From the Houston Chronicle Thank You, Bill Clinton

A Legacy to be Proud of

by Derek Copold "In reflecting upon our current international situation, I'd like to take the time to thank Bill Clinton. Bill may be living the good life, playing hero to his adulatory black fans by day, tomcatting in Manhattan by night, but it's us who gets to pay the bill, and I'm not just talking about his retirement pay. Remember, this is the time when we're supposed to be able to reap the fruits of his famous legacy. Well, the first fruit has fallen from that tree, and it's a prolonged imprisonment for 24 American servicemen by the Red Chinese forces. Don't you feel lucky? I'm sure they do. The reason I point to it as a part of Bill Clinton's legacy is that the situation is worse than it would normally be because, thanks to Bill, the nation now finds itself bereft of friends. The silence from the international community over this incident is truly deafening. With the exception of a few states, whose status can only be charitably described as bought and paid for with U.S. aid, no one really gives a damn that an American aircraft operating in international airspace was seized by another power. In fact, I daresay, many countries are secretly enjoying this spectacle. The oddness of this situation is that China has so many natural enemies, but we can't turn to any of them for assistance because we've so offended them, that they now see us as their new enemy rather than the Chinese. Instead of the totalitarian Chinese being on the outside looking in, they're the ones looking out at us and laughing all the while with their newfound buddies. Thank you, Bill Clinton. Russia is one of these unexpected Chinese pals. A land that has battled the Chinese for centuries over territory, Russia has been turned into an enemy by the Clinton administration's deceit in Kosovo and the outright bargain-breaking expansion of NATO into eastern Europe. Admittedly, the truculence of the Bush administration hasn't helped, but compared to the antics of Clinton and his pet harpy Madeline Albright, these past tête-à-tête's have been minor. At the beginning of the decade, Russian President Boris Yeltsin called the United States his country's "best friend." After eight years of Bill Clinton, this same person was ominously reminding the world, especially America, that Russia still had nuclear weapons. Thank you, Bill Clinton. In other times, we could have turned to either India or Pakistan for diplomatic assistance, but India is incensed by our economic sanctions against them, which Bill Clinton imposed due to their having nuclear weapons, none of which will ever threaten our shores. On the other side of the Himalayas, our one-time Cold War ally Pakistan feels betrayed because Clinton mindlessly applied the same sanctions to them because they were threatened by the Indian nukes, so they went out and tested their own. What else would you do if your blood enemy starting detonating nukes next door? (Don't bother to figure out the American logic operating here; there isn't any.) Amazingly, we've managed to get India and Pakistan to agree on one thing: they both hate us. Thank you, Bill Clinton. The Muslim world, which is seriously disturbed by China's suppression of the Muslim majority in Xianjang, won't go out of their way to help us either. We've used up any good will we built up with them during the Gulf War by continuing a pointless starvation regime against Iraq, of which our chief harpy said of the 500,000 who have resultantly died, "It's worth the price." In addition to this, our meddling in local politics, like supporting a military coup in Algeria, hasn't exactly filled the phone lines and telegram offices with 'thank you' calls from the Muslim world. Oh, and finally, using Sudanese aspirin factories and empty tents in Afghanistan as media distractions hasn't earned us any points either. Thank you, Bill Clinton. Europe might be a more active friend, but they really have no reason to be. After eight years of being harangued and dragged through the Balkans on one adventure after the next by the Clinton administration, the French and the Germans are now looking to solidify their ties with the Russians, so as to weaken us. The British are ever eager to be helpful, but they've so subordinated themselves to our dictates under Tony Blair at Bill Clinton's insistence, that no one really gives a damn about what they think anymore, if indeed they are capable of thinking for themselves. Thank you, Bill Clinton. So that's the score. Thanks to Bill Clinton's all towering ego combined with an unmatched degree of truculence, we're alone in the world. You just can't buy this kind of legacy, but you sure do have to pay for it. 24 military prisoners in Hainan are now making the first down payment on these bills Bill has run up. Let's hope they get a chance to thank him as well.

-- Pat him (on@the.back), April 04, 2001

Answers

I just love to see the Bush fans scrambling to pin all of his screwups on Clinton. Just like y'all say whenever a Gore fan brings up the Florida recount. . .

Get over it. Bush is President

Like it or not, these screwups are his.

-- (Bush@Is.President), April 04, 2001.

