I don't know if this subject has been touched on or not. But all this talk of high school and socializing got me to thinking. Were you popular in school, especially high school? Were you a misfit? Did it carry over into you life after school, before homesteading? Were you more interested in grades, sports, etc.? Just a little research to see if homesteaders have a "popular" social past. Are we the misfits of school life that have found a better life?-a blessing from God.

-- Cindy (SE In) (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), March 21, 2001

Answers

Misfit all the way. I went to a catholic high school,were what you drove and who you hung out was the main issue in your life. I did well in school study wise but was so glad to get out,I went to high school in the morning and college in the PM . I much preferd the older kids then the high school ones,if I went to a reunion most folks would have no clue who I was or me them.

-- renee oneill{md.} (oneillsr@home.com), March 21, 2001.

Ditto with Renee, though I went to public school. I'm not really a misfit anymore -- I was terribly shy in my teen years and wouldn't talk to anyone, which isn't the case anymore!! And I did start college while I was in high school, also.

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), March 21, 2001.

Me a misfit. Never.. Everyone else was the misfit. Saying your a misfit would imply that your self worth is defined by other people.

-- Gary (gws@redbird.net), March 21, 2001.

Misfit logging in here. I was in the band, which made me an even bigger misfit, but at least gave me a small circle that I could belong to. We were misfits together. That's where I met my husband (37 years ago)as he was a misfit, too. The only cowboy in a school full of surfers(California, dude)and did he ever stick out like a sore thumb. It's amazing how the years smooth out the misfit aspect though. Now, we are just folks, accepted and loved by family and community. By the way, went to a h.s. reunion, his 20th. We were still misfits, but the cool kids were shocked to see we had both been fairly successful. Won't go ever again, too depression overall.

-- melina b. (goatgalmjb1@hotmail.com), March 21, 2001.

nope...."most popular" here..high school as well as college..perhaps the difference was that I attended a Catholic school where everyone was dirt poor (inner city)...we had a ball! God bless.

-- Lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), March 21, 2001.

Misfit, and so was everyone in my small circle of pals. I got good grades, but hated school. I wasn't teased, just ignored. I was real shy, and had very low self-esteem. My family was poor, my mother was very obese, we kids were badly neglected. I don't even like thinking about those days. After highschool, I discovered alcohol. It made me feel pretty good for awhile. Then it got out of control. So....now I'm 14 years sober, full of confidence, thanks to AA and lots of life experience. Through it all, my life's passion has been my animals. Now I have 5 cats and 3 dogs, but I can't wait to have room for lots more. Cindy, you're on a role today!!

-- Cathy in NY (hrnofplnty@yahoo.com), March 21, 2001.

Ahhh... always prided myself on being 'unique' but I guess I'll take being average in THIS group!!! Misfit all the way through.

I've always been a loner - even a hermit... Never into fashion, or anything the other folks my age were into. Also had a Grandmother straight from the farm, who raised chickens in town and grew all her own food. Even went to court with the village when they told her she had to have garbage service, cause she recycled EVERYTHING. I even spent lots of summers on the farm my Gram grew up on - with HER folks!! So, come to homesteading by genetics, I guess.

I think that's why I like this place so much... I finally fit in somewhere!!!

-- Sue Diederich (willow666@rocketmail.com), March 21, 2001.

Egad, such a misfit I can't even spell it out here. Too angry, too smart, too odd. Being a teenager was absolutely aggravated by high school. Yuck!

-- witness (carlaevans@hotmail.com), March 21, 2001.

Gawd, was I a misfit in school! Hated field sports (still do), short, scrawny and ugly (still am), always preferred being in the woods with my guns or with my animals to being around people (not much change there either). Never went to any of the dances, etc. for all the obvious reasons.

Some of the teasing and insults hurt at the time, but even back then I knew that looks and popularity didn't mean diddly if you had nothing else going on for you. I've always tried to hang around people who are smarter than me and learn, learn, learn. Lucky for me, they're not hard to find.

I think most "homesteader" types are square pegs, and better off for it.

-- Jorja Hernandez (jorja@color-country.net), March 21, 2001.

