimes I might only check in early in the morning, or late at night. If I am home I will check in at lunch-time, but not always.

On a thread I just deleted, I was being gently rebuked for allowing a thread to stay on. I did check on this thread once and there were a few responses, however when I checked in later the atmosphere seemed to be degenerating, and that is when I deleted it.

I can't sit here all day and make sure that everything is going OK!!! I do the best I can, and make the judgment based on what I see.

Another problem I have, is that my computer is slow... sometimes responses don't show up for a while, even my own will sometimes be an hour or two to show up. So you may be seeing things before I even do. Sometimes I post a question and there are answers on my e-mail before the question even shows up on my screen.

OK, so I hope you will all understand, that while I try to check in often, I have many responsibilities I must see to.

Just think, Mitch was commenting that no one ever dis-agreed around here...

Try to remember that what you post in a "negative" manner could possibly hurt someone else's feelings. I personally have been hurt recently as well, by some remarks that were made to me by e-mail, and even on a thread. It is hard, but I try to look at all of the POSITIVE good things that I like about all of you, and just try to ignore the bad. Melissa

-- Melissa (, November 01, 2001


Melissa, I'm sure that most of us know that you are doing the best job you can and we know that you do have "another life" and can't just live your life totally in front of the computer. Keep up the good work.

-- Janet in Kansas (, November 01, 2001.

Jeez, Melissa, where are your PRIORITIES?!?!? Just kidding! I think you're doing a fabulous job, and I really appreciate all the effort you put into this forum. I think it's just great, and so are you!

-- Cheryl in KS (, November 01, 2001.

Melissa, I really appreciate the hard work you put into this forum. Thanks a whole bunch!!! I guess what frustrates me is that e-mail is, as Mitch said, sterile. One cannot see facial expressions, or hear tone of voice, or read body language. I need to remember this when I post! I am really sorry for any offense I have caused.

-- Cathy N. (, November 01, 2001.

thank you for removing that thread. It wasn't the most positive post and it was hurting some peoples feelings. By the way, you're doing a great job. If I ever spot a post that isn't in good taste, I'll email you as I do to Ken from Countryside. God bless!

-- Ardie from you know where! (, November 01, 2001.

Melissa, you are doing a great job with this forum and we all know you have another life! I don't know how you even keep up with this forum at all with children and all that you do. I do appreciate all that you do and everyone on this forum for trying to keep it such a good forum. If ever I say anything offensive, please let me know.

-- Barb in Ky. (, November 01, 2001.

Melissa, Your doing a fine job. Keep up the good work. Denise

-- Denise K. (, November 01, 2001.

I posted on a topic that is no longer here-I suppose thats the one you are refering to-though it seemed that everything was cool then- this has been some hours ago. If anything I said was offensive, I'm sorry-y'all can always e-mail me if you feel that I've been offensive or anything.

-- Kelly in Ky (, November 01, 2001.

I really thank you all for these kind words today. I just don't think anyone who hasn't done this can begin to imagine the anxiety it can cause!!

The biggest surprise was the e-mail, it isn't just what you see on the forum, there are dozens of e-mails besides. Most are just nice notes about how much people are enjoying themselves. These are great!!!

But the others are peoples troubles with their health, their families, with their finances. Now don't get me wrong, I really want to help people, but it makes my heart heavy to read about everyone's troubles, and know that there is little you can do besides send some helpful advice and prayers their way.

I had one person wanting to confess their sins, because they were burdened in their heart and felt I was a nice person! Another said he was trying to escape from a foreign country and was under persecution...??

Then there is the criticism: how I am raising my kids, how deficient in vitamins and minerals our diet is (this from reading a few of our meals out of 365 suppers a year!!) Tonight I think I am going to bake a chocolate cake with thick icing, and just let everyone eat it out of the pan, with MILK of course!!! I guess you just can't please everyone...

I have been criticized for eating too much meat, not enough meat, for lacking calcium in the diet, for letting my kids ride horses and get hurt... Oh I just can't even remember them all!!

It is almost funny, since these people have never even met me and really know very little...

I told someone today (by e-mail) that I am ready to delete the whole thing and just go clean out the horse stalls. I must really be crazy to open myself up to all of this!!!

But then I remember the fun stumpers, and Mitch's kind responses, and talking about books, and stories, and children and I think I will stay around. But really sometimes I think people are expecting a lot from me...

-- Melissa (, November 01, 2001.

Geez, Melissa, I can't believe people are sending you private emails with their troubles. People can be so stupid sometimes. Maybe you shouldn't give out your email address on here. Can you change the one you have and use a fake? I would sure consider it. You don't deserve all that. God bless you.

-- Barb in Ky. (, November 01, 2001.

Geesh! I already contacted Melissa privately and I hope that she is understanding that people who criticize are trying to feel better about themselves. When they are looking at Melissa "so called" faults, they don't have to look at their own. I actually laughed at what these so-called experts said about her food and parenting skills. It was so pitiful that it was dare they! Remember folks, that when you are pointing the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing right back at you! Now, lets get back to having a good time and let's put this all behind us.

-- Ardie/WI (, November 01, 2001.

I would not normally enter this type of thread but I can smell the smoke comming out of my moniter and since my name has been bounced around here I feel I should enter. First of all I am not this forums messiah; I am just one of the few men who can transfer his thoughts and feelings into words. I am a reserved person and a hermit mostly, so when I get around other people their actions and inter actions with others is very noticeable. I do not see the nastyness here that is so common elsewhere and that is refreshing. The only thing I see wrong is the "puppies playing keep away with the ball" way the posters do to the consept of threadaquette (You heard that word here first). One writer will place a thought about something,say; cooking a steak; by the time it gets to the tenth post the subject will be Ph factors of a compost pile, that something we all need to work on. Keep the thinking connected, thats all.

