The Bitch Session

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Well this is it...the official Tony Baloney bitch session thread. This is where the gloves come off you punk repugs so get ready. First of all I am sick and tired of your undying worship of that thieving resident, George Dubyah. Second of all I am sick and tired of all the crap that you repugs sling. Your never fucking happy about anything! Its socialist this, commie that...what a load of crap. I say you punks should listen up and free yourself of the yoke of slavery that you find yourself in. Your minds are locked up and brainwashed. You poor fucking morons. All you do is come here and post your anti liberal shit and it is getting fucking old. Your boy stole the fucking election plain and simple. Where the hell is President Gore?! All right next poster! (and I still want to bang Maria in a liberal sort of way)

-- Tony Baloney (Fuck the@repugs.com), April 17, 2001

Answers

Yawn.......next!

-- Bend over Tony (for@the.baloney), April 17, 2001.

Where the hell is President Gore?!

You apparently haven't been keeping up on current events. Bush won.

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), April 17, 2001.


There you go Bob showing your ignorance! Bush did not win. The supreme court handed him that residency! Gore actually won and everyone knows it. Your fucking cheating side stole the goddamn election. Its a fraudulent nobody sitting in the White House. Its a bloodless coup and will go down in history. You repugs are going down too! Watch and see!

-- Tony Baloney (stiff fuckin with the stupid@repugs.com), April 17, 2001.

Tony, you shouldn’t sit on the baloney……causes hallucinations. Your lying fucking puke leader has gone the way of all good liberals……in hiding. Now the good guys get to run things for a while and pussy’s like you Tony get to take it up the ass. If you don’t already, you’ll learn to like it….bitch.

-- Bend over Tony (here@comes.the_baloney), April 17, 2001.

Foul language for Foul-Times. yup the american-eagle is headed for a crash-dive. tick tock GODS Clock rite on time.

Precision-Prophecy----it's AWESOME!!!

-- al-d (dogs@zianet.com), April 17, 2001.



Tony,

Swap out a few words and you've read my mind.

It's worth remembering that the road to the Supreme Court was started by your team and that the wallow through Florida was pretty short on goodguys. Not the candidates themselves but the troopies marshalled and sent south to try and influence election recounts & results. You don't want a body count there I promise.

BTW, I'm happy bout most things.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), April 17, 2001.


This is all illusion anyway. Get on the winning side now. Think NWO! Do you want to be a sheeple or a card-carrying member? Hint: If you aren't at least worth several million then practice saying Baaaaaaa.

-- NWO (get@on.the.winning.side.now), April 17, 2001.

Who knew those repug puke judges would swing Bush's way? Obviously Bush knew!! Bought and paid for! Your right Carlos -- what kind of shit is it when the repugs fight so dirty? (sending thugs to Florida to disrupt the count) Fair is fair! What's that someone said about King Georgie? Dirty deeds done dirt cheap. I find it amazing that so many poor to middle class citizens are actually stupid fucking repugs. By the way, I already belong to the winning side. This is just like Star Wars baby and Luke Skywalker is on our side! You fucking repugs are going down!! Watch and see.

-- Tony Baloney (Fuck you@repugs.com), April 17, 2001.

Now the good guys get to run things for a while and pussy’s like you Tony get to take it up the ass.

Excuse me Bend Over you moron -- wake up! We are all taking it up the ass! (and without lubricant) They just gave you drugs so the pain isn't so bad. Good guys? I guess if your a fucking alien from another planet or your a supporter of Satan! When things get back to normal Bend then us liberals will give you little bitches all the ass fucking you want!

-- Tony Baloney (You repugs really@suck.com), April 17, 2001.


On average a person thinks between 60000 and 80000 thoughts per day.

The surprising fact is that 99.9% of those thoughts are the same as yesterday's.

-- Debbie (dbspence@usa.net), April 17, 2001.



Well, now, this sure is educational. Glad I stopped by today.

I used to think that there were some sharp minds on this board, people who knew that the 2 party system was a sham, that our government's puppets are just that, all controlled by the "little grey men" with their big green stacks.

Dems? Repugs? Wake the fuck up! They're both the same and not worth arguing about.

Too late to change the system from within but too soon to openly shoot the bastards.

Dan V.

-- Jimmy Splinters (jsplinters@earthlink.net), April 17, 2001.


They're both the same and not worth arguing about.

what jimmy said...

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), April 17, 2001.


Try China!

-- Poor (excuses@4.Americans), April 17, 2001.

What Bob said.

-- Enlightenment (gone@away.now), April 17, 2001.

Russia is looking for a few good men...

scratchin' an itch...

The Dog

-- The Dog (dogdesert@hotmail.com), April 17, 2001.



Liberal Thinking

Sadly, we don't know who wrote this, but we are delighted to share it with those of you who have requested it:

I understand modern conservative thought. I understand libertarian thought. I understand classical liberalism.

What I can't begin to comprehend is modern liberalism. Maybe you can help me.

As near as I can tell, to be a liberal:

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.

