Bush's Visit to Europe

Simon Bates Says Europe Unimpressed

(CBS) The gift that most of the great American comedians have, from Buster Keaton, to Jack Benny, and Jim Carrey, is the ability to walk unconcernedly through life leaving chaos in their wake.

And yet still be innocent, funny and loveable. Well, your new President George W. Bush has just visited us here in Europe, tried the same trick and though he has left chaos in his wake, he’s failed to be funny or loveable. And I haven’t even mentioned innocent.
His main achievement was to inspire the citizens of Sweden, one of the most boring countries in the world, to riot for the first time in living memory. I guess that’s something to boast about back in Washington. George W. was here to tell us that Star Wars 2 is a great idea, and that the Kyoto accord, to curb deadly greenhouse gasses is a bad idea. He cantered down the steps of Air Force One onto good Spanish soil, and immediately set about mangling their language and insulting European history. In his opening speech, he seemed surprised and delighted that we were democratic. He might just as well have expressed amazement that we can read and write. He then advanced a political vision so absurd that for a while the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard seemed to be sitting on his shoulder. The idea that war in the 21st century is just going to consist of a rain of high tech missiles from a probably bankrupt Third World country, is to us crazy.

Most of us are more worried of the idea of a man getting off a plane at Paris, London, or Rome, carrying a suitcase with high explosives or worse, a deadly virus to unleash on the subway. Don'’ forget, we'’e lived with rehearsals for this for the last thirty years, from the likes of the IRA, ETA. That's the real threat; Star Wars is for the movies. And even our politest leaders, as they watched Mr. Bush’s stumbling performance, couldn’t go all the way with this particular hotch potch. The less polite chuckled nervously and comforted themselves in the knowledge that their political majorities were probably more genuine than his. One thing’s for sure: when it comes to foreign relations, your president is no JFK. He’s more like Monte Wooley, you remember, the man who came to dinner and simply didn’t know when to leave.

Simon Bates





-- Cherri (jessam6@home.com), July 06, 2001

Answers

Simon Bates, international broadcaster and voice-over artist

-- (Paracelsus@Pb.Au), July 06, 2001.

A friend of mine just spent 3 weeks in Europe visiting family and friends and she said the general consensus over there is that Dubya is just plain DUMB and undeniably, disconcertedly pro-Big Business. They're particularly pissed about his stance on the environment. Let's face it, other than the *minority* of U.S. citizens that voted for him, nobody likes the guy!

-- 1 (2@3.com), July 06, 2001.

Unimpressed.

Kinda like the people on this forum are unimpressed by cherri stewart and her constant bush-bashing (in all her troll masks).

Give it a rest, huh. We get the point that you don't like the guy. You've said it over and over and OVER AGAIN. Enough already.

Like it or not, he's in for 3+ more years....at least. If you don't accept that, you will be extremly bitter by 2004; If another republican should win office, you will virtually explode!

-- (get@life.willya?), July 06, 2001.

Dude if you think Dubya WON anything you are so far from GETTING IT, you are on Ur-anus.

Feel free to roll-over and bend-over, leave the Patriot shit to others, we Thank You for your support.

-- (too@funny.haha), July 07, 2001.

So says a CBS report and we all know that CBS is unbiased and politically middle-of-the-road, don't we? For instance, CBS would never have a major anchor who appears as a free draw at a Democratic fundraiser in Houston--then says, shucks, he didn't know, even though his own daughter organized the event.

The Europeans are the same folks who took Bush snidely and severely to task for America's policy of capital punishment, yet said nary a word about China executing over 1700 people in three months. We can trust the Europeans to be objective just like CBS, right?

-- Pull the other one (to@hear.bells), July 07, 2001.

Strange logic linking CBS and all of Europe, but have at it.

As to the China Deal, you are aware Amnesty International is largely a British Organization, are you not? with strong support throughout Europe and most of the world? Amnesty broke the China story, are these the Europeans you are talking about?

-- (too@funny.haha), July 07, 2001.

Europe is a continent. Britain is an island unto itself. Britons do not refer to themseles as Europeans.

-- Geography (minor@at.work), July 07, 2001.

Jim Carey's not USian.

-- stealing (fromothers@gain.eh), July 08, 2001.

What's a Briton?

Man I have seen some lame rationalizations but yours takes the cake.

-- (too@funny.haha), July 08, 2001.

Oops, my bad. The word "Britons" could be used to describe inhabitants of Great Britain. That is if one is talking about Brits from the Fifth Century. But You were correct and I was wrong.

I hope this incident does not soil our relationship :)

-- (too@funny.haha), July 08, 2001.

Here's a fifth-century TV station report:)

From the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) as of Tuesday, 26 June, 2001, 19:26 GMT 20:26 UK

Britons told 'do not go to Macedonia'

Thousands of nationalists besiege Skopje's parliament building The Foreign Office is advising against all travel to Macedonia following an upsurge in tensions in the country.