The New York Times

April 4, 2001

LIBERTIES

The Tyro's Twister

By MAUREEN DOWD WASHINGTON — Yellow ribbons. Energy crisis. Economic yips. The president shrinking into a tiny little figure in political cartoons.

We're not getting Bush II. We're getting Carter II. All we need is the Killer Rabbit. And that is not where you want to be at the beginning of your presidency.

This is supposed to be a business- friendly, Harvard M.B.A. administration, but every time W. opens his mouth the markets tumble.

The White House had to wait until 4 p.m., when the markets closed, to let the president come out to the Rose Garden and start talking tough to China. Those little red Nasdaq and Dow numbers diving next to W.'s mouth moving would have undermined the image of American strength.

"The only issue now is whether his statements will drive down the Japanese markets," said one member of Bush II.

The only time W. has any luck with numbers is when it comes to counting and recounting the vote in Florida.

An already retro administration became even more vintage yesterday, with our spy plane "detained" in Communist territory. First we get in a tussle with Russia. Now China. Let's get out the yellow paint and start touching up those fallout shelter signs.

During the campaign, W. vowed, "We'll have a foreign policy that is humble." Humble is fine. But humbled is not so fine.

W. was green when he ran. But he promised to surround himself with gray. His inner circle — Cheney, Rummy, Condi and Colin — was supposed to offer a couple of hundred years of combined experience in government.

After the adolescent Clinton era, the grown-ups were back in charge.

So why has this crowd made all of us — including the rest of the world — so nervous?

Because, as a top foreign policy official in Bush I told me, they are too belligerent, too conservative, too blunt, too negative and too improvisational in dealing with the globe on everything from missile defense to Kyoto.

Alluding to the "Grumpy Old Men" foreign policy of Dick & Rummy as they advise the Tyro in Chief on how to handle Russia, China, Taiwan, Korea and the Middle East, an editorial in a leading German paper recently dubbed the new American president "Bully Bush." You know you're in trouble when the Germans complain you are too bellicose.

Even though his administration has been arrogant, W. still seems tentative when he ventures out to draw a line in the sand.

"You're never quite sure," somebody in the administration conceded, "if those papers in front of W. blew away in the wind, if he would know what to say."

If W. has to be supervised by officials who are in loco parentis, I would prefer the real parents. At least George Bush senior is not a wingnut, and at least he was a diplomat in China.

When Bill Clinton was president, he was always plunging into personal chaos.

His management style was a mess. He ran a college-dorm White House. Meetings did not start on time. He pulled all-nighters. There were endless debates and endless greasy pizza deliveries. His private life was always exploding.

But outside his twister, things were palmy in the country and the markets.

W. is in a genial bubble. But outside his inner peace, the world looks more and more like a twister. He's taking naps and knocking off early while the rest of us are getting jittery and losing sleep.

The Bush organization men start every meeting on time and end every meeting on time. They have a ban on beepers and cell phones during press conferences, and a ban on sloppy clothes.

But everything outside the smoothly running White House is not smooth.

Seventy-five days into the Bush regime and I'm a wreck. I'm afraid to drink the water. I'm afraid to breathe the air. I'm afraid glaciers will melt and seas will rise. I'm afraid to visit California in the dark. I'm afraid the Dow will dip below 5,000. I'm afraid Russia will take leave of its senses. I'm afraid China will take leave of its senses. I'm afraid North Korea will lob a missile our way.

At the rate things are reeling backward, soon I'll be fearing fear itself.

Copyright 2001 The New York Times Company | Privacy Information

-- Pam (Pam@j.o.e), April 04, 2001.

Get over it. Bush is President

Finally one of you wakes up to the truth.

-- Tell Cherri and Future Shock (pppp@pppp.pppp), April 04, 2001.

Was it Clinton's fault also when the Navy submarine, joyriding with all those Bush campaign donors, sunk the Japanese fishing boat?

-- hey dumbass (answer@me.this), April 04, 2001.

Didn't Clinton design that submarine?

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), April 04, 2001.

Pam-- I agree with Maureen Dowd, but her piece is merely an analysis of how things look on the surface. Gawd forbid that it's really true behind closed doors.

