Fanily sayings and folk wisdom

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We all know the 'standard' folk aphorisms, such as "if you can't beat em, join em", or "a new broom sweeps clean". But probably we each have a few less-common sayings that we repeat mostly among our family members and a few other insiders. They aren't necessarily ancient or profound. They just seem to fit certain situations that come up.

For instance, one of my father's sayings was, "You got to eat a peck of dirt before you die." When you camp in the woods, this saying comes in handy a lot.

Another one my father used a lot was in close sleeping quarters, like a tent, or a shared motel room. Right after he turned out the lights, he'd ask, "Is everybody all comfy and cozy? Then shut yer yaps and go to sleep!"

In the morning he'd wake us up with a ritual chant he learned in the CCCs, "Sunrise on hilltop! Crow in swamp! Meat on tab! Sun-of-a-gun in bunk!"

When we kids went ape, my mom would always admonish us, "Hold your horses!" When she was at the end of her patience, she invariably threatened us with a scowl and a shaken fist, "I'll shoot you! I'll shoot you and then I'll boil you in oil!"

My wife, when she gets a cramp or a twinge always says, "Wait a sec. I got a hitch in my getalong." When pleased, she likes to say, "Everything is copacetic!"

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 02, 2001

Answers

Oh, yes. When my mom expresses astonishment, more likely than not she'll say "Goodness gracious sakes alive!" (I kid you not. She does.)

OTOH, my wife is much more likely to say, "Boy howdy!"

I'd drop some of my own pet sayings for people's amusement here, but it's harder to hear the quirks in your own speech.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 02, 2001.


Probably the most meaningful thing my mom ever said to me was, "Just let it go in one ear and out the other." She was ALWAYS saying stuff like this.

SO recently met a guy who explained the idiom Never look a gift horse in the mouth. The kids and I studied idioms while they were growing up, but this explanation made more sense than most. It seems that when people BUY horses, they open the mouth to check the teeth. [I'm reminded of how horses have teeth that actually GROW as they wear down, but that's another topic dealing with how horses evolved to their current state.] It's considered rude to look in the mouth of a horse obtained as a gift, ergo the saying.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), July 02, 2001.


MY GRAN,MA alway's said=when someone was knocking a messed up person[soul]she said=''there for the grace of GOD go I''

when we see fault's in other's-do we feel=superior?

''walk in another's shoe's-then mouth off''

WANT MERCY???---GIVE MERCY!!!!!!!!

-- al-d. (dogs@zianet.com), July 02, 2001.


I think your grandma was a wise woman, Al, which REALLY means that I use that saying a lot on myself. It's so damn easy to judge.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), July 02, 2001.

In my family, the joke versions of saying grace are

"Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat!"

"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, he who grabs first gets the most."

Or (like a cheerleader) "Rub a dub dub! Thanks for the grub! Hoooooray, God!"

-- Miserable SOB (misery@misery.com), July 02, 2001.



One of my Dad's favorites: "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!"

One of my Mom's favorites: "If you break both your legs, don't come running to me!"

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), July 02, 2001.


Like many,love few,learn to paddle your own canoe.

On seeing a well-endowed bra-less lady walking along..Good God !Its like watching two ferrets fighting in a sack.

Describing a thief. He would steal your eye out of its socket & then come back for the lashes.

-- Chris (ireland@inabog.com), July 02, 2001.


Slipperier than snot on a doorknob

busier than a cat covering shit on a hot tin roof

hotter than the hubs of hell

tighter than a bull's ass in fly time

colder than a witche's boob

hotter than a whore's #%$& on payday

dry as a popcorn fart

and on and on.....

-- Will (righthere@home.now), July 02, 2001.


Will, I see your family favors a brand of humor that's on the 'salty' side.

-- Miserable SOB (misery@misery.com), July 02, 2001.

Chris, my dad had some of the Irish and he would say, "He's as good a man as you'd meet in a long day's walk."

-- Miserable SOB (misery@misery.com), July 02, 2001.


SOB

"Men will let you abuse them if only you will make them laugh" Henry Ward Beecher 1887

He that jokes confesses. Italian proverb

FWIW

-- Will (righthere@home.now), July 02, 2001.


Meanwhile, back at the ranch. . . LN, I have a salty ol' stepdad who uses the modification "She's gotta hitch in her giddy-up". SOB, he uses your rendition of the 'Rub a dub dub'. . .

The weather is always a prime topic for discussion, and Will's 'popcorn fart' is often employed by him, unless it's 'colder than a whore's dreams' or a witch's _ _ _. Oh yeah, and it often rains harder than 'a cow peeing on a flat rock' in his area. This is much rougher fare than I was raised around, but how my mother loved it later in life.

My grandaddy would promise to 'dance at your wedding' if you did something which particularly struck his fancy. At other times he might size up your aspirations as attempts 'to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear'.

-- flora (***@__._), July 02, 2001.


Salty can be good, but it can get out of hand.. which is why I offered the family truisms that suit some of my elders who spout these things regularily...

My great grandfather who made a veritable fortune in the thirties had a helpful saying "don't tell me how much you made!... tell me how much you saved"

-- Will (righthere@home.now), July 02, 2001.


I'm originally from Northern Ireland and that place is a gold mine for wonderful expressions:

"It put the heart in me sideways" (I got a scare)

"He's as thick as 2 short planks" (He's not very bright)

"You'll get square eyes" (You're sitting too close to the TV)

Some of my aged great-aunts were fond of saying "if you make a face like that and the wind changes you're stuck with it"

One of my favourite things to do when I go back to visit Northern Ireland is to sit in a public place and "people listen"

In Canada, there are some good ones as well:

"It would gag a maggot on a gutwagon" (It's rather smelly)

"It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra"...we can use that one about 8 months of the year (sigh)

"He's a couple beers short of a two-four" (He's not bright)

Now that you've raised the topic, Little Nipper, all these old sayings are going to pop into my head!

JC

-- Johnny Canuck (j_canuck@hotmail.com), July 03, 2001.


Life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread ya got the less shit ya eat.

Family folklore #374

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), July 03, 2001.



Since the thread took a turn in this direction, I have an uncle who has been heard to mutter: "That guy's ten pounds of sh*t in a five pound bag." But then, my uncle is someone who always got handed the dirty end of the stick, so he comes by it honestly.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 03, 2001.

After a night out... Eyes like two pissholes in a snowbank

-- Will (righthere@home.now), July 03, 2001.

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