Model misfit! Country boy that hated school, hated having to ride that bus, didn't have a car, so I couldn't participate in sports, couldn't wait to get out of the place to get out on my own and start living the life I wanted to! Finally found my mentors. Thanks ya'll!!!

-- woodsbilly (coleenl@penn.com), March 21, 2001.

I despised high school because it was a waste of time, sort of like a mini-prison. I have extremely bitter sentiments towards those years. I can't say I was a 'misfit' because I got along well with other students, yet I never felt like I fit in because the other students seemed very shallow, or were into drugs, or were "jocks," or just seemed very superficial. The teachers didn't pay me much notice because I did okay academically and didn't cause trouble. I was involved in music which was my savior during those awful years. I believe high school was a fraud--cheap babysitting for teens. I haven't attended one class reunion and hardly remember anyone from my school days. Usually, if I run into an old classmate, they recognize me but I have no idea who they are! I threw out my yearbook years ago! All-in-all high school played no role in my success as an adult.

-- amy (acook@in4web.com), March 21, 2001.

Just call Me a Non Conformist who made good grades..IQ above 130. Worked for my room and board on a farm near Dickson Tenn. (called Missionary Children Inc.) and had no social life. Glad I worked on the farm helped root me in important things in life. God Bless and have a good week

-- Charles steen (xbeeman412@aol.com), March 21, 2001.

Misfit everywhere--school, family. Always on the outside looking in. Finally decided I didn't really care what anyone else said, did, or thought. Always made good grades. Couldn't have come home if I didn't. I was painfully, miserably shy as a child. Now I can talk to anyone, anywhere, anyplace, anytime. You just have to learn to make yourself talk.

-- (ratdogs10@yahoo.com), March 21, 2001.

Popular and unpopular simultaneously. I was "friends" with people on all sides of the cliques, the jocks, as I played sports and did very well, the freaks, as I did drugs and did them very well, the geeks, as I was always nice to them and never would tease them for any reason... I believe I am one, the nerds, I graduated third in my class, but the drugs were more interesting than fixating about a chemistry final, so no one could pigeon hole me and that made it difficult to "fit in".

-- Doreen (animalwaitress@excite.com), March 21, 2001.

Interesting survey here Cindy!

Yes, in school I was popular. B-ball player, cheerleader for a time, student council and homecoming....blah, blah, blah. BUT, I never, ever applied myself to studies. Just got through until I could get on with "real" life.

Much like Doreen, I got along well with all the "groups". Did not do all the things the various "groups" did, but could always find something to laugh about or find that area of interest that would "connect" us. I will say, that even back in grade school, the one thing I could not tolerate was teasing or bullying by ANYONE towards those who tended to be weaker or awkward or shy or anything that would set them apart. If you were tough or capable, competent, ect... no problem, you were on your own. But if someone tended towards vulnerable, I would and did defend -- even to the point of a couple of "fisticuffs" with a couple of oversized brutes!! (This was in grade school, Jr/Sr High never needed to go that far--whew!he-he) Those who knew me, knew they could make fun of the cocky jock around me....but never the shy kid who walked through the halls alone. Even to this day, there is something built in me that screams out for justice, in every form.

So yes, my years in school were filled with some good memories, but also the certain knowledge that these were wasted years, in a sense. I have since spent the last umpteen years learning what should have been learned in childhood. All those hours upon hours fullfilling the mandate by our gov't that I be in school. That I might be properly "educated", yea right......

-- Wendy@GraceAcres (wjl7@hotmail.com), March 21, 2001.

I would have been a misfit anywhere - shy, no social skills, learning disabilities - but public school made it worse. I don't use the word misfit with my children. I tell them that each person is unique and special in his own way. Because we homeschool they have a great deal of freedom to experiment with style - no one here is going to laugh at them or put them down in any way. Sometimes I caution my daughter that some of her outfits won't fly for public wear, but at long as they're modest I don't restrict her imagination. She actually started a fad at church - wearing mismatched socks!

-- Bonnie (stichart@plix.com), March 21, 2001.

Ah, the memories. I really enjoyed high school.Learned alot and had a great time.I've always had a thing for school. Shoot, I'm back in college now and this will make my 3rd time.Where I grew up all of my neighborhood buddies were my school buddies. There's still a gang of us that are friends to this day.

