Joke : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread

Subject: here piggy, piggy >An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought the Islamic >terrorist attacks by burying the criminals with a pig. Apparently the >Islamic belief is that if ones' body is buried with a pig (because they >are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell. I did a little research >into this subject matter and found it to be true. This got me thinking. If >we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell. >Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan I think our recon and assault efforts may be more successful. >Apparently Muslims dislike the very site of pigs A LOT! They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few thousand gallons of moonshine, get them shit-faced and turn the pigs loose. The war would be over in a weekend. > > > Just a thought. >

-- Ardie from Wi (, October 03, 2001



Almost like sending women with bad PMS to the front lines.

I liked you thought.

-- Cordy (, October 03, 2001.

Is there a "good PMS"?

-- Not (, October 03, 2001.

Hey Ardie, it would be a shame to waste thousands of gallons of moonshine when one drum of bacon fat would do the same thing except for the buzz. Back up and read Biological Warfare Organicly which I posted yesterday on the same subject.

-- mitch hearn (, October 03, 2001.

I think we should combine our forces, and infest the Taliban with drunken sows with PMS. What do you think???

-- Cheryl in KS (, October 03, 2001.

Why not just dump a bunch of old, fat, drunk women on them?

-- Joe (, October 03, 2001.

And where are we going to find these drunken fat women, Joe???

-- Ardie (, October 03, 2001.

How about an Arkansas Razorbacks Parachute Corp? Motto: "Hit the Ground a Grunting".

Seriously, can an Islamic kill a pig without consequences to their soul or something?

-- Ken WC TN (, October 03, 2001.

Bacon Brigade

I know a few hillbillys that would donate 50 or so gallons of the shine. :o)

-- K & S (, October 03, 2001.

Thanks for the laugh.

-- Patty {NY State} (, October 03, 2001.

Can we not find it in our hearts not be to mean. These men were trained from birth, brain washed, to do what they did. Evil, yes, but no less evil than a woman from Texas drowning her 5 children in a bath tub. No less evil than Chandra Levy, the Ramsey child or thousands of other young men/women and children who disappear in THIS COUNTRY every YEAR! Oh, forgot about those did ya? One of our own don't count? Free white and free white. Just don't be 'anything else'. Timothy McVhee rocked our world to the core with the Oklahoma City Bombing, I didn't see any jokes about being a white/blonde/blue eyed American and mid-western. Get your own ducks in a row, before you knock anyone elses.

-- Kathy (, October 03, 2001.

Kathy, as a Viet Nam veteran with 26 months in that torture chamber we must make jokes to keep our selves from renting a plane and wipeing out all people that live there. America rejected us when we thought we were protecting the homeland. We were following the accepted leadership of the era, and now follow no leadership for fear of being mislead again. If I were in charge their country would be a foot deep in hog fat allready and anybody who ran would be properly shot more than once. There is no place in my heart to feel compashion, nor forgiveness; and do not throw that Bible stuff at me, where was it when my buddies bodies were flying through the air in many small pieces. Where is the ACLU now that Arab sterotypes are being confronted, where are the anti gun people; talking for the Islamic people to hear? You are much younger that I am, your views tell me that....until you have had a human adams apple in your mouth, choosing for life or death, you are not qualified to speak....

-- mitch hearn (, October 03, 2001.

i still stand by my original answer. cut off their left arm and feed'em pork. if you are not familar with the left arm issue, they only use their left hand for, how can i say this delicately, wiping themselves. the right hand is reserved for eating. therefore, ergo.

-- gene ward (, October 03, 2001.

Mitch, which country is it you are referring to?

-- john hill (, October 03, 2001.

Huuummmm ... that thar Kathy again ... tell you what Kathy ... we could stick you on a plane with all that good lovin' feelin' ya got and parashute you out over ol ben fodder's place and see how acceptin he would be of your "let's all be kind an sweep off our own back pourch first" attitude. Here's what ya got to mull over ol gal ... if they was to come trampin up your drive blowin the crap outta your stuff and aimin at you cuz you had all that christian propaganda stuck in yer head, would you stand there and let em cut ya down without even wantin someone to kill the bastards, or would ya yell at the first person ya seen with a gun to shoot the rags off'n thar heads? Personally, I don't give a damn about what's happened here in our own country - sortta like family ... we can fitght amongst ourselves and we'll work it out and de-nut anyone who gets outta line. But someone like this ben fubar comes in an kills our people an thinks we ain't gonna kick his ass all the way into the depths of hell is just crazy! An anyone who thinks we should just sit back on our pourch, chaw on our straw and keep on whiddlin like nothin happened is just downright either stupid or a hypocrite! Either way gal, ya need to figure out iff'n you want us good decent folks here to have our backbone back, of iff'n ya want ta just roll over and take it up the shute some more! Ifn ya ask me, I don't think it much matters that thars some folks whats wantin to be easy goin about all this. I think our country as a whole is fed up with the mamby-pamby way things has been done in the past, and we're ready to take care of business. I been known to be wrong in the past, but this time I don't think so! GOD BLESS AMERICA!