IF there is a church that is valid it has been pre-approved by the government.

You have to be against capital punishment but for abortion on demand ... in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

You have to believe that the same public school idiot who can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You have to believe that everyone on the internet is a pervert BUT the school officials who want to do vaginal exams on your daughter without telling you have your best interest at heart.

You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but pasty, fey activists who've never been outside Seattle do.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.

You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels can't deliver the quality that PBS does.

You have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution. You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.

You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

You have to believe second-hand smoke is more dangerous than HIV.

You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady and Rosie O'Donnell is not really a man who is jealous of Tom Selleck.

You have to believe conservatives are racists but that black people couldn't make it without your help.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

Looking back on my list, it seems shallow, muddled, contradictory, divorced of logic and a bit sadistic.

Well, then.

If that doesn't describe the modern American liberal, I don't know what does.

Author Unknown

scratchin' another itch...

The Dog

-- The Dog (dogdesert@hotmail.com), April 17, 2001.


Damn Mr. Dog, Damn! Absolutely the finest critique of the liberal mindset ever put to words!

-- So (cr@t.es), April 17, 2001.

Not a lot of bitchin just a lot of being a ditto head. I definately agree with the idea that the two party system is what really sucks. Its just more fun to fuck with repugs. Now watch some dumb ass put up a list about conservative repugs. You repugs are so predictable. (and so fucking brainwashed) It is pitiful! By the way, why are repugs so damn UGLY?

-- Tony Baloney (Fuck the@repugs.com), April 17, 2001.

And here it comes now, Tony:

The reactionary right-wingers call me a liberal

I refuse to pretend that racism and sexism no longer exist, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe that "market forces" are some magical panacea, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe cutting the military from being able to blow up the world 10 times over down to only 8 times over is a bad thing, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe family means a man ruling over a wife and kids, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe that money magically trickles down from the rich, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe giving a mother food stamps to feed her kids is a waste of money, while buying the air force a billion dollar bomber it doesn't want isn't, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe cutting the taxes of the rich helps the poor, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe Rush Limbaugh has talent on loan from God, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe that the profit motive creates virtue in people, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe that might makes right, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe the government should control women's reproductive choices, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe that single mothers are necessarily bad parents, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe only northern Europeans have culture, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe a union worker making $17/hr is overpaid while a CEO making $1 million/year is not, so they call me a liberal.
I refuse to ignore the long history of oppression, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe teaching children about cultural diversity is wrong, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe the only good jobs are ones where someone else is skimming off a profit, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe Americans are inherently superior to other nationalities, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe homosexuals are evil, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe people with AIDS are criminals, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe non-Christians are evil, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe liberals are subhuman monsters, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe that things are black-and-white, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe that the same schools that are having trouble teaching children to read should teach them which god to worship and how, so they call me a liberal.
I don't believe their lies, so the reactionaries call me a liberal The more they talk, the more being called a liberal sounds like a compliment.


-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), April 17, 2001.

Mr. Baloney,

You are so elequent... a veritable wordsmith.

Government in general, is the problem. The two party system is merely a symptom...

Unfortunately, that diatribe about liberals was not written by these paws. I wish I had though, it WAS good... : )

snoozin' on the porch...

The Dog

-- The Dog (dogdesert@hotmail.com), April 17, 2001.


Come on Dog, you're kidding right?

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), April 17, 2001.

You’re just a bullshitting fool Monkey Boy. The fact that you may be a liberal is just a coincidence.

-- Monkey (Boy@won't.hunt), April 17, 2001.

Dog, leave me alone.

-- dudesy (dudesy@37.com), April 17, 2001.

You can wordsmith on this Dog! Don't be going intellectual on me boy. Your claim to repuganism would be in question. Did you know that dogs eat their own vomit, eat cat shit and occasionally eat each others shit? So Dog how about you eat shit and die! I can't believe how brainwashed you are. Does it hurt?

-- Tony Baloney (Still fucking the@repugs.com), April 17, 2001.

Hey Tiny Baloney, if Dogs eat shit you best go into hiding boy.

-- Tiny (meat@tiny.mind), April 18, 2001.

"Tiny" is from Mississippi, I'll wager. He just sounds so smart!

How come conservatives are so bitter, anyway? Is it because they grew up "behind", intellectually, and deep down they know they'll never really catch up?

-- Jesus (martinez@mexico.gov), April 18, 2001.


They are bitter because they know how ugly they are and you know what they say...(ugly goes clear to the bone). Actually most of the repugs are bitter because they want to be part of the top 1% (the ones getting the tax cut) and they think by sucking up to Bush and Rush that they will get there and they keep finding out that the only thing they are getting is fucked and thats enough to make anyone bitter. Face it repugs are fucked up negative bitter peo...uhh creatures. They should all just kill themselves.

-- Tony Baloney (Fuck the@repugs.com), April 18, 2001.

Hey Tiny. Eat me and die! bwwaaaahaaaa bwaahhaaa What a moron! Someday, you and I will have a battle of wits....when you get some!! bwaaahaaaa. You repugs are such simpletons.

