Just wanted to take the time to remind all of you who are still blessed with your spouces, to appreciate them more. Mine has been gone for 2 1/2 yrs. and I have noticed more and more how much he really did do around here. For instance, just today - the automatic garage door broke, my daughter and I "tried" to fix it and made it worse(the chain on the track went flying off and we broke one part)and now I can't find the manual (typical), the rain gutters needed some attention and we were both on the roof hanging over the side (and I hate heights), the basement wall is wet from all this rain we've been having and has flooded a portion of the basement (I have 2 de-humidifiers running). This is just ONE day! I have been so frustrated lately at times I could stand and cry. I have a single brother who helps but isn't always thrilled when we make the call. I tell ya, life ain't easy! I know we'll get up and over this hump but it sure gets tough! Give your husband or wife a hug and kiss and let them know how much you do appreciate them helping out!

-- Pat (mikulptrc@aol.com), April 13, 2001

Answers

Pat, you're absolutely right. I sympathize with your situation, it can't be easy. When my husband was a pilot in the military for 20 years, I used to get up at all hours of the night to fix his breakfast and a lunch to take with him. Then go back to bed and get up to get the kids off to school and myself off to work. The rest of the wives all thought I was nuts, and resented it when their husbands told them I did it. However, one older gal at a luncheon once told them to leave me alone, she would give anything to be able to get up at 2am and fix her husband breakfast before a flight...he had been killed in a plane crash and she had been a widow for several years. Hang in there, even for those with spouses still with them, they aren't always there when ya need them, but we all should appreciate each other more. Thanks for the reminder. Jan

-- Jan in CO (Janice12@aol.com), April 14, 2001.

Pat, You're absolutely right...folks should never take their "significant other" for granted. My husband and I will be celebrating our 30th anniverary on 4/19. He has been a heaven-sent gift for me and I really don't know what I'd do without him. I cannot begin to imagine to pain you must have gone through losing your husband. Now....if I could just learn how to sleep through the snoring!!!!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), April 14, 2001.

i dont know how i would manage without my wife i love her so much we work as a team and rarely argue at all and then about only little silly things and its over we love each other like teenagers makes her sisters jeliouse she could never be replaced ,my exwife on the other hand would sit and think of things to fight about and made my life a living hell would nag for somthing and then deny ever asking for the nagged for request .my greatest regret in life is not meeting my present wife earlyer i look forward to a long life with her.

-- george darby (windwillow@fuse.net), April 14, 2001.

Pat, There are many places on the web where you can find all kinds of solutions to your home repair needs. You can post a question and a technician or someone with some knowledge of the problem will more than likely respond. Follow this link to a pretty good one: http://www.doityourself.com/ Good Luck.

-- Glenn (gj_usa1@yahoo.com), April 15, 2001.

I certainly agree that you don't want to take your spouse for granted, but you could expand that to family and friends! I lost my mother to lung cancer when I was only 22 years old. Time does heal, but it took me about 10 years to heal. I know that my mother could get on my nerves, but I sure would like her to be able to now! Life is full of surprises, both good and bad. Tell your family and friends how you feel about them, because they - or yourself for that matter - could be gone tomorrow. Hope you get to feeling better.

-- Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania (KIRKLBB@PENN.COM), April 15, 2001.

My wife Dena (after 17 years and 2 kids) is still the 2nd best choice I ever made after Jesus. Jim Deweese

-- Jim Deweese (jedeweese@juno.com), April 16, 2001.

I agree. My Wife is the best thing I ever did. Period. Everything else is branched off of her, Kids , critters, farm , and basic desire to be and do. Maybe some day I can be a good enough hubby.

-- Tom (Calfarm@msn.com), April 16, 2001.

I have two viewpoints on this one. I was married the first time for 28 years and two weeks. She died in April (22) of 1994. Naturally I was crushed. You miss them more each time something familar happens. Something new, the birth of our first grandchild which she never saw. In fact never new the little guy was on the way. For some reason, that one hit me pretty hard. I know my daughter misses her two. But, the cycle continues. I married a wonderful woman, 100 % different from my first wife. She is also 16 years younger than me, in fact is only 5 years older than my daughter. Having lost a soulmate once, makes me feel luckier than I ought to be to have found such a woman. Hang in there Pat. Your husband would have wanted you to be happy. It's over two years......step out a little.....

Hug. Rick

-- Rick Powell (rpowell@email.ccis.edu), April 17, 2001.

HI PAT. I AGREE WITH YOU . I LOST MY FIRST HUSBAND SUDDENLY AFTER 29YRS,7MONTHS AND 2 WEEKS. HE WAS ONLY 50. HE PASSED AWAY SUDDENLY AND WE WERE DEVASTATED. WHEN YOU HAVE A GOOD SPOUSE THAT LOVES ANDWILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED.My faith and my children,grandchildren and friends. You never realize what you have until it's gone. Mike, always kissedme before he went to work. So when I left for my Nursing Office little did I know that it was the last time. I was able to heal and help others. Almost 2 years later I married my High School Sweetheart. His wife passed away the month before my Husband. Almost a year later he came b ACK TO uPSTATE NY TO LIVE. WE FELL IN Love and were married. I thank God for 2 wonderful Husbands. I also take one day at a time.

-- PRISCILLA (GP83196@AOL.COM), April 19, 2001.

[[[[[Pat]]]]] <-- that's a big hug.

Dad passed on six years ago, I miss chatting with him. And wish he could play with his granddaughter.

It took me 30 years to find my wife, And I know how lucky I am to have a great woman. Someone who shares my values, we've yet to have a real arguement. Yes, we sometimes do not agree, but we work out the details.

-- (perry@ofuzzy1.com), April 19, 2001.