And it says Britons in the country may wish "to consider leaving it".

The advice follows an appeal for calm by Macedonia's president after a night of protests in the capital, Skopje.

He defended a western-led evacuation of ethnic Albanian rebels from a village near Skopje, which enraged Macedonia nationals.

A spokesman for the Foreign Office said: "Demonstrations took place in Skopje overnight and there is the possibility of further hostile behaviour in the immediate future.

"In the event of civil disorder, British nationals should restrict their movements as much as possible, especially after dark and stay at home.

"They should also avoid large crowds and demonstrations."

The warning follows a decision by Foreign Secretary Jack Straw to call off a visit to Skopje on Tuesday.

He was due to have talks with political leaders to try to ease tensions between Macedonians and ethnic Albanians.

Tensions

But after thousands of nationalists besieged the parliament building on Monday evening, the Foreign Office announced that the trip would not go ahead.

"The foreign secretary has decided that it would not be appropriate in the light of events to go ahead with the visit," a spokesman said.

"The priority today is to calm the situation."

Some protesters broke into the legislature on Monday night, destroying furniture and displaying the old Macedonian flag banned by the communists more than 50 years ago, when the country was still part of Yugoslavia.

And Macedonia's army shelled a village in the northeast of the country held by ethnic Albanian rebels on Tuesday morning.

Civil war

Mr Straw's trip was intended to underline British and European support for a political solution to the rumbling conflict.

European Union leaders have spent months trying to persuade the Macedonian Slav leadership and ethnic Albanian political leaders to compromise and avert a civil war.

EU foreign ministers told their Macedonian counterpart Ilinka Mitreava during talks in Luxembourg on Monday not to count on new financial aid unless the government and ethnic Albanian opponents settle their differences.

Fighting broke out in Macedonia in February when militants began taking over villages near the border with Kosovo, whose population is predominantly Albanian, to demand more rights for ethnic Albanians.

The rebels want more rights under the constitution.

The Macedonian Slavs reject that as a threat to the nation's integrity.

P.S. I love you, too@funny.haha

-- Geography (minor@at.work), July 08, 2001.

Geography minor = 1, too funny = 0.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), July 08, 2001.

J, Too funny may be a math or rocket science major with little exposure to geography, anthropology, history, whatever. It's not his/her fault. That's what forums are for - to elucidate.

But I love you too, J.

-- Geography (minor@at.work), July 08, 2001.

Geography minor,

I am the first to realize that there are many areas where I am not an expert. But after too@funny's "Brits from the Fifth Century" quip, I was compelled to post the score after your excellent rebuttal, "Here's a fifth-century TV station report:)".

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), July 08, 2001.

Oh and I do appreciate it, J, and thank you for the compliment. I just didn't want Too to feel like an idiot.

-- Geography (minor@at.work), July 08, 2001.

Geography minor,

You are a scholar, and a gentleman.

Unless, of course, you are a scholar, and a lady. : )

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), July 08, 2001.

Briton

1 : a member of one of the peoples inhabiting Britain prior to the Anglo-Saxon invasions

Interesting reading indeed.

-- (too@funny.haha), July 08, 2001.

Thank you, J, you're obviously a person of enviable taste and rare refinement. Too, that's a very interesting piece--I did enjoy it--written by a Bill Cooper who seems to be a Briton involved in the UK Creation Science Movement. However, nowhere in it could I find the definition you give above. I did find your definition in the Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary--but you did not paste the second definition, tsk tsk! Here it is: 1 : a member of one of the peoples inhabiting Britain prior to the Anglo-Saxon invasions
2 : a native or subject of Great Britain; especially : ENGLISHMAN Oxford University's English Reference Dictionary defines Briton as: 1 one of the people of southern Britain before the Roman conquest.
2 a native or national of Great Britain or (formerly) of the British Empire.

-- Geography (minor@at.work), July 08, 2001.

Geography minor = 2, too funny = 0.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), July 09, 2001.

Me thinks J needs to find a chess partner.

-- (too@funny.haha), July 09, 2001.

too@funny.haha,

It's nothing personal, but Geography minor has your number on this thread. If this were a chess game, I would resign if I were you. : )

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), July 09, 2001.

Yeah, Lisa is pretty sharp when posting from work. at home, she is usually drunk. *hick*

-- (first@care.now), July 09, 2001.

Too Funny is someone named Lisa who drinks? I don't think Too Funny is guilty of KUI; she just didn't check her facts carefully enough - and that's something we all forget sometimes. Don't be so hard on her; it's certainly not fair (let alone accurate) to say she drinks. Unless, of course, First has personally witnessed Lisa drunk on multiple occasions.

I love you, Lisa :)

-- Geography (minor@at.work), July 09, 2001.