I also agree with the comment in the Houston piece that Maidelame Half-bright is a harpy. In fact, I've never seen such a stupid ass of a woman. I believe that Clinton, being disinterested in foreign policy, just let her have free reign, unfortunately-- resulting in our "drive-by" bombing of Kosovo-- which resulted in a formal alliance between Russia and China-- which results in the problem today of China's brazen and seemingly reckless actions of late.

-- Miss Ann Thrope (Madashell@aintgonnatakeit.com), April 05, 2001.

Yes indeed, THANK YOU Bill Clinton!

At least for 8 years things were going well.

Now in 2 months and one week, Dumbya the dumb fuck has managed to fuck it all up.

I wish to hell you could come back Bill.

-- (kill the shrub @ bring back. bill), April 05, 2001.

From New York Daily News

It's Not the Heat, It's the Humidor

Speaking of Bill Clinton — you may have read in this paper on Sunday that the former President was presented with a humidor during a dinner in Washington last week. But I've learned that, while the gesture was appreciated, it caused a very awkward moment.

It happened at the Italian Embassy in Washington, at an event honoring Clinton for his administration's work to help victims of brain injuries. A lot of people were there to voice their gratitude, including former White House press secretary James Brady, shot in the head during the attempt on President Ronald Reagan's life in 1981, and actor Gary Busey, who suffered a near-fatal head injury in 1988, when he lost control of his motorcycle

Then came the presentation of the humidor to Clinton by an embassy official. This might have been a swell idea — had not the recipient suffered international embarrassment for reportedly using a cigar as a sex toy. For a second, you could have heard a pin drop.

Clinton's spokeswoman, Julia Payne, had heard about the gift but was unaware of her boss' reaction to the humidor. It couldn't have been too harsh, considering that he reportedly walked into a cigar shop at London's Heathrow Airport on Tuesday and purchased a 6-inch Cuban cigar for the American equivalent of nearly $12.

"He has been given humidors and cigars before," says Payne. "I realize the double entendre, but this is not something his friends have stopped giving him."

-- Close (but@no.cigar), April 05, 2001.

"Now in 2 months and one week, Dumbya the dumb fuck has managed to fuck it all up."

Or more likely, the lack of Clinton's lies and illusions is starting to reveal the truth about what his administration has really done to this America. No new president could be responsible for what is going to happen to us courtesy of the Clinton co-presidency.

-- One (-@who.knows), April 05, 2001.

Sounds like a blanket excuse. I guess for the next four years, every mishandled crisis will be blown off with the phrase "Clinton did it,"

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), April 05, 2001.

It's very simple, Clinton is responsible for anything bad that happens.

Bush is responsible for anything good that happens.

This international incident as bad, therefore it is Clinton's fault, much like mad cow and hoof and mouth disease. The bad economy is also Clinton's fault.

The budget surplus we have is good, therefore Bush is completely responsible for having created it. If anything bad happens to it as a result of Bush's policies, it will be Clinton's fault.

I hope that makes it clear.

-- (ClintonBad@Bush.Good), April 05, 2001.

Thanks to Bill Clinton's all towering ego combined with an unmatched degree of truculence, we're alone in the world.

Just how stupid dou the media think we are to follow that propaganda over what we have seen with our own minds (except the Bush sheeple who feed on this stuf). Clinton did more for easing world tentions than any other American President. Bush insults the leaders of other major countried before he is even seated in his bought throne. His down-home good-ole-boy mentality that demands he is right, can do no wrong and so demands apology from the chinese before he bothers to find out the detaild. Oh yes, he doesn't need details, he has surrounded himself with people who do the thinking he is unable to do. But his southern pride won't let no ferrener, specially one that looks like an american MINORITY shove him around and tell him what to do.

Funny how Clinton had the tact and ability to defuse many foriegn situations, But Bush??? even his keepers sre peeing on themsleves worrying what he will decid to do next. Don't blame it on Clinton...

-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), April 05, 2001.

Maureen Dowd is a blind old bat. If she bothered to notice, NASDAQ fell by 60% since LAST March. The economic downturn is at least a year old.

-- libs are idiots (moreinterpretation@ugly.com), April 05, 2001.

Cherri-- I'll stand with you in your view with the exception of the "southern" reference. Being a Southerner, I can attest that some of us are capable of analytical thinking.

Having said that, I view Bush and his cronies as the typical "black and white" thinkers of the Cold War. Events, relationships, politics and life in general are compartmentalized into rigid constructs of "right" or "wrong;" them or us; right or left; and my way or the highway. It's one way or the other-- no shades of gray or subtle nuiances for them.

