I am a BAD American -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has the right to pray to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.

My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave.

I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.

I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-#$%! up already.

I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the World for the next four years.

I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into taking 'donations' to their cause. These people should be targets.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the main stream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you know. We need our country back!

and how was your day?

-- (stolen@from.unclebobshouse), May 24, 2001

Answers

My day has been AOK.

I am proud to say I'm 'pretty much' a BAD American too.

Not much of a beef jerky fan though.

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), May 24, 2001.

I love the language. Did you know that norom is a backward moron?

Very,

Bemused

-- Bemused (Bemused@comedy.xxx), May 24, 2001.

I believe that Marylin Manson is very light in the loafers, if you know what I mean.

-- Dr. Pibb (dr.pibb@zdnetonebox.com), May 24, 2001.

>I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!<

Most likely you have none. Then again, if I were as nasty as you, I wouldn't practice introspection either.

>I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.<

Influence on young people is cumulative. We will never live in a perfect world, but you're not even smart enough to imagine a decent world. I hope my children never go to school with yours.

>I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.<

No, it doesn't make you a killer. It just means you're paranoid or you live in the ghetto.

>I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.<

Say that after you've donned black face and try to catch a cab in N.Y. Say that when you try to get credit. Say that when you try to rent an apartment in a nice neighborhood even though you make more money than most who live there.

>I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.<

Do you believe the same thing should happen at Taco Bell?

>I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.<

Who is going to pay for the burned down buildings when the culprit can't be found?

>I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.<

It depends on what they're studying. If they are studying for a Fine Arts degree, they are.

>I believe everyone has the right to pray to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.<

This is the first thing you've said I agree with 100%.

>My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. <

That's too stupid to respond to.

>I've never owned a slave, or was a slave.<

No duh. Being a white male you wouldn't.

>I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.<

No duh. You're Christian.

>I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-#$%! up already.<

You first.

>I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.<

There are places in mid-america where even white men get railroaded. Think of that the next time you hear a scared person runs.

>I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into taking 'donations' to their cause. These people should be targets.<

I think fat white guys in luxury vehicles and trucks picking their noses clear up to their knuckles should be targets.

>I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.<

I can't wait until your old so I can show you this again.

>I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.<

Good! Eat more! It's full of salt and maybe you'll die of hypertension sooner.

>I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.<

Sure, but we have to divorce your sorry asses after we realize our mistake.

>I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the main stream media would like the world to believe otherwise.<

Methinks thou protests too much.

>If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.<

Yes, you are.

-- (I'm @ good .American), May 24, 2001.

Please, duh, it was written by George Carlin. Did you take your med's today? As the cowardly lion would say Put em up comeon I'll fight cha with one hand tied behind my back.

-- the wizard (were@off.to see), May 24, 2001.