Melissa, with your schedual including volenteerwork, teaching, raising a family, being a wife, housekeeping, cooking, and running a forum you may be like that burro in the fable, but with two bricks too many. It seems that this forum could be self goverening, if some one step out of line others here would be quick to point it out. Ken, over at CS took two weeks of self time and CS did not collapse. With todays demands being so intense, your not leaving enough time to be yourself....and if someone does not like, smile and walk away knowing that it is their loss not yours.

-- mitch hearn (, November 01, 2001.

Mitch, consider yourself hugged! We all need a pal like you!

-- Ardie/WI (, November 01, 2001.

lol Okay, okay. What'd I miss? lol I'm new here and haven't a clue as to what ya'll are talking about. If I accidently stumbled into whatever the offending post was and posted something and offended anyone, please know that I don't have a mean bone in my body. If I hurt anyone it is truly an accident and I'm sorry. But now you guys have me curious. lol Iris

-- Iris (, November 01, 2001.

Iris, today I wa at the doctors office and I did not see what happen here; it appears that there was a post about religion that got out of control and it all got dumped. This forum accepts religious input, but does not accept it being stuffed down our throats; the goals here are civil communication about life , families, subjects in general; I do not know what was said but it was enough to upset this forum to the point that the controller was ready to dump this entire thing. Set back and watch, see if you want to fit here......

-- mitch hearn (, November 01, 2001.

Mitch, Thanks for the info. I've always prided myself in not being a "fit" for any particular place. It makes for an interesting life. I'm very independent and dislike being forced to do anything. Respect for others' beliefs is a very high concern of mine. So, as long as that's the sense of this realm, we should all get along fine. I predict that will be so, since everyone here seems to simply want to communicate facts and friendship. Sounds like a good thing to me. Momma always told me not to talk about religion, sex, politics, and women's weight in public. I've sometimes followed her advice. I keep women's weight a secret. lol However, I, like others, have opinions regarding these topics. But the number one rule I've set up for myself is to do all in love. So, hurting others with my words aren't in to deal for me. Thanks again. Iris

-- Iris (, November 01, 2001.

Thanks melissa for all the effort put into this, sometimes teens are being told to not use so much time on the net, in fear of "wasting time", but she hasn't warned me against it for a while. =)

-- jillian (, November 02, 2001.

Melissa Please don't even receive the criticisms. They don't have a life. Monitor the forum as best you can, and let it go. If need be, you could pursue appointing Mitch, and or whosoever you might want to co-monitor the threads to make sure it is observed at closer intervals. Otherwise, enjoy your family and your independence.

-- rick K (, November 02, 2001.

Melissa,Haven't seen you post everything OK????Miss all the questions.

-- Jo (, November 02, 2001.

Everything is fine, Jo. I posted some new things here today. Just decided to take a one day reprive from the whole computer thing!

Kids have decided that they will start eating a little grass each day, as it is "green" and "leafy" and the lettuce (home-grown, organic, 4-5 types mixed together)we have for dinner each night isn't!!! (evidently...) HA HA!! We still do have our sense of humor!!!!

It is educational at least to see how many differnt kinds of people and reactions there are in this world. I have been a person who has faced very little criticism in my life, and most generally have a pretty happy, optimistic out-look on the world. I have never been personally criticized so much in my whole life as I have these past few weeks!!! Most people who meet me LIKE me!!

I guess it really hurts when people say things about how you feed or raise your children, especially when you think you are doing a pretty decent job. My family really is very important to me. I just have a hard time understanding people who will criticize, for instance, the food you feed your family, when they have seen an extremely small sampling of a couple of meals. It is unbelievable to me, and I would never do this to another person myself. I feel the best way to teach someone is by example from your own life.

I contribute to many charitable organizations, and Friday I received a letter that really made me think. There are 35,000 children dying each day as a result of starvation, un-clean drinking water, and preventable childhood diseases. This figure is ASTOUNDING, to me, and makes me feel my "problems" are very small and insignificant. Really what blessings we truly have.

It makes me ashamed to have even written what I did earlier. I mean what difference does it make, what people think???? I know what kind of person I am, and what kind of people my children are. I know what kind of life I am striving to live. My family is happy, healthy, and busy. My children are very good, willing to help others, they are all excellent students: 3 of them have never had a "B" in their school careers. The other one is always on the honor roll (struggles with spanish though!!!!) I am doing more right than wrong, and if we want to eat a cheeseburger once in a while, BIG DEAL!!!!!

It is a problem of mine to want to achieve some kind of perfect person personna (thanks Mitch, you have been more help to me than you can ever realize...). I told my Mom yesterday, I am tired of trying to be the perfect person!!!! I really need to learn how to let go once in awhile. Life is short, live it fully, don't worry about what people think, people will believe what they want, and the truth is always known eventually. Lessons I am teaching myself...

Thanks to you all, I really appreciate your kind words and thoughts, and guess what I have had no e-mails today!!! Usually I have at least 10 or 12 a day. So that has been nice at least. I am not going to be spending as much time here as before. I have a lot of thinking and learning to do, so play nice, have fun, be fair.

-- Melissa (, November 03, 2001.

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