I wasn't a cheerleader or anything like that. This was a coastal high school so there were classes like oceanography, wildlife, pottery, etc.for optional classes along with the regular required stuff.So there was plenty of options to keep you interested. Most of my group were beachrats.I made good grades.My senior year I had enough credits to go just half a day the first semester and then graduated at Christmas.I look back on it with very fond memories.

-- nobrabbit (conlane@prodigy.net), March 21, 2001.

Hmmm...I did most everything, tried most everything, and am glad I survived it all! I was iconoclastic, stood up for the underdog, and too, got into physical brawls over something I believed in! (Wouldn't do it on a bet today, though!)

I was popular with the popular kids when I wanted to be (but it was boring) and was happiest with hippies (remember I'm older than dirt) but also went to Young Life, and I also cared passionately about racial and gender equality. I marched and protested, too.

In college, I didn't care a whit about popularity...too many people. I also took half my classes pass/fail, which was an educational concept then. I still graduated with high honors, although I wish I had incorporated all the science classes into my GPA. I was terrified that I would do poorly, but got A's in physics, biology, chemistry, geology, etc...just didn't register as letter grades. Incidentally, women were just (again...had been quiet for a long time) starting to raise the cry of equality (early 70s.) Women were not well represented in law, medicine, business. Different today, although not entirely. But so few women were taking science classes that it scared me into thinking I wasn't smart enough to do well! Sheesh! Women can do just about anything! (even pee standing up, but why?! LOL)

Why am I writing this? I dunno! Actually, I guess I hope some high school kid will maybe understand that s/he can be unpopular/popular/weird/smart/not smart and still come out a homesteader! (after all, isn't that the best way to be???)

I think so....read Tolstoy!

-- sheepish (WA) (rborgo@gte.net), March 21, 2001.

I was in a group of friends all thru High School that just had fun (silly) and got really good grades. We were strange because we didn't really fit into any group. We were a happy group, always cutting up, didn't care about what we wore, loved nature and camping every weekend together (about 10 of us, boys and girls). We would take off on Friday and come back Sunday, the Mountains, or Pismo Beach, Northern CA, the desert, just all over. (drove my mom nuts) We were tops in the Science Clubs, got straight A's, which made the nerds mad, because we weren't "serious" all the time. We were buds with the Science teachers so got to go on ALL the science trips! (helpers) We were very close and we still e-mail back and forth now.

I too, had enough credits to go 1/2 day my senior year and graduate in January. I got a NSF scholorship for the summer after my Junior year and went to Iowa for Enviornmental Biology. Wartburg College, what a great time we had, trees, plants, animals. I was with kids from all over the US. I wanted to be a forest ranger in a lookout tower and go to college in Eureka, CA. But I didn't. 7 of us moved to Colorado to find John Denver's Rocky Mountain High and all lived in one big house. But we were good kids, just working and still going camping every weekend!

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@hotmail.com), March 22, 2001.

I'm sure I would have been considered a misfit. If you weren't in the "popular"( little rich kid group) then you were automatically a misfit. But there were even levels of misfits...from just not quit good enough to be in the popular group to considered a real nerd or creep. It did kind of bother me then but now I'm proud of it. I did not have a good high school experience and was glad to be out of it. Sometimes though I wish I could go back and do it over. I would have studied harder and not worried about my "social" standing as much. Yes,it has carried over into my adult life some. I think everything in our past helps to create our present but I told my dh when I found country side forum that I had found my people.

-- Eve Lyn (evelynv@ipa.net), March 22, 2001.

I was and wasn’t a misfit. I have two distinctly different personalities. I do not mean I have a split personality distorter. What I mean is I have a public and private personality. I probably learned this as a survive tool in school. When in a large groups of people I shut down and become reclusive, serious, nerd type. Then on a one-on-one I become total different- fun, playful, philosophical, even outrageous. I have always got a kick out of being labeled and put in a box to surprise someone. This makes me horrible at parties but a good close friend. :O)

-- Mr. Storybook Farm (Mumaw@socket.net), March 22, 2001.