This "cold war" mentality and rigid thinking are the underlying factors behind Bush's (mis)handling of this Chinese incident. So far, his tough, simplistic and unyielding statements have pushed the Chinese into a corner, which will take quite a bit of negotiation to straighten out.

-- Miss Ann Thrope (Madashell@aintgonnatakeit.com), April 05, 2001.

Cherri:

You continue to attack southerners as a group, and wash them with the same color of your brush. I know that you are more intelligent than this.

Please stop this bigotry, hatred and prejudice against the fine people of the south.

-- I'm (jestadumbol@pilot.com), April 05, 2001.

"I'm",

Doncha know, it's ok to mock poor whites, "trailer trash", Southerners. and those of Anglo descent. Just don't criticize any other racial/regional or ethnic group.

Those are the rules as of today, subject to immediate change.

-- (Paracelsus@Pd.Au), April 05, 2001.

An exception = Christians, regardless of race or region. What igorunt, irritating fools they be.

-- (Paracelsus@Pb.Au), April 05, 2001.

Just went to a seminar given by an economist from Stanford. He thought that the present downturn would be worse because: Wallstreet [whoever they are] considered the Bush tax cut retro; that is it would put most of the money in the hands of the higher income folks and thus not spark consumer spending [most of the economy]. Since he is a conservative, he is probably wrong. Wouldn't you say?

Best Wishes,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), April 05, 2001.

You're right, Paracelsus, and I'm certainly glad this has finally been brought out into the open. The anti-Christian bias in our society has reached absurd proportions. Consider this list which I shamelessly stole from another website:

During the 1988 election campaign, George Bush said that Christians should not be considered patriots or real American citizens.

Both major political parties are dominated by anti-Christians. The Republican party, for example, gave us such hard-core atheists as Pat Buchanan, Dan Quayle, Phyllis Schlafly and Ronald Reagan. And the Democrats have given us such personalities as the Rev. Martin Luther King and the Rev. Jesse Jackson-- both noted for their vicious attacks on all forms of Christianity.

Let's talk about the media. On Sunday mornings, nearly all major television channels broadcast pro-atheist shows; it is nearly impossible to find religious programming during that time period. Further, Madalyn Murray O'Hair had her own cable TV channel, while Pat Robertson has been unable to obtain one for himself.

Most major newspapers run a special weekly section devoted to atheism. There are no equivalent sections for religious news.

Anti-Christian shows such as the American Atheist Forum are broadcast by major national networks. Meanwhile, Billy Graham is only able to get on the air through public access TV, which is watched by few people.

It is almost impossible to find a shopping mall with a Christian Armory book store, while Atheist Book Centers are featured prominently on every corner.

While atheists couples who marry rarely have any difficulty finding a place to do so, it is nearly impossible for Christian couples to find a church where they can marry.

For that matter, churches themselves are extremely rare, while atheist meeting centers can be found every few blocks.

Recently, several atheists have shot and killed Christian priests as they were going to work in their churches. Similarly, atheists are well known for blockading churches on Sunday mornings.

Nearly all of our elected public officials are atheists; they even have to swear on a copy of Darwin's "Origin of Species" in order to take office.

In a similar vein, jurors must take an oath upon a copy of the Skeptical Inquirer before they can serve. There have even been court cases thrown out because one of the jury members was a Christian who insisted on swearing on a Bible.

And of course, people are free to wear pentagram jewelry, but those trying to wear cross-shaped earrings or pendants to work will be politely told to remove the jewelry or lose their job.

Speaking of the workplace, Christians often find it nearly impossible to get time off work for religious holidays such as Christmas.

Even our language reflects the radical anti-Christian bias that pervades our society. For example, when somebody sneezes, most people say "Darwin bless you". Similarly, "Voltaire dammit!" is a common cussword.

All of our money has the atheistic slogan "We do not trust in God" printed on it.

In school, our children are made to recite the pledge, "One nation, anti-God, indivisible...."

One cannot rent a hotel room without finding a copy of Nietzsche's The Anti-Christ in the room. (

Organizations such as the Boy Scouts deny membership to Christians.

In the military, it is nearly impossible to obtain Conscientious Objector status for religious reasons, even though those with philosophical reasons can obtain C.O. status relatively easily.

