Have you ever looked at....

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The picture on a box of food? Or a can of food? Not just glanced at it, but really LOOKED?

Usually there is a picture of the fine food product enclosed in the box you are holding...or the can of food you are holding. For instance, Wal-Mart brand canned ravioli has a picture of their tasty ravioli on the label, a picture featuring a spoon holding a single glistening canned ravioli up for your viewing pleasure.

Under the picture you will usually find the words: "Serving suggestion".

THANK GOD! Oh how long was it that I ate the canned ravioli with my fingers before I saw those magical words? Oh joy! Use a spoon? Why didn't I think of that? Thank-you oh thank-you can picture labeling wizards! I once was lost, but now I'm saved! From now on I will use a spoon!

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), August 22, 2001

Answers

Wal-Mart brand canned ravioli has a picture of their tasty ravioli on the labe

I wouldn't feed that shit to my dog or ex-wife.

As you were.

-- George S Patton (JustKickin@ss.org), August 22, 2001.


George, it's so sweet to know that you still love your ex-wife...

-- helen (love@you.too), August 22, 2001.

Last week I opened a can of tuna purchased in 1999 (who knows when it was packed). It was not bulging but, when opened, it looked/smelled bad. Be careful.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), August 22, 2001.

When I was in the Air Force, after the Viet Nam war ended a lot of people became sponsors for vietnamese families immigrating for safety.

I heard this story, not sure if it is true or not.

They had classes to help them learn to shop. They were told to use the pictures on the product to see what was in the container.

One family went to the store and found a can with a picture of fried chicken on it. They got home and were getting ready for dinner when they opened the can.......just to find it full of Crisco.

Guess that was a serving suggestion too.

-- Cherri (jessam6@home.com), August 23, 2001.


Too funny Cherri! The Vietnamese here buy squirrel food to attract squirrels and other vermin. There's no squirrels, cats or rats left to feed, cause the Viet's ate them all! I guess that means they get more foods stamps to supplement their diet.

BTW, foreigners don't care where they take a piss, they simply hike up their dress and squat right there. Seen it with my own two eyes!

-- edith (edith@meatheadd.com), August 23, 2001.



Regrettable Food

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), August 23, 2001.

If you like chinese food, never look in the kitchen, or especially the freezer. We had a chinese restaraunt closed down several month ago when the health inspector found a prepped german sheppard in the freezer. That warning goes out to everyone except you, Porter. You can eat all you want.

-- K.O. Free Estimates (your@town.USSA), August 23, 2001.

Edith aka bardou, that is a lie and you know it. vietnamese do NOT eat the local animals because they are taught before they come here that if they do, they will offend the locals. They go out of their way to fit in and it's white trash like you who spread urban legends that make their life more difficult.

SOME do urinate in public -- so do some white guys. Ever been in a bar parking lot on a weekend?

You put people down to make yourself feel superior. You are lower than a snake's belly, slimier than an oyster and stinkier than an outhouse on a humid day. You are inferior to every form of life, and you should walk a mile on your knees to give an Asian an apology. You can start now. I expect to see you on the news tomorrow.

-- (You @must.know), August 23, 2001.


KOFE, your urban legends are, well, legendary.

-- (You@must.know), August 23, 2001.

It's all true Future Shock. But I hate everyone the same, not just white people.

-- KoFE (your@town.USSA), August 23, 2001.


Thought you might enjoy these, Unk.

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (Evidently, the shoplifter special.)

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how...?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (But it's *just* a suggestion.)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down." (DUH! too late!)

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows the day...)

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts." (NEWS FLASH)

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.)

14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)

15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief.)

16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food." (Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's okay honey just grab the Palmolive!)

17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed, contact poison control." (Oh please. Have you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?)

18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine." (Hey no more swimming in the washing machine, kids.)

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), August 24, 2001.


19. On a stroller..."Remove baby before folding".

-- (Catherine__Linton@hotmail.com), August 25, 2001.

Very good Pammy, thank you.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), August 25, 2001.

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