Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie - Important

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Link (with diagrams)

What Is An AFDB?

An Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a type of head-wear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind-control carriers. AFDBs are inexpensive (even free if you don't mind scrounging for thrown-out aluminium foil) and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of a chimp (maybe bonobo). This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind-control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.

What are you waiting for? Make one today!

Quick Instructions For Building An AFDB

1) Get a five foot sheet of aluminum foil (standard one foot wide Reynolds Wrap brand will do nicely.)

2) Fold the sheet four times into five equal segments so that you end up with a 1x1 foot square, making sure that you fold over the dull side of the foil leaving the square shiny on both sides.

3) Use scissors to cut from one corner of the square to the center, making a straight line.

4) Bend the foil from one side of the cut under the other, making a slight cone. Again, make sure that the outside of the cone has a shiny side of the foil; this is VERY important.

5) Place the cone on your head and squash the top and sides to make it fit snugly.

6) Apply Scotch tape liberally making sure to secure the cut in the foil and any form-fitting creases made in step 5.

7) Use more tape to secure AFDB to your cranium.

A Note About The Shiny Side:

It can't be stressed enough how important it is to have the shiny side pointing out. This is needed because the shiny side is most reflective to psychotronic radiation, while the dull side can actually, in certain environmental conditions, absorb it. However, as is illustrated in the instructions above, it is also wise to complement this with a layer of foil pointing shiny side in. This will keep your brain waves, which are also reflected by the shiny side, from being picked up by mind-reading equipment. There is a small number of aluminum foil researchers who believe that this may cause an alpha-wave harmonic to build up in the skull resulting in memory loss or pseudo-religious visions, but their findings have never been replicated by the aluminum foil research community at large. Even if their findings are validated, the risk involved is small compared to the potential of mind-intrusion.

Optional:

You may augment your AFDB with random bits of foil, wire, small electronic parts, etc..

Canadian coins should also be considered as they are high in nickel content. Nickel, while not having the psychotronic deflecting properties of aluminum (or even tin), can act to refract psychotronic beams, thereby helping to scrambling the mind-control signals as they are deflected off of the underlying aluminum surface of the AFDB. This will result in a lowered chance of retransmission of the signal.

However, you should avoid American and European coins at all costs as they contain aluminum based mind-control circuitry. Canadian coins are free of this threat mainly due to the Canadian governments's choice of neglecting psychotronic research in favor of research into giant robotics.

Tips:

Tinsel is made of plastic and has no anti-psychotronic attributes. Painting your AFDB with a latex based paint won't degrade its abilities, so you can be mentally safe AND color-coordinated too! "Beer can hats", though made out of aluminum cans, are not as effective as an AFDB since they have gaps inbetween the cans. You may, however, line a beer can hat with an AFDB or even glue the cans directly on an AFDB.

Usage And Maintenance Of Your AFDB

When To Use

As a matter of safety, you should wear your AFDB at all times since you never know when or where psychotronic signals will reach you. (Users of MindGuard are safe if they choose to be beanieless within its range but it would still be advisable to wear one; you never know when there will be a power failure.) Do not remove your AFDB before going to bed! When people are sleeping they are very vulnerable to mind-control and need all the protection they can get.

-- Dr. Shrink (-@shrinks.r.us), March 25, 2001

Answers

Thanks DS. This is important information for these trying times.

-- One Who Knows (OKW@wackos.r.us), March 25, 2001.

Post a picture of the hat in use!

-- (Weeble@wee.ble), March 25, 2001.

My favorite part is where the instructions say:

5) Place the cone on your head and squash the top and sides to make it fit snugly.

A nice way of saying "one size fits all".

-- Smiley (have@you.checked.the.dish.today?), March 25, 2001.


We need to send free samples to the following individuals and organizations: American Politics, World Net Daily, Michael Moore, Newsmax, Slate, Matt Drudge, Salon, and oh so many more.

-- Dr. Pibb (dr.pibb@zdnetonebox.com), March 25, 2001.

Boy, I hate to be the stick in the mud, but tinfoil (aluminum foil) isn't a very good shield against RF energy. It will stop the electrostatic component IF it's grounded properly (and how many people who wear the AFDB bother to run a piece of braided wire to a ground rod?), but it won't do much to the electromagnetic component.

For that, you need a ferrous material -- such as an old steel army helmet.

Take the helmet and line it with copper tape. Carefully solder a braid to the tape AND drill a hole through braid, tape and helmet; run a screw (with star washers) through the hole and tighten securely. Now run the braid to a good ground.

If this contraption is too heavy, rig up a sliding support across the ceiling to permit freedom of movement while wearing. One of those horizontal dog runs (available from K-Mart) will do nicely.

Of course, if you're REALLY serious, you could put copper cloth in the walls of your house and in the door panels of your car, but you'd also have to spray the windows with gold film (and ground it), unless you choose to use metal blinds (also carefully grounded from strap to strap with a piece of braid).

Just thought you'd like to know.

-- Stephen M. Poole (smpoole7@bellsouth.net), March 25, 2001.



Aluminium foil deflector beanies, or you could just cut off your head.

-- (nemesis@awol.com), March 25, 2001.

Stephen--

I live in a NASA approved clean-room/screen-room/anechoic chamber and I still hear those damn voices.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), March 25, 2001.


My cousin used to hear voices. It turned out that his braces were picking up a pirate radio station run by the neighborhood geeks. The voices stopped when the FCC busted 'em.

-- (Weeble@wee.ble), March 25, 2001.

We, at the Canadian Mint congratulate you on your helpful web-site. We have been using the AFDB for several months now and have found them to be highly reliable, particularly during staff meetings.

We wish to add that extensive studies carried out within our research facilities have shown that scrambling effects are most reliable when the AFDB has been lined, inside and out, with Canadian nickels. In addition, the placement of a loonie in accordance with the poles of the Earth, will also allow wearers of the AFDB to naturally navigate along magnetic lines. For your own protection, the loonies should be removed during the month of December when masses of snowbirds migrate to Florida.

-- Dr. I.M. Pulinyorlggski, MD (igor@canmint.org), June 30, 2001.


What a hysterical website! I have to tell you an absolutely true story. When I attended a Government school in 1976 there was a Chinese instructor who did line his baseball cap with tin foil and I heard he wore a metal bucket on his head at times. One day I saw him driving through a parking lot and what was on his head but a bucket with the handle under his chin like a bonnet. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. Where did this idea come from anyway?

-- Mom Adami (jea@execpc.com), November 03, 2002.


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