All women not "saved" by 5/15/2001 to be sterilized

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In a raging bout of compassionate conservatism, President Bush today signed an executive order stating that only women who have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior will be allowed to continue bearing children. Bush said that only when women "know" the lord do they know the proper use of their reproductive organs. Additionally, the order states that women with children may no longer work, saved or not, as the proper family values state women are for child-raising and men are for wage earning. "We must return to a time when women were barefoot and pregnant, when they knew their proper role, and when they did not question their husband's right to ignore the kids and have a few beers with their friends", Bush qouted in his press conference regarding the order.

The reverand Billy Graham has been appointed to spearhead mass evangelism, and will mobilize all chosen people to reach out to the unclean women and offer the peace of the lord. Attorney General John Ashcroft will oversee the legal end of this process, making sure that affidavits are signed by all women who have been saved.

When asked about the logistics of mass sterilization, Bush stated that it would not be a problem; that martial law will be declared on 5/15/2001, and the National Guard will take over most hospitals to make sure the process goes on unimpeded.

"These liberated women are causing great strife in this country. They think they can use their reproductive organs just to have fun, and this is evil. When women knew their place, this country was great, and we must restore the proper family values to return to that greatness." said the final paragraph in the executive order.

Affidavits of proper salvation can be downloaded from www.senate.gov, and can be forwarded to your state's attorney general's office. Meanwhile, it is suggested to all women that they "keep their legs closed" if they do not wish to have a child and have to stop working.

-- Stop Liberation (serves@them.right), April 26, 2001


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