-- Tony Baloney (You Stupid Fucking@repug.com), April 18, 2001.

Mr. Baloney,

You prove my points so well with your unheeding drivel and profanity. It is one thing to speak where every other word is vulgarisms, and quite another to actually TYPE these mono-syllablic replacements for intelligent words.

You did graduate from high school? Or, you are actually STILL in high school, based upon your mastery of the English language.

The election is over, done, finito. Please feel free to get a life AND a clue. Such venomous feelings can do nothing good for your physical and mental health. Have you checked your blood pressure lately?

And regarding your slur about my being a Republican... I lean towards a more Libertarian position regarding politics.

The constant spewing of profanity in typed context is an obvous sign of limited cranial development. You might need to see a doctor about that... (snicker)

loungin' on the porch...

The Dog

-- The Dog (dogdesert@hotmail.com), April 18, 2001.


Oh Dog, I use all my brain power solving difficult programming problems so the only thing left in my brain is a lot of Fuck You's and Up Yours. If you want, I might be able to teach you how to cuss like a sailor but you might be too intellectual. Just so you know, I am a libertarian too. Have you noticed how the fucking repugs are trying to tell us all how to live? Fuck the repugs! They are in bed with the moral majority creeps. If Jesus Christ were alive today he would be gunned down by the CIA! (you have noticed that Poppy was in charge of the CIA at one point, right?)

-- Tony Baloney (Fuck the@repugs.com), April 18, 2001.

Brain Power? You simple sack of shit! The only difficult programming problems you face are how to set your VCR timer for the Jerry Springer Show.

-- Tiny (meat@tiny.mind), April 18, 2001.

Ouch Tiny burned me with his 7 watt brain! I hope your a repug Tiny because you fit right in. You know what they say Tiny? Then tell us so we will all know. If you quit playing with your Tiny meat while your typing you might be able to type more. You are such a pussy! You fucking repug!

-- Pinky (Fuck the@repugs.com), April 18, 2001.

Pinky? That about sizes it up!

-- Stinky (Pinky@tiny.winky), April 18, 2001.

You poor guy, being a liberal I can't help feeling sorry that you have a pinky size dick. It must really suck being a repug and all. You poor brainless twit. Why not just kill yourself?

-- Pinky (Fuck the@repugs.com), April 19, 2001.

If you wouldn't let Clinton baby sit your daughter but do trust the bastard with my freedom, you are a fucking liberal. If you feel the media has a conservative slant, you are a fucking liberal. If you don't think the media has any bias then you work for it and you are a fucking liberal. -- It also means you don't have a clue why you're losing viewers, readers and credibility. Try selling the Truth! It would be more shocking than a Jerry Springer episode. If you feel the only thing wrong with Communism was the wrong man was in charge, you are a fucking liberal. If you want to take everything I've worked for and give it to some low life scum, you are a fucking liberal. If you feel character doesn't matter because your political candidate is devoid of any, you are a fucking liberal. If you think the Republicans in Congress are just a bunch of spineless bastards selling out our freedoms and passing the same old tax and spend budgets, as likely as not you're a conservative. -- How the hell did that get in here. If you believe the First Amendment covers burning and/or shitting on the flag of the United States of America but want Rush Limbaugh banned from the air-waves for hate speech, you are a fucking liberal. If you don't feel Clinton is a liberal but voted for him twice because Republicans would eat your children, you are a fucking liberal. If you feel all the problems in your life are my fault, you are a fucking liberal. If you believe self-esteem can be given without being earned, you are a fucking liberal. If you have to spend time telling people, you're "not a liberal" then you are a fucking liberal. If you are Roger, who calls all the conservative radio talk shows and doesn't want to be called "Red Roger," you are a fucking liberal. [Roger's lawyer has advised me to add the disclaimer, "Roger doesn't feel he's a fucking liberal."] If you even use the word "homophobic," you are a fucking liberal. If you want any voice that disagrees with you silenced, you are a fucking liberal. If you have never used the phrase, "extreme liberal," you probably write for UPI/Reuters. If you feel talking about Pearl Harbor is "mean spirited," you are a fucking liberal. If you want me to pay for that elitist crap, even you won't watch on PBS, a forth rate network that can't even beat CBS in the rating for God's sake, not only do you have you head up your ass and your hand on my wallet, you are a fucking liberal. If you feel Bill Gates has to much Goddamn money, you are a fucking liberal. If you've bored to death everyone, who couldn't escape your presence, by explaining you're a "moderate," you are a fucking liberal. If you feel Clinton is a good president, good looking and good in bed, you're Eleanor Clift or Nina Burleigh, a former White House correspondent who covered the White House for Time. If you call me a racist, you are a fucking liberal. If you stay up late at night drinking with me and telling me you're more conservative than I am, you are a fucking liberal. If you want the government to pay for suing me because I hurt your feeling, you are a fucking liberal.

-- The Vast Right Wing (kill_all_liberals@hotmail.com), January 22, 2002.

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