[humor] Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest - Winners (?) for 2001

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The 2001 Results page also includes this description:

"Conceived to honor the memory of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, encourage word play, and promote the universal improvement of mankind, the contest challenges entrants to compose bad opening sentences to imaginary novels."

More information may be found at their home page, where the above mentioned results may be moved in a few days. Enjoy!

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), July 09, 2001

Answers

To "Recent Answers."

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), July 10, 2001.

The cat yawned, stretched and vigorously began to lick its genitals, filling me with envy so I shot it.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), July 10, 2001.

Lars, that's pretty good! (As a potential entry, that is.) You might try your luck in the 2002 contest.

Oh, was the envy due to the narrator's wanting to lick the cat's genitals?

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), July 10, 2001.


Puh-leeze! Only human males spend most of their time dreaming of having their genitals licked!

Cats do it to keep away infection because their tongues are coated with antibiotics.

-- (b@lls are NOT the .best organ), July 10, 2001.


Old joke,

Q - Why does a dog (cat) lick its dick?

A - Because it can

-- (nemesis@awol.com), July 11, 2001.



I don't know where I read this, or even the exact context, but there was some joke article I found on the web a while back that mentioned how some guy was being rushed to the hospital with a "dislocated spine", obtained via self fellation. There was a funny line, utterred by some bystander: "I don't beleive it. The kid made it."

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), July 11, 2001.

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