Christian churches are forced to pay exorbitant taxes.

Georgia recently passed a new law requiring schools to have a "moment of noise" during which children are encouraged to degrade Christianity.

College campuses usually have dozens of atheist organizations, but few if any for Christians.

Also common on college campuses are groups of students handing out copies of Betrand Russell's "Why I Am Not A Christian"; some even force people who don't want these books to take them.

Many Christians are afraid to admit their Christianity to their parents and friends, for fear their kin will consider them immoral Christian scum and want nothing to do with them.

For decades, high school and college commencement ceremonies have included brief speeches at the beginning and end of the ceremony in which atheism is praised and Christians deemed irrational. Christians who object to the practice, or who ask for an opening prayer instead, are regarded as cranks at best and subversives at worst.

Not only do commencement ceremonies feature pro-atheist speeches, there's usually an entire two-hour ceremony the day before graduation dedicated to upholding the atheist foundation of our educational system.

"There are no Christians in foxholes" is a popular slogan in our society.

Most hospitals are full of atheist symbols, and many prominently feature statues of Nietszche, Darwin, and so forth.

At baseball games, you can often spot people carrying signs that read "Origin Of Species, page 34".

Hospital waiting rooms usually come equipped with children's copies of Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time", complete with order forms so that parents can send off for their own copy.

Atheist magazines such as "Atheism Today", "Today's Atheist Woman", "Atheist Homeschooler", "The Atheist Century", "Atheist Ministry", "The Atheist Archeological Review", "Atheist Parenting Today" and "The Atheist Science Monitor" are featured prominently in newsstands across the country.

According to recent Gallup polls, approximately 86% of Americans do not believe in God.

Politicians often refer to America's "Agnosto-Atheist heritage" when trying to woo voters.

Atheists are beginning to subvert the American political process. For example, the American Atheists recently published over thirty million voter's guides for distribution at atheist meeting-houses. These guides gave specific instructions note to vote for those who oppose atheist values.

It's easy to buy checks with quotes from Thomas Paine, but almost impossible to buy checks with Bible verses on them.

Businesses often refuse to admit that they are Christian owned and operated, for fear of being boycotted by their atheist customers. Meanwhile, atheist-owned businesses often feature Darwin-fish logos in their ads.

There are large networks of atheistic private schools in America, while it's nearly impossible to find a private Catholic school.

Atheists have often invented "deathbed deconversion" stories about famous Christians, claiming they became atheists just before they died.

Around the time of Darwin's birthday, Christians have to put up with songs about Darwin, which are played in shopping malls, restaurants, and even public restrooms.

We number our calendar years according to the number of years that have passed since Darwin's brithday. (Hence the term "A.D"-- "After Darwin".)

Christian gatherings and funerals are often disrupted by atheists shouting slurs and holding signs that read, "Nature hates Christians." (

Books which promote Christianity are often removed from library shelves in response to atheist pressure groups.

A popular bumper sticker reads, "No Jesus, Know Peace. Know Jesus, No Peace."

Sports teams often read from the Humanist Manifesto prior to the game, in the hopes that doing so will increase their chances of winning.

Atheists constantly threaten television and movies producers with boycotts whenever they portray Christianity in a positive light.

Atheists often hold bonfires at atheist meeting centers, where Christian literature can be thrown into the fire.

Gambling is freely legalized for secular purposes, yet churches have to have their bingo halls in Las Vegas, Atlantic City or on Indian reservations.

Well-known atheists like Michael Martin and Quentin Smith have set up ministries to witness to Christians, but it is virtually impossible to find Christians who specialize in debating atheists.

Congress starts each session with selected excerpts from Michael Martin's Atheism: A Philosophical Justification. Each house of Congress also has its own "Atheist Chaplain". No Christian prayers are ever made in Congress and no Christian chaplains are available.

The word "Christian" is recognized as a term which represents the worst of human attributes: cynicism, pessimism, selfishness, and moral turpitude. The word "Atheist," on the other hand, is used to signify all that is virtuous, as in, "That's mighty Atheist of you!"

On sitcoms and movies of the week, the parents make references to how their lack of faith in God helps them get through life's troubles. Meanwhile, Christians are protrayed as pathetic folks who end up converting to atheism.

Many American cities are named after noted atheist figures; for example, there is Corpus Darwini, Texas and San Voltaire, California.

