How are your kids doing with everything that is happening? I was listening to the news this morning and they were asking local peole if they felt safe. Lindsey (10) says, "I don't feel safe any more, ever. When I'm at school and we are at recess and we see a plane go by, we all think it will drop a bomb or something. You know someone could bring one into our school and blow up the whole place."

I know all my children are upset about the loss of their feeling of safety on a day to day basis. There is this mall bomb scare, some of their family and friends work there, so they hope nothing happens there.

I think they are a little more wary, a little more suspicious than they ever were before. It is certainly a sad time for our country.

We were talking at the table the other night and one of them made the remark, that THIS IS NORMAL NOW. We will not re-gain the innocence we once had.

I am one of those people who looks for good in everything, I always assume that people will so the right thing, and that people don't mean to hurt each other. But now I know a little better.

-- Melissa (cmnorris@1st.net), October 30, 2001

Answers

I don't have small children at home anymore but I can remember as a child myself (eons ago!) worrying about "the bomb" and wondering every time a plane flew over if it carried one. I always kept everything to myself which was not good. What has taken place over the past few weeks is bound to have an effect on children and I think one of the best things to do is just what you are doing. Be open and talk about it. Also pray together and let them know God is in control. Even we adults need to remember that! By the way Melissa, I have a grandaughter named Lindsey who will be 10 in Feb.! I know she is having anxieties about all this as she is a worrier to begin with (like her grandmother!) I've had to learn to give it to the Lord and I hope she will learn that too.

-- Barb in Ky. (bjconthefarm@yahoo.com), October 30, 2001.

I've tried to reassure my children, but it's difficult to tell them that they are safe and don't need to worry, when I'm not sure if that's the truth or not. My 4 year old asks me every morning if the war is over yet. It's a difficult time.

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), October 30, 2001.

We talk of the war events often and watch the news every morning, so my kids are fully aware of what is going on. We homeschool, so I don't have that particular situation to deal with. We live in an area where military planes fly over so I say a small prayer for the guys flying overhead. As far as helping my children cope with fears, I try to model calm and reason. And since I am not the perfect example, I point to the promises of Scripture: Romans 6:3-5 "Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection." and Romans 14:8 "For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore if we live or die, we are the Lord's." These scriptures, among many others, have been a great comfort to our family.

-- Jo (mamamia2kids@msn.com), October 30, 2001.

I agree that children should be told. It is part of teaching them how to survive. Just keep calm about it and they won't get so worried. Talk to them often and let them know the chances are VERY low, but it is good to be ready, just in case. For Y2k we let the kids make their own lists of what they would stock up. We "played" with different ideas, like not using the power one night and just using oil lamps, etc. It makes them feel more secure if they can see you plan and help with it. It also makes it easier if you really lose power. "We have done this before" type of thing. They thought the power going off last winter was a fun thing! Now I tell them they cannot collect the mail, (we just got a magazine from Washington, D.C. today) and that type of teaching.

-- notnow (notnow05@yahoo.com), October 30, 2001.

My son is 5 and was watching the new with me when it came across.I have been real careful on what he watches or listens to concerning the bombings and the war. For the first two weeks, he wouldn't sleep in his own bed.I knew it had something to due with New York, but he finially told me he thought Bin Laudin(spelling?) might try and come and get him. It is so hard to reasure him when fighter jets go by 5-8 times daily now and our land has on it's boarder a major pipeline so it is being monitored by air also. The other day they flew so low they made the evergreen sway. My son dove for cover screeming that we were at war. I have set down and talked and explained everything to him so maybe he could understand,but he still talks about it constently and now doesn't want me to get the mail.I have turned off the T.V. movies only and we don't talk about it in front of him.From the start he's heard just enough to worry him. Now I am at a loss on how much to tell.Anybody have any suggestions?

-- Micheale from SE Kansas (mbfrye@totelcsi.net), October 30, 2001.

It is hard to know how much to say. I always tell my kids the 100% truth. It is just the way I have always done with them about everything and it seems to still work. Yes, they might get upset, but I think it is better for them to hear it from me in a rational way. Believe me at school they hear a lot of rumors, so I try to give them the right information as far as I can.

-- Melissa (me@home.net), October 30, 2001.