I've always been a misfit and probably always will be. It really bugs me that most people don't seem to be able to think for themselves or formulate their own opinions. Maybe they learned that from school? School was painfully difficult for me. Sommetimes I feel that if I were to meet one of my old teachers I would ask her what the #@!* she thought she was doing! I did well academically when I wanted to, but I was a bright child, easily bored and always wanting to learn something I didn't know yet. I got a kick out of challenging the teacher on some subject and then proving him wrong, which didn't endear me to him. I had only a few months in high school before I was finally switched to home school.

-- Rebekah (daniel1@itss.net), March 22, 2001.

I went to a small-ish high school where certainly there was your usual intimidation, etc. I never dated or had any interest that way, but I don't think I was really a misfit. Then again, I wouldn't go back for all the tea in China!

-- Betsy in NY (sassyweitzel@yahoo.com), March 22, 2001.

I hated HS. Worst four years of my life. Boring and peopled with meanspirited jocks and punks.

I prefer hermit lifestyle but you gotta make a living. In school I would much rather have spent my time in the outdoors in woods and fields, by the lake or pond. Didn't much care for people then and prefer my own company now to that of others who'd rather talk about sports, getting drunk, gossip etc. Misfit?????----you betcha!

-- john (natlivent@pcpros.net), March 23, 2001.

I was semi-popular, attractive enough! No one very picked on me, I took up for all the underdogs kids who got picked on though. I was very outgoing and still am, but underneath all that I was very insecure and needed counseling I'm sure, thats why I ended up marrying the jerk I did the first time. I have pretty good memories of H.S. though, but I sure didn't make good grades, never applied myself, went mainly to socialize, then my senior year I messed up and failed a subject and wasn't going to graduate with my class unless I buckled down, took a corespondence course and had to go to school all day after only going half a day for 2 years, anyway so I just never went back the last semester. My mom flipped out, and took me to take my G.E.D. the next week, and I passed. I hung out with a Christian crowd but I got along with everyone in school, just didn't hang out with the druggies, some of our boyfriends drank though. Junior High was more traumatic for me, very hard time! All in all I do think H.S. was a waste of time, the only thing I learned there was how to type, and a little accounting! I have some very good memories though of friendships and activities assoc. with H.S., but as far as learning English, Math, etc. NAH, I was to preoccupied with my friends/boyfriends

-- Carol in Tx (cwaldrop@peoplescom.net), March 24, 2001.

My Dad was old - born in 1884 - 46 years old when my oldest brother was born. Mom was 27 years younger. When my older brothers were in high school and Dad in his mid sixties, some of the Jocks would occasionally come by the farm. Dad called them "Heroes". Dad was a master with a two man crosscut saw (manual power, in case you haven't used one). The jocks were always pretty cocky, and Dad would goad them into getting on the other end of the crosscut with him. He'd work 'em until they couldn't breath, and put onother one on. It took a car load of Heroes to stay with him on that saw. I thought of Dad as an old fossil until he worked the stuffing out of the local heroes. Made me realise folks ain't always what they pretend to be. I never had a desire to run with the jocks in high school - they lost their appeal to me. Not that I didn't like them, mind you - I just knew that I could do without them. Be proud of your upbringing, no matter how bad it may have seemed. It shaped you into what you are today.

-- Paul (hoyt@egyptian.net), March 24, 2001.

Hmmmm, interesting question. And so far the answers have been pretty much as expected. One thing that sets homesteaders apart (IMO) is fierce independence. I was a military brat so I was constantly the *new kid* and never really fit in. Not exactly a misfit, just sort of one of those non-entities that no one probably remembers. School was boring and I wouldn't go back for the world. I do love learning (let's face it, public school today really isn't about learning) and fortunately discovered that it has little to do with worksheets and standardized test scores. I've enjoyed reading the responses and am glad to know that even self-proclaimed misfits can find a home!

-- Hoosiermom (hdnpines@hotmail.com), March 24, 2001.

