Oh man oh man oh man. Just read this at TB2000. This is so damn funny I can't stand it. Guess what? It's not a joke...

* ~*~ * ~*~ * ~*~ Help Me!!I Have Recieved Suspicious Mail OK Here is what happened.. I know that the bad mail has been coming with no return address or fake return adresses...so I figured.. what is the best way to get someone to open the mail... make the return address credible..of course

so I got a mail with the US government as the return adress..so right away I knew something was fishy

I followed the advice I read on the board here and went for the spagetti tongs and playtex gloes and got the letter and put it into a freezer sip lock while I warmed up the steam iron to high heat cottons....I didn't want to contaminate the iron board so I ironde it on the porcelean stove on high heat...before I knew it the letter was begining to smoke a little and I acedentally breathed some of the smoke fumes so I screwed the new filter onto the isreali gas mask I bought on e-bay..this was working good but the while ironing the other side the letter really started smoking bad so I went and got the spray bottle of clorox of a 5 to one soulution and sprayed the letter down good and heavy with the soulution...after this I realized it was really pretty wet so off it went to the micro wave oven to dry....I put it in there on high for 10 minutes and it seemed like I could even smell the bleach fumes through the gas mask...are you supposed to be able to do that???

anyway when the letter was dry I placed it into the cardboard box you guys told me to make with the seran wrap over the top with the two holes in the sides to o0pen it with my yellow playtex gloves on safely with the tongs and a sharp knife...well after I got it slit open and pulled it out with the tongs and read it through the seran wrap it was my wifes paycheck from the military and now it is about half blank from the clorox and you can't see how much it was for anymore

my wife comes home in 4 hours and I need some of yaalls expertism on how to make the ink come back again..I have already tried lemon juce on it but it doesn't seem to be working

my wife is already mad at me for spending most all of my day on the computer here and is getting sick of all the duct tape on the windows and stuff and I feel like I am really gonna be in trouble for this one

-- (Yikes@lol.lol), October 19, 2001

Answers

OMG! That is HILARIOUS! (Probably not to him or his wife, but it was to me.) Thanks!

-- Leslie Gore (It's@my.party), October 19, 2001.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bout a funny as rich taking it in the ass.

-- (Rich@takes.10inches+), October 19, 2001.

I'm pretty sure it was meant as a joke.

-- (me@myself.i), October 19, 2001.

You're wrong as usual.

-- (Elizaveta @Fedorovna .Litvinova (1845-1919)), October 19, 2001.

Okay. I took a walk over there to find it. link Either the guy posting that is totally serious, or the guy posting that is Poole. That's the funniest damn thing I've read in a long time. Might be time to start watching the doomzies again. They haven't been this much fun since, oh, about 12/31/99. Believe it or not I actually found the Siamese Twin Merchants of Death getting advice about how to perform an exorcism on a patient.

-- Ancient Lurker (sniffing@the.bunker), October 19, 2001.

I've been watching pretty regular now for the last week or so. The place is a veritable classroom for those wanting to learn about conspiracy theory pshycology and paranoid behavior.

The best thread was last week when someone posted that a friend in the military or state department or something had told him that something very serious was going to happen within the next twenty- four hours. You should have seen the posts as everyone got ready to bug out. I think some even packed their cars up. Twenty-four hours later nothing had happened and everyone just thanked the guy for giving them a rush of adrenaline and went back to their normal conspiracy threads. It was really kind of weird but amusing. I know I shouldn't laugh at other people's beliefs but this was just too much.

Seriously though, I have learned more about collodial silver (there is not much it will not take care of), oil of oregeno, lavendar oil, etc. than I ever thought I would know. If you do happen to be browsing over there try to find the thread about what to do with bin Laden if he is captured. Quite funny, they really have some creative people over there.

-- Jack Booted Thug (governmentconspiracy@NWO.com), October 19, 2001.

Come on, JBT, you KNOW you had your bug-out bag ready.

-- (me@myself.i), October 19, 2001.

Hell, I sleep with mine!

-- (paranoids@re.us), October 19, 2001.

paranoids, That's no way to talk about one's significant other.

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), October 19, 2001.