Historically, most private colleges and universities in the US were founded by atheists; while some have become religious over the years, many of them retain close ties with atheist organizations, and some of them still use hiring practices that exclude Christians from their faculty and staff. (And this discrimination against Christians is permitted and protected by law!)

Atheists who convert to christianity are often told by their parents "It's just a rebellious phase. Once you move through this stage of life you'll realize that you never really believed in God." Similarly, people who are raised as Christians are condesended to, and told that if they would give atheism a chance, it would fill the empty hole that Chistianity must be leaving in their lives.

During the 1996 election campaign, Pat Buchanan declared that creationism should not be taught in public schools. "We need a president who will commit himself to restoring secular humanist values and driving out the false god of the Christians," he said.

Atheists regularly go door-to-door on Sunday mornings asking people not to go to church with them.

In general, Christians are considered to be less-than-honest. If you are a Christian, you must have no reason or rational judgment; therefore, you cannot be trusted to tell the truth.

Prisoners have become wise to the fact that they may receive early paroles if they claim to have found Atheism and been saved by Darwin. Such a conversion to rationality is thought to be a favorable sign of the rejection of a life of crime.

The Humanist Left and the Immoral Majority influence voting patterns in the Humanist Manifesto Belt states.

Atheist leaders of many sects bring in millions of dollars each week from TV and telephone solicitation and weekly meeting collections, enough to support at least one Atheist meeting hall in nearly every community in the country, while Christian groups barely have enough money to support a half-dozen national groups.

Despite the overwhelming number of Atheists in the general population and in powerful legislative positions, when they don't get their own way, Atheists whine that this is an anti-Atheistic country.

Atheists constantly cite, out of context, books of philosophy by noted Atheists to prove that Christians live irrational lives.

Atheists do everything possible to get laws passed that will prevent irrational Christians from making their own choices in matters of sex, procreation, life-styles, family units, etc. Until recently, Atheists had passed laws (known as Green Laws) that require all businesses to stay open on Sundays, preventing Christians who wished to practice their religious beliefs to work, just like everyone else.

At every banquet, no matter the occasion, an Atheist propagandist gets up and thanks Madalyn Murray O'Hair for her wisdom and insight in educating us rational beings so that we can provide the food that we are about to eat. The presence of non-Atheists is not even acknowledged. No consideration is given to those who might find such a practice offensive.

Schools across the country force students to sing songs such as "Jesus Is Not the Son of God" during the Winter Solstice season. They rationalize this infringement on minority rights of religious freedom by claiming the songs are part of our collective culture.

Atheist Army (and other Freethought) soup kitchens force homeless Christians to listen to Atheist propaganda before serving them a meal.

Hundreds of self-help groups replace codependence with the 12 Steps of A.B.A. (Atheist Brainwashing Anonymous), convincing people they don't have the power to help themselves but must rely on the power of Darwin to overcome addiction.

U.S. Atheist organizations send missionaries to underdeveloped countries to convince people to renounce long-held local religious beliefs and become Atheists.

Christian employees have to use personal days or sick leave to stay at home to celebrate their holidays while everyone gets the day off for Winter Solstice and the birthdays of Charles Darwin and Madalyn Murray O'Hair. All major Atheist celebrations have been declared National Holidays with all government offices remaining closed on those days.

Ronald Reagan denounced the Vatican as the "Heavenly Empire" because of its official status as a theocracy.

When someone is pathetic enough to admit to being a Christian, friends respond by saying things like, "No you're not. You just think you are."

Christians are unfairly scrutinized for wearing t-shirts that say things such as "God's Gym" or "Resurrection Day", whereas atheists can proudly and without any protest wear their "Reasons Beer is Better than Jesus" or Darwin fish t-shirts.

Christians are constantly questioned as to where their morals come from. People always wonder why they have a reason to live, if god is the only thing they live for. Atheists, on the other hand, are praised for their high moral standards, and it is acknowledged that they don't need a reason to live--just "being" is enough.

Each year, the U.S. Post Office is nearly brought to its knees as both devout and "cultural" Atheists celebrate Lucretius' birth by sending each other anti-religious cards and illuminated copies of De Rerum Natura.

NBC has shows that promote reason and skepticism in the face of Biblical prophecy or lone pseudoscientists while shows that promote irrational beliefs are on PBS and never reach as many people.

