Last night I went to our annual neighborhood Association meeting. It is held once per year! There were 60-70 people, mostly in their 60s. I was late, so who knows what I missed, but the rest.....WOW!

Lawn care for the entire neighborhood is contracted out. There was a spirited debate as to whether the cut grass should be bagged only in the front yards or in the side and back yards also. Basically the issue was aesthetics vs cost. Maybe there was an environmental angle also (I could have missed it when I inexplicably dozed). But I was ready for the vote. Alas, I was on the losing end. In their wisdom, the citizens voted for full-bagging! The assembled throng burst into applause when the results were announced. Even tho I lost, it was a thrilling moment.

The meeting never again achieved that drama but it remained taut. There was still the issues of new streetlights, heaving sidewalks (no, not heaving on sidewalks), drivers rolling thru stop signs, budget overrun due to higher than normal snow removal costs, the need for new and uniform mailboxes (in our neighborhood, uniformity as defined by the covenants, is a biggie) and voting for officers.

A suggestion was made that we establish a sister-city relationship with a town out East, Stepford. A committee was appointed to study the idea.

After two hours, the evening ended anti-climactically---no milk and cookies, no camaraderie with my close-knit neighbors. We just drifted away.

But I was left with a warmth and fulfillment. Democracy and community filled the air. What a country!

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), April 04, 2001

Answers

the need for new and uniform mailboxes (in our neighborhood, uniformity as defined by the covenants, is a biggie)

So this is what I have to look forward to in thirty years? Retirement community in which mailboxes are chosen by fiat. Bet you'd be tarred and feathered if'n you decided to spray paint your grass in alternating red & yellow stripes for a change of pace.

Like none of you have ever thought of doing this.

My prayers tonight shall include the following: Lord, lead me not into the arms of a neighborhood association, for that would be a test I could never endure.

Oh, but I'm sure it's perfect for you, Lars. :)

-- Rich (howe9@shentel.net), April 04, 2001.

Golly Gosh,Lars,I thought I lived in an exciting neighbourhood.The main topics here being centred around calves and cows in the spring, and bulls in the Autumn.Actually,I am fibbing a little bit as the real debate at the moment is about the relaxation of the movement protocols. "Movement of what?" you may ask.Well actually,calves & cows onto the spring grass and bulls into the market !

-- Chris (enquiries@griffenmill.com), April 04, 2001.

Watch out for the neighbor's wives in east stepford. Just a precaution.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), April 04, 2001.

LOL Rich!!!

I have often heard of these stories and have allways cringed at the notion,(please don't take offense Lars) but it would seem to me like I was living in the SLEZ board IRL,I could not survive,they would have my ass outa there as soon as my mailbox was converted to take on the appearance of something resembling a pigs ass,Or I made lawn flower planters outa beer kegs.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), April 04, 2001.

Lars, I have an elderly relative who lives in a community like that. She once went on and on for weeks about how one neighbor painted the INSIDE of her mailbox bright pink. My reaction at the time was something like: how do you know? and why do you care? Turns out that her world is so small one odd event because a focal point for weeks. She would've made a great coder!

-- kb8 (kb8um8@yahoo.com), April 04, 2001.

because = became

I am starting to lose it. Someone hand me some pink paint. I feel the urge to paint the inside of something

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), April 04, 2001.

Inside of what? ROFLMAO. KB, you ARE tooo much.

-- sumer (shh@aol.con), April 04, 2001.

SOMETHING, Sumer. Got any ideas?

-- kb8 (kb8um8@yahoo.com), April 04, 2001.

Well Kb8,when I get that mailbox up of mine maybe you can paint the insides of my pigs ass ; )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), April 04, 2001.

LOL, Capn. I trust that you'll provide the refreshments?

-- kb8 (kb8um8@yahoo.com), April 04, 2001.

Of course my friend,the cool refreshers are on moi,we should have them at the ground-breaking ceremony.In fact maybe we should have a mailbox raisin',and make a day of it!

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), April 04, 2001.

I'm game. It can't be any worse than painting my perspective father- in-law's garage with a bunch of in-laws (outlaws?) whom I've never met before. I guess this is what's passing for male bonding in that family. I wonder if I should practice standing around without a shirt on and spitting?

-- kb8 (kb8um8@yahoo.com), April 04, 2001.

I would think just showing up with a cooler full of cold beer would have you more than enamored with the fellers but your name might be mud with the women folk.Plus,it's a whole lot easier than paintin'.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), April 04, 2001.

They're all pink on the inside.....

-- Sam (wtrmkr52@aol.com), April 04, 2001.

But I was left with a warmth and fulfillment.

Shit your Depends again, did you Lars?

-- (@ .), April 04, 2001.

Find Phil Hendrie on AM. You'll just love Bobbie Doolie.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), April 05, 2001.

omg Carlos, is that lady for real?!

How bout the guy who drives the red sports car and thinks he should be able to park in handicapped spaces because he's rich. I forget his name LOL

-- (cin@cin.cin), April 05, 2001.