Im not sure if my comment is valid because Im still in high school but I visited this site because the idea of the social hierachy was bothering me. I deffinately wouldnt call myself popular, mainly because Im in a smart class and my main friends are all considered nerds, so in a way Im unpopular by association. However I do get on pretty well with a handful of the cooler kids but it seems that once people have a view of you its kinda difficult to shake it.Even though in my heart I know that ultimately high school popularity means nothing in the real word I really don't wanna leave my school with unpleasent memories, as if I've in some ways wasted my teen years. I think I fall into the 'invisible' catergory, in the way that Im not directly teased but largely remain unnoticed and I know I shouldnt but its really bothering me. I hate the idea of being viewed like that but I dont really know what to do about it. I may just have to ride it out but thats life I guess.

-- Adam Clare (Ad2k1@aol.com), July 31, 2001.

Like Adam Clare I'm not sure if my answer is valid and I too visted this site maninly in part because cliquing was bugging me. I will enter my sophmore year of high school the day after tomorrow. I already realize how fake high school is. I also rememember how hellish middle school was for me because no one liked me. I was ugly, was very insercure and had no friends. Then upon entering high school I realized how fake high school is see because I came back self confident, nicer, adn much much prettier (i grew out of the akward I'm not a kid, not a teen phase). Suddenly the world was a different place the cool kids aknowledged my exsistance and one of the most popular guys in school liked me. For a while I flew with it but then realized that I was only liked mainly for superficial reasons (my parents are wealthy, I had nice hair, and now was accepted). For the first time in my life I can say I'm not popular by choice. In the end very few people can say that and truely not mean it. Most my friends who do would give up what they have to be popular and are not because they've been rejected before. I spent 3 miserable years of middle school hating that I wasn't perfect to realize high school should be more about liking yourself then anything else so I'm not homecoming queen (I'm a major dissapiontment in my family cause I come from a long line of various high school queens(the hell with them I'm damn good person for other reasons)) I've finally realized I have so much more than a crown I now have self respect and that truely is priceless.

-- Elizabeth P (dizzylizzy@anfmail.com), August 28, 2001.

Interresting thread here. My mom always told me that I was a misfit, and I was. (Big mistake on her part. She destroyed my self- confidence big time.) I was on the outside, looking in during the first 5 school years while I went to public school. I was singled out by the schoolyard bullies (who actually were girls.) I was hit, pushed around, hair-pulled, and even assaulted sexually in the bathroom. I lived in mortal terror in public school. (Do you wonder why I homeschool? -and this happened to me in the early seventies, in a rural virginia school.)

In grade 6 a wonderful thing happened. Our church started our own school, and I found myself in a safe environment, with only 15 fellow pupils, of all ages. We had a wonderful time! My grades went from failing to top of the class over the next three years, and I blossomed. But I was still somewhat of a misfit because I ran my mouth too much.

All through highschool, I loved my studies, but not the social aspect of school, because I was very overweight. I got along with people, and made fun of my weight along with them. I detested it as much as they did. But still I was always on the outside looking in.

Now that I am 38, I suddenly find myself accepted and popular. I love people, love having them come to my house. I am sought after to sing in church, to have group meetings in my home, and to help when there is a need, such as sewing costumes. I have lots of friends.

I feel I am finally on the inside. Perhaps my arrival here has more to do with the inner healing of my broken heart of my childhood, of feeling unloved and abandoned. You see, my daddy died when I was a year old, and my mom had 7 children to care for. I knew my daddy was gone, but I didnt know why. I felt abandoned by the one who gave me security. And then my mom had way too many hearts to mend, to give me the comfort I needed. When I was in my twenties, God began a process of healing that hurt, and showing me that He was my Father who would never forsake me. I feel secure in His love now, and from that, I am able to relax and love others, instead of looking for love so much.

Sorry for rambling, but I hope my life story can help someone else.

-- daffodyllady (daffodyllady@yahoo.com), August 28, 2001.

The two recent posts from high school kids interests me. I must applaud them for putting the popularity issue in perspective. Very mature, when that period of life is often ruled by the need to be popular.

My sixteen year old neice was speaking at length to me about what it requires to be popular in her school. She was marveling at the change (bad change) from years ago. She said "It used to be that it was the girls like me who were popular. If you were attractive, well dressed, made straight a's, were sensitive and caring, had a sense of humor, didn't smoke, drink or have sex - everybody looked up to you" "Now, if you don't drink, do drugs and have sex with everyone - you are nobody."