-- Cap'n (, October 03, 2001.

Kathy, dear. I was slightly injured in the OKC bombing. OKC is my home town and I love it dearly. My town and my people went through hell and came out on top - stronger than ever. You think there weren't McVeigh jokes going around?!? Hon, that's what kept us sane at times. And the bast**d got exactly what he deserved in the end.

I, too, wish we could all just get along. But you can't get along, or negotiate, with terrorists. It would be great if we could all just pass around some flowers, and hold hands, and sing songs, and rejoice in our differences. But the problem is, the terrorists want to KILL US! It's time we stood up for ourselves, our families, our country, and our world, and rid ourselves of this terrorist cancer.

I'm sorry if you think it's mean of us to vent our anger at the attrocities that have been forced upon us. I'm sorry if you're upset by the jokes we're making in an effort to cope with the horror the Taliban have delivered to our doorstep. This is a time of healing for our country and laughter is the best medicine. It lifts the burden, if only for a moment.

I say - let the pigs fly!!!!

-- Cheryl in KS (, October 03, 2001.

I just love the way Cap'n writes :)

-- Primitive Passion (, October 04, 2001.

Somebody asked a leader of the Taleban where Osama was... he replied "Osama Bin Hidin". :)

-- Dawg (, October 04, 2001.

I really enjoyed these posts. Everyone seemed to treat Ardies post as a kind of joke. You know, I wonder what really would happen if we really did put a pig on every flight. I guess the old devils (Bin Laden types) who tell the 20's years that they'll go straight to paradise if the kill themselves while killing an American could somehow convince them that "this time, just this once" it would be all right to die with a pig. I've often wondered, if this action would get them to heaven, why don't the Bin Ladens, Saddams, etc get on the suicide planes and go to heaven themselves, if they really believe it. They probably don't even remember what it was like to enjoy the company of a female. If it would save our airlines, why not buy a few pigs and try it. If it doesn't work, nothing lost. I mean really, why not? There's nothing much to lose, and the most wonderful nation and society that ever existed to be saved. As Mitch Hearn and some others could tell you, the VC had a superstition about the ace of spades. The thought that if you saw one, it meant death and hell for them (or something like that.) We were furnished with decks of cards with nothing but the ace of spades and we scattered them everywhere a VC or North Vietnames regulars might show up. I'm not sure how much good it did but now doubt, it won some battles and saved some GI lives. If we tried the ace of spades, why not a few pigs? We aught to try some stuff like that. Boy, I wrote a long post, sorry!!-hope someone takes the time to read it. Kathy, get serious, these people are trying to destroy our country, our way of life and kill us. If we lose, it's really gone. This not something in which you'll wake up tomorrow and it'll all the bad guys will be gone. Eagle (Ed)

-- eagle (, October 04, 2001.

Absolutely love the idea of putting pigs on planes....Would this help the ecomony by more people raising "flying pigs"? I think the people who responded negatively to these posts need to lighten up and not take these funny ideas so seriously, because as of right now, we could all use a little more humor in our lives...Eh? Harmony

-- Harmony Bullington (, October 04, 2001.

I've noticed that we are trying hard to find some healing from this terrible incident and laughter is part of it. It is far healthier to laugh than it is to be angry. We..well most of us anyway...understand this as we are mature enough to have been through tragedy before. I rarely write anything in here that will upset anyone, but I have to say to Kathy one thing:

"Kathy, until you've lived as long as I have and seen the events I have, don't judge our attempts to stop the tears of anguish we've shed". God bless.

-- Ardie from WI (, October 04, 2001.

So we finally see the day when pigs can fly, eh? hehehe....

I'll donate a few gallon of Newfie screech to the cause! And buy a couple piglets as well. Sounds better than the method of nuke 'em til they glow and shoot 'em in the dark.


-- (, October 04, 2001.

geez, I am grateful when I was a fat-old-and-a-bit-tipsy on my birthday a couple of days ago I didn't get dumped in Afghanistan!

Seriously, with their alcohol/women taboos, don't you find it interesting that some of these suicide bombers spent their last night before their "holy sacrifice" in a strip bar paying for lap dances and getting drunk?

-- marcee (, October 04, 2001.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