Noted atheists own "The Family Channel" and show programming that they find appropriate for other atheists.

The shows "Ignored by an Angel" and "Ultimately Illusory Highway to Heaven" are getting more and more viewers every week.

Judges often give long speeches on atheistic morality and use them as a basis for strange or lenient sentences.

All prisons have a resident atheist philosopher, and inmates are encouraged to participate in weekly philophical dicussions on Bible Contradictions. This is often reported to parole board, who consider it a good indication of contritenes on the prisoner's part.

Relatively inoffensive movies, which might otherwise be rated G or PG, are likely to be rated PG-13 or R if they contain excessive religious content.

According to comedian George Carlin, the "seven holy words" that cannot be broadcast on television are "God," "Jesus," "Christ," "bless," "heaven," "salvation," and "soul."

A political candidate who declares himself a Christian will have far less chance of winning an election than one who flaunts his atheism.

Former president Franklin Roosevelt always reminded his speech writers to put "some of that anti-god stuff"in his speeches."

Every year in November, the President issues a proclamation for a national day of Thanksgiving, calling on Americans to spend the day thanking their parents for creating them and for all that they have done for them. No mention is ever made of the role of God in creating people, helping them acheive happiness, or keeping the country secure.

Similarly, after a major disaster the President usually calls for an official day of action; never is prayer suggested.

The President usually ends every speech with the words, "Let's all help America, since there is no God to do things for us."

Whenever an atheist commits a crime, invariably people will argue that this is not a sign that teaching atheism might not guarantee a better society, because anyone who would act that way "isn't a true atheist."

Bill Bennett compiles a long list of questionable statistics about increasing social ills in American society, and alleges that the increase is due to the "disasterous social experiment" that has abandoned our Agnosto-Athestic heritage in favor of Christianity. Likewise, when he publishes a thick, pompous volume of other people's work entitled "The Book of Reason", the media (notably Time magazine) swoons in rapture and the book becomes a best seller (but rarely read by the children it's bought for, as they are not so easily indoctrinated as their Atheist parents hope).

The Atheist Left labels itself "pro-responsibility" and "people of reason", implying that Christians are "anti-responsibility" and "people without reason".

Many Christians routinely use "Darwin devolve" as an expression of anger or disappointment even though they don't believe in Darwin. They have only picked up the phrase from their culture. Still, some Fundimentalist Atheists use this behavior as so-called "evidence" that all people are born believing in Darwin naturally.

One often sees bumper stickers like, "Thomas Paine said it, I believe it, that settles it," but seldom sees Christian bumper stickers.

Judges often rule in favor of the Atheist at a custody hearing, because Reason and Freethought are considered virtues, where belief in God makes you an unfit parent.

Atheist Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, in a speech given at an atheist non-prayer breakfast, declared that Christians are irrational for believing in miracles and the resurrection of Jesus. Scalia also complained that atheists are wrongly deemed "simple-minded" by the "worldly-wise."

Famous atheist Madalyn Murray-O'Hair was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal, America's highest civilian award, for her decades-long devotion to atheism and the separation of church and state. The Speaker of the House, the Senate majority leader, and the Vice President were on hand at the ceremony, which occurred on the National Day of Non-Prayer. The Congressional resolution noted Murray- O'Hair's "outstanding and lasting contributions to morality, racial equality, family, philanthropy, and atheism." In her acceptance speech, Murray-O'Hair called on all Americans to cleanse themselves of irrational religion and commit their lives to atheism. The Christian evangelist Billy Graham, of course, has never won this award and never will.

The sale of religious items is banned on sunday, which is considered a day of rational thought. Beer and wine can be purchased at anytime.

The Atheist Coalition and Immoral Minority currently have a tight grip on the balls of the democratic party.

Atheist organizations are given tax-free status that allows them to invest billions in non-Atheist interests, such as real estate, entertainment, utilities - and all these items come under the same tax-free status.

For years people in places like Ireland and the Middle East have been killing each other over the difference between Atheism and Humanism.

A prominent Atheist leader got his appendix removed and it received worldwide attention. The founder of American Christians (known as the most hated woman in America) is missing for over a year and the media hardly talks about it.

It is much easier to adopt a child if the prospective parents assert they are not Christians.