I wouldn't want to be a teenager in the high school world that these kids are living in. I truly respect the few that are sticking to their values, when there seem to be so many with no values.

-- homestead2 (homestead@localnetplus.com), August 28, 2001.

Hi. I am a misfit now in middle school. It is very hard to cope with. I wake up in the morning wondering "How are the popular people going to embarrass me today???" I used to get straight "A's" in elementry school (when i was popular) but now my grades are bad and it is because I am always worring about what will happen next. The taunting and teasing consists of many things from name calling to ruining my clothes to threats. The principal says to ignor it and it will stop but after three long years it still persists. I hope that being a misfit will not carry on for my whole life because it is unbarable now.

-- not telling (tamra1230@yahoo.com), February 21, 2002.

Well, tamra, it's not really unbearable, but I remember it was a royal pain in the butt. The fact is, though, that you've proved you can cope more than adequately. It's not worth - no, better - it's worth NOT letting the A___holes drag you down. The only way they can feel superior is by dragging someone down, then climbing up on them. That's the only way they could ever look down on someone, so they try to do it all the time. Fact is, that's the only way they ever will be in any way superior to you - if you let them.

Your principal appears to recognise that you have worth. What is needed is for you to regain a recognition of that yourself. Succeed at some objective task - doesn't matter if the idiots in this world who can't do that themselves try to drag you down - just don't let them. Try getting an "A" again in a favourite subject, or a subject that relates to what you'd like to do in life; and pull up your grades a little in other subjects. Any improvement is - guess what? a more forward.

OK, done that? Wasn't so hard, was it? Move on from there - pick up the average in some other subjects. Do something socially worthwhile - say donate blood if you're old enough; or spend a couple of hours one Saturday a month at a hospital or retirement home. Do some sport as well - you don't have to be a jock. Some of the best sports are those where you're constantly competing with yourself - where the real competition is to improve your performance. This could be golf, or athletics, or swimming, or weightlifting, or martial arts (that's a good one - the idiots try to put you down, and you quietly think to yourself "I could do many things, but my discipline means I'm happy not doing to you the things that are possible"), or whatever.

Tai chi is an excellent variation on martial arts - it can have a philosophical element I don't agree with, but the physical exercises are in fact v..e..r..y slow very controlled martial arts moves. OK, I slipped by team sports (although in fact I did a team sport - only just competently), but that doesn't mean you have to avoid TEAMS. Go to some debating societies, and try that out. It can be very stimulating thinking (almost) on your feet, having to think out an argument with very little lead-time, and present it in a short fixed period of time, supporting your team-mates and building for the next presenter. This did NOT come easy to me, but I ended up being moderately proficient at it, and I actually ended up doing well enough in public speaking to win an international exchange visit from the local Lion's Club.

Best wishes.

-- Don Armstrong (from Australia) (darmst@yahoo.com.au), February 21, 2002.

Hi Tamra,

You will only be a misfit if you *choose* to take up that role. There's an entire wide world out there and your school is only a very small part of it. Once you're out you'll probably find dozens, hundreds, thousands of others much like you.

The best I can say for my high school experience is that I survived it. When I was in a particularly tough stretch one of my teachers whom I much respected told me two things that I've never forgotten.

"If you need their opinion they own you."

"No matter what you say or do to me I'm STILL a worthwhile person."

Some messages just don't come across until you're in the right place and the right circumstances to truly understand them. At that particular point in time I was in that right place. Whose opinion of you do you NEED to be good and whose doesn't matter? If you're like me how you interpret that statement will evolve over the years but it may help a lot to get through those rough years.

Hang tough. Do the best you can in school because the consequences of how well you do in your classes can either make your life easier when you're out of high school or they can make it more difficult. The other kids there in school with you right now will by and large fade into obscurity in your world once you've all graduated. The ones who mean something to you will remain and the rest will disappear into the great mass of humanity.

.......Alan.

-- Alan (athagan@atlantic.net), February 21, 2002.

