Going for a race change("So tired of being a white male)

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I am sick and tired by all the cab drivers that pass me up simply because I am white. I am sick to death of the stares I get when I dress in a nice suit and wear nice jewelry-simply because I am white. I am tired of being pulled over by police officers when I have not broken any traffic laws and my car has no problems-why do the police keep pulling me over? Could it be because I am white? I have the blues, man. Cannot stand being white any more. I am gonna find me a doctor that can turn me black or yellow or brown, then maybe I would have a fighting chance in this country.

I am tired of being turned down by casting agents, by a hollywood system which refuses to give prominent roles to white men. I am tired of the lack of CEO positions available to me because my skin is too light. If one more 7-11 clerk keeps staring at the alarm buzzer at 1 in the morning because I am white and in his store late at night, I think I will just scream.

I have got to find me a doctor who can change all this. I have got to find me a physician who can help me with my plight of being white-oh, and I almost forgot, a male. I am tired of being paid less than white woman for the same position. I am tired of the disproportionate number of petty white criminals who are in jail for victimless crimes. When is this country going to notice? When will us white men band together and hold sit ins for our rights? When will we march on Washington demanding that we gain control back of our bodies?

I am so tired of being white, I can just scream and scream. Can someone help me? Is there any escape, any at all, from this deadly plague of being white and male?

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), March 22, 2001

Answers

Why don't you change your name to some ethnic name like, Chavez, Abdul, Wun Hung Lo, etc.

-- WunHungLo (WunHungLo@abdul.bangkok), March 22, 2001.

Accomplishing a race change could present some difficult logistics. However, with a little surgery you could eliminate your angst and become Ms. Shock. Has a nice ring to it…don’t you think?

-- So (cr@t.es), March 23, 2001.

Is anyone else starting to feel a trifle patronized by Mr Shock?

-- (Paracelsus@Pb.Au), March 23, 2001.

Yo, white boy hates hisself

yo, white boy diss hisself

white boy wanna be homey now

Too late, white bread honky boy

Too late, mo fo

Ain't got no mojo

white boy be suckin my dick soon

we be takin you down fool

you be shuckin n jivin fool,

singin a sad ass honky tune

wid honky bitch Debbie Boone

-- Puffy (innocent@NY.C), March 23, 2001.


Most white men can't stand having a mirror held up to them, FS. (With a reflection like that, who could blame them?) You did a good job but I'm afraid your point is wasted on neanderthals.

What is the difference between a white man and childbirth?

-- (Truth@of the.day), March 23, 2001.



I'm tired of all you white gringos crying about racial quotas keeping you out of Harvard, and you black gringos complaining every time someone looks at you crosseyed. Come try to get a job down here in Mexico once. As far as I can figure it, we must be discriminating against ourselves, for Christ's sake.

Crybaby gringo silver-spooners, get a life!

-- Jesus (martinez@mexico.gov), March 23, 2001.


I guess all those white Presidents don't count for anything either.

Answer to last question: One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

New Question (This one is really funny!):

Why do white men float better than anyone else?

-- (Truth@of the .day), March 23, 2001.


Answer:

'Cause they're already scum!

-- (Truth@of the .day), March 23, 2001.


Well-I thought it was funny-and my wife thought this was brilliant satire. Nyuk Nyuk to the buncha ya ; ).

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), March 24, 2001.

Future shock, it wasnt brilliant because you didnt write it scum bag,you stole it from J.J. johnson at sierra times,and substituted the word black for white....stop trying to impress your asshole wife she still cheats on u!!!

-- Mike Roper (werty@cuji.com), March 24, 2001.


Its funny seeing all these angry posts from colored guys pissed off because any decent looking white woman would'nt even look at them,except for maybe the 400lb. pigs with buck teeth!!!that the white guys dont want!!! your pretty hard on white guys considering the size of your:lips,noses,asses just like monkeys...right?o.k. so mabye some of you are well endowed.....but so are mule's,but the biggest turn off about black guys are the smell....ever hear of soap?bottom line black guys get white guys leftovers....thats the way it is...DEAL!!!

-- Tory Marks (prowhite@ubdum.com), March 24, 2001.

FYI Montel Williams is HOT! And men of color have some of the best asses I've ever seen. AND why is all of Hollywood and Beverly Hills paying mega bucks for collagen lip injections for the Angelina Jolie look? huh? HUH?

You were saying...?

-- (cin@cin.cin), March 24, 2001.


there are nice lips then there are inner tubes.

-- Janice S. (gogo@westy.com), March 25, 2001.

Mr. Roper:

Ha. Somehow that seems funny. You do seem like some idiot on a 70's sitcom.

Show me the link to the words I "stole". Some people can still write original satire. I know this is lost on some people. By the way, I think Jack just called you from the hallway-pipe needs to be cleared- or something like that...

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), March 26, 2001.


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