No U.S. president has ever been a Christian. In fact, every U.S. president other than Kennedy was a card-carrying Atheist. (Kennedy was a Secular Humanist instead, and didn't believe in carrying cards.)

If a charitable foundation is challenged in court, it is much easier to defend its charitable purpose if the foundation was established for non-religious purposes. Quoting a few passages from _Atheism: The Case Against God_ in its Mission Statement will usually do the trick.

When NBC shows programs about the paranormal, one hears an average of three sentences from pro-paranormal experts even though NBC's reporters may have interviewed these experts for hours. Comments from skeptics dominate the telecast.

A common bumper sticker is "Real men hate Jesus."

NBC often runs programs debunking the resurrection of Jesus, Therapeutic Touch, the power of prayer, the shroud of Turin, psy chic police, alien abductions, ancient prophesy, and delphic doomsday predictions.

The national anthem of Great Britain is "Save the Queen from God."

Greek creationists, who believe the ancient story of the creation of man by Prometheus, have demanded that the teaching of Genesis be stopped in Christian fundamentalist schools.

Jimmy Carter recently published a be st-selling book titled Religion: Destroying the Truth. Similarly, Robert Bork has written a best- selling book called America: Slouching Toward the New Jerusalem, explaining the pernicious influence of Christians and moral conservatives on America.

Nancy Reagan is famous for her promotion of "Religion: Just say no." Similarly, her husband Ronald frequently contributes articles debunking astrology to the Skeptical Inquirer.

American history books always portray indigenous peoples, blacks, atheists, agnostics, and freethinkers in a pos itive light. Christians, if they are ever mentioned at all, are portrayed as ignorant, irrational, ineffectual, naïve, and savage. Christian children often go home crying because of these distorted historical accounts.

Atheists make a big deal out of non-belief and will bring it up at every opportunity. Christians don't even talk about religion - even if they did, they'd be ridiculed and harassed.

Atheists expect everyone to believe exactly as they do and show no tolerance, even to agnostics or humanists. Christians take a "live and let live" attitude and, as long as no one tries to force the issue, don't care what others believe.

In many courthouses across the country inverted crosses and other anti-religious symbols figure prominently in judges' chambers and even in the court room itself. No one seems to consider that Christians might find this offensive.

American newspapers have recently made much of how Cuban dictator Fidel Castro is supposed to be rejecting his traditional conservative Christian values, and about the upcoming visit to Cuba of Francis Crick, the prominent biologist and outspoken atheist.

Scientists and thinkers such as Giordano Bruno who were executed by the church for their defense of reason are often held up as examples of courage and virtue, and are featured prominently in books and films. The martyrs of the early Christian church are rarely mentioned, if at all.

Children's toys depicting evolution are widely available, but Christians find it very difficult to purchase Noah's Ark toys.

Atheists have recently encouraged the boycotting of companies such as Disney for apparently pro-christian imagery in films and cartoons, and their supposed encouragement of heterosexuality.

A recent rally in Washington D.C. drew nearly a million athiest men, who promised to live their lives according to the 'Origin of Species'. During the rally, the men held signs with quotes from Nietzche and Ayn Rand, and often fell to their knees to offer reasoned arguments on evolutionary theories. News coverage of the event was almost entirely positive, despite the protests of a few groups who felt that the mens' "survival of the fittest" attitude may end up victimizing women.

This list only scratches the surface. It is high time that God- fearing Christians rose up and spoke out against the horrendous anti- Christian bias that has taken hold in America.

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), April 05, 2001.

Very cute Tarzan but the simple fact that it is PC among those who fancy themseves as sophisticates to mock Christians. What web site did you "shamelessly steal" this from?

-- (Paracelsus@Pb.Au), April 05, 2001.

Please read what the Canadian Prime Minister says.

President Bush's isolationist ideas were apparent in the debates last fall. As was his lack of knowledge of the world. He has brought this on himself and America----not Bill Clinton.

http://www.thestar.com/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer? pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=986441755569&call_ page=TS_News&call_pageid=968332188492&call_pagepath=News/News&col=9687 93972154

-- Pam (Pam@j.o.e), April 06, 2001.

Who is the Canadian Prime Minister?

Where is Canadia?

-- Amerikan (ejukatid@prowd.ovit), April 06, 2001.

My underarms stink - anyone got any right guard?

-- Lil Stinky (keepin@myArms.down), October 27, 2001.