I was thinking last night about how when I was a child everyone was supposed to wear a rose to church on Mother's Day. If your mother was living it was supposed to be a red rose. If she was dead, it was supposed to be a white rose. There was always a big scramble to find white roses because they don't do well here and very few people could get the white ones to live, much less bloom at the right time. Is this a Southern custom, or did everyone do that all over the country? Does anyone know why the custom started? Oh, and I'm not a spring chicken any more either, as I was born in 1953 in case some of you younger folks were wondering just how old a fossil I am, and just how archeaic the custom was. And please, no dinosaur jokes! LOL

-- Green (ratdogs10@yahoo.com), May 13, 2001

Answers

When I was growing up, there was a 'Rose' tradition, but it worked the other way around. The mothers wore the flowers, instead of the children. All mothers wore a red rose. Grandmothers/Great Grandmothers wore a yellow rose. If you had lost a child, you were entitled to a white rose or you cold wear the appropriate red/yellow one. I have no idea about the origins of the custom, but we practiced it until at least the mid-80's. The church I attend now gives flowers for all the ladies, 'official' mother or not. I don't know about the rest of the country, I'm Southern as well.

-- StevenB (thicketyrowfarm@aol.com), May 13, 2001.

Green, I am about your age, also a Southern girl(Texas, obviously;). We had the same custom. Mom had a seven sisters rose that always bloomed about Mother's Day, little red roses for us all. Mom's mom lived to a ripe old age, and her mom as well, so I don't remember ever looking for the white roses, just it being talked about. I saw a young lady in church today wearing a white rose, and I wondered if her mother had indeed died, or if she was unaware of the custom. No one talks about it anymore. Moms all received as gift a beautiful red rose at church today. I do think it's nice for all the ladies to get one.

-- mary, texas (marylgarcia@aol.com), May 13, 2001.

Well, I was raised in Wisconsin mostly and we gave flowers, but I don't recall it necessarily being roses. It might be a mostly southern tradition. Then again, I might just not have been very observant! I'll ask my mom next timne I speak with her.

-- Doreen (bisquit@here.com), May 13, 2001.

Awww Green - you crack me up, LOL!!! (1966 here -)

Never spent much time in churches as ya'll know, but we always took my Grandmothers out for Mother's Day dinner. We wore roses... The children wore the red and white, and the grandkids wore pink no matter what the state of existance. My Grandparents, of course, all wore white roses.

I think the symbolism was something along the lines of red=blood=life, white=soul=death and pink was a symbol that showed the kids love for their Mothers/Grandmothers... etc. I don't know if it means that in the Christian context, but that's what I taught my daughter. I told her that it is a sign of respect and love for those who have gone before.

Incidentally, we did that with the males on Father's Day, too, only then the grandkids wore yellow roses. For that I have no idea. Perhaps because back then it was the men who provided everything for the family?? I don't have a clue.

Over the years, the roses have gone, (sadly) and an item of clothing of the appropriate color is worn in our family instead.

-- Sue Diederich (willow666@rocketmail.com), May 14, 2001.

I MADE WHITE ROSES FOR THE MOTHER WHO MOTHER HAD GONE ON ,AND I MADE RED&WHITE FOR THE OTHER MOTHERS. IT WAS SAID YOU CAN NOT PUT RED&WHITE TOGETHER.SO MAYBLE SOME ONE CAN TILL ME WHAT WAS WRONG.

-- BEVERLY HENSLEY (beverlymssnn@cs.com), May 11, 2003.