Political Philosophies Explained in Simple "Two-Sheep" Terms (with an update for the State of California)

Socialism: You have two sheep. You keep one, but must give the other to your neighbor.

Communism: You have two sheep. The government takes both and provides you with wool.

Fascism: You have two sheep. The government takes both and sells you the wool.

Bureaucracy: You have two sheep. The government takes them both, shoots one, shears the other, pays you for the wool, and then puts it in a warehouse.

Dictatorship: You have two sheep. The government takes both, then shoots you.

Capitalism: You have two ewes. You sell one and buy a ram.

Democracy: You have two sheep. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one sheep, which was a gift from your own government.

Corporation: You have two sheep. You lay one off, force the other to produce the wool of four sheep, then act surprised when it drops dead.

California: You have two sheep. The state tells you how to shear your sheep, when to shear your sheep, how much to shear your sheep and the most that you can charge for the wool. You go broke and sell the sheep. The state calls you greedy and blames you for the current wool shortage.

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-- Uncle Jake (lulafred@cs.com), August 14, 2001

Answers

Response to Political Sheep Terms

That's funny, and true!!! :)

-- Little Quacker (carouselxing@juno.com), August 14, 2001.

Response to Political Sheep Terms

Really cool way of defining the terms, thanks Uncle Jake. Now what I want to know is: Who does the government consider the sheep, ewe or you?

-- j.r. guerra (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), August 15, 2001.

I think that this is a sheep shot at political, corporate and governmental systems; and to think that removing any of the wool would help is shear nonsense.

-- Roc Pucci (RPucci7922@aol.com), August 15, 2001.

That was just baaa-aaaad. Wool you be posting any more?

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), August 16, 2001.

Great wits folks!! LOL I have a friend who seems to pull these "jewels" out of the woodwork, and forwards them. Nice change of pace from the usual e-mail junk. Hey, just had a thought! I'm real close to Clemson... maybe one of the political professors could use it for some of our up and coming leaders.... or maybe just for fertilizer? :)

-- Uncle Jake (lulafred@cs.com), August 16, 2001.