We don't have outside TV programming so my youngest children were spared the continuous loop of horror that was played for days. I've kept the radio monkey chatter turned off, too. They did see photographs and read/listen the news articles.

My youngest just understands we are doing things differently now and paying attention to Mom and Dad is very important.

For my middle child, regular studies were interrupted for Current Events, Modern American and World History and Geography. She understands fully that walking with God as a family, we are safe.

My oldest, 16, I don't think she is coping well at all. She watched the whole thing on tv and told me she was so glad that the younger kids didn't have to see that. She will not talk about it. "It does not affect me and I am getting on with my life!" She did not take it well that I am not taking her dance team to Disneyland as planned and I don't think San Fransisco is such a hot idea either!

-- Laura (LadybugWrangler@hotmail.com), October 30, 2001.

You know, at first I didn't think my kids were affected by it-they are still kind of young-7 and 10 and we don't watch tv and we talked about it a little but not a lot. But latley, my 10 year old son has been "acting out" a little-nothing big-just grouchy, picking at his siter- more "mouthy" than uasual, he's been asking me to sit with him at night-something he hasn't done in a long time-I wonder if this hasn't affected him more than he's letting on.....I'm glad you brought this up.

-- kelly in Ky (ksaderholm@yahoo.com), October 31, 2001.

Do any of you have parents/relatives/friends who remember WW2? Talk to them about this. See how they were affected as children. There is a Dutch couple in our church who saw WW2 as children in Holland. The husband's older brother was involved in the Dutch resistance; the wife's family had a "hiding place" in the hay barn. Canada received children that were being evacuated from London during the Blitz. American children did not suffer so much, maybe, but many American soldiers had little brothers and sisters. Even if you don't home school, get your children with some of these older people and combine history with a talk of today's fears. It might help the children see that these other children grew up fine and that "this too shall pass".

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), October 31, 2001.

Hi, My boys and I were alone that morning watching and scared. They are 5, 7, 9. They have heard their father and I talking the last few days. My husband is a police officer and they are on "the highest Alert" status. We DON"T know what that means! You know, just function normally. So I was outside with the boys yesterday and we were carving some pumpkins, it was so warm and the sun was shining so beautifully. My middle son asked me if we were in for some trouble with the war. I stopped what I was doing and just sat there, I told them all that whatever happened to us in this life and in this world, I just wanted them to stop what they were doing and feel the love that we all have for each other. I told them that I loved them more than anything and how much happiness they have brought to my life. And then I told them if I died today, I would die the most happiest woman in the world. They cried and said they were the happiest too and that we had a great life here and they would stop worrying. It was a turning point for my boys, it seemed they didn't fight all day and I saw them later in the day helping each other and not picking at each other. I won't let so much time go by before I tell them just what they have brought to me. It really made a difference to them. Sorry so long, ~Karole

-- Karole (Biz3boymom@aol.com), November 01, 2001.

I feel safe. Not as safe as I used to feel. There are always threats going on here ware I live. We have bomb drills at school fire drills and all the other normal drills. All the terrorist attacks have just brought us all close together. It brought us all back to reality that things happen. Something’s bad some good, some that we can control something’s that we can just hope for the best. Keep the teens informed if something does happen the teens can help the littler kids out understanding things and keeping them under control. Help them stop being so scared to even go downtown in bigger cities. I think if any one can help the little kids out though all this it the teens. Littler kids kind of look up to us if were under control then maybe they will get under control or a little more under control. During the event of September 11th some of the kids in my class were scarred or worried. My friend and I did what we could to help them feel safer. One of my friends and I watched the news all day we even gave up lunch to stay in class and watch the news. After school I went out on my bike to the bike shop were I like to help out at. Helped out and watched the news. Some people would think oh I making this up teens like to go and goof around with friends and don't care about the news. For three school days after September 11th we sat in a cercal and talked. And talked, we never got board every on in my class was involved in the conversation. All we have to do is live our life. If we all just live the life we have there is nothing to worry about. Go ahead go on trips. Go to work live your lives. That is all we have to do. That’s what I’m going to say because I could type ten pages on this subject. But then people wouldn’t read and my point wouldn't get across. Sincerely Devin Nee

-- Devin Nee [age 14] (madcow577@hotmail.com), November 26, 2001.