Oh, I was the rebel! Show me a rule or law and I broke it. Actually, I didn't have too many brushes with the law, but, that cop frowned about me drag racing with the boys in a 15mph speed limit! Let's put it this way, my teenage years were Hell on earth! I had a lot of friends though they weren't as bad as me! In retrospect, I realize why I was that way. What scares the heck out of me is that I have a granddaughter growing up in the same city as I did, who is going to be just like I was. That city hasn't gotten any kinder.

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), February 21, 2002.

How 'bout this...y'all guess where I fit in in High school. :-)

Let's just say I wasn't Homecoming King. HeeHee.

-- Chuck (reply@mission4me.com), February 21, 2002.

I am dealing with my daughter's Middle School problems. I am sick to death of the baloney in school. I think they should do AWAY with cheerleading and football: it is all a ruse anyway. Those people are so shallow, but the image they present cause those on the outside to feel deprived. Schools need a major overhaul.

-- Mom (notgiven@aol.com), March 16, 2002.

Chuck, you weren't Homecoming *Queen*, were you? ;-)

-- sheepish (the_original_sheepish@hotmail.com), March 17, 2002.

I was on the outside, looking in, all my growing up years. My mom had convinced me that I was socially handicapped, always saying and doing the wrong things. Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck around people, having thus been assessed by my mom. The nervousness or course, exacerbated the problem of not knowing what to say or do. What was REALLY strange, was that when I left home and joined up with a group of young people in community service, I found I was actually popular, because I threw my whole self into it, not worrying anymore if I fit or not. Several years after I got married, and moved away from my home community, I was on the phone with my Mom, and we had a very revealing conversation. She asked me if I was finding acceptance, because she remembered how I was always such a misfit. I was shaken to realise that THIS was the reason I had always felt like a misfit! I was very happy to inform her that contrary to her suppositions, I had found that I was loved wherever I went. I had no trouble making friends and keeping them long-term. I was even sought for to lead in some situations.

She just couldnt process it. She had filed me in her system in a slot where I no longer fit. It seems that conversation did turn her opinion of my social life around. She no longer seems to pity me. LOL

-- daffodyllady (daffodyllady@yahoo.com), March 17, 2002.

I was the fun kid to be around. I was very nice to everyone and accepted everyone for who they were. I would be stunned when my classmates treated someone with disrespect because they were handicapped, poor, not attractive enough, to fat, to skinny, to smart, not smart enough, a jock, a nerd, a hall monitor etc... I just basically liked everyone and they in turn liked me. I was very shy though and in the beginning a lot of students thouht of me as being stuck up. Once I came out of my shyness they missed the old me. I was one of those students who was a little of everything so I did not stand out, To me the in crowd was whoever I happened to be spending my time with and I never limited myself to just one group. I was a group hopper. I liked to many of my classmates to be considered a part of any one group.

I did find myself in loads of trouble (prankster) and went through school thinking detention was homeroom.I was always running down the hallway as fast as I could to make it to my next class because I had to stop and talk to everyone. Even today I can't walk through town without stopping to talk to almost everyone I meet. People hate to go into town with me for this reason because I keep them waiting.

I was not the most popular student or the smartest or the best dressed but I was the one everyone knew would be there if they needed a friend.

-- george nh (rcoopwalpole@aol.com), March 18, 2002.

This has been interesting reading but no surprise to me that the vast majority of homesteaders were misfits. Likewise here. My older brother was one of the jocks that all the girls chased. Of course he wasn't much of a student...I remember walking into my first class on my first day of HS, while taking roll the teacher looked up when my name was called and said, "I hope you're prepared to do more work in here than your brother." LOL Most of my teachers liked me and I was a decent but not exemplary student unless it was in Ag. class or horse husbandry.

Being the outdoorsy type, I despised the cheerleaders and popular cliques of girls, instead I had a few close friends. I was good friends with most of the guys, a lot of them saw me as the girl-next-door or "little sister", but I didn't date much till after I graduated. In retrospect, whipping the entire junior class of boys in handball, basketball etc. and beating all their scores in P.E. testing was probably a little hard on their egos. ;)

HS was mostly just something I had to endure, and I couldn't wait to get home each afternoon and work with my horses. I doubt that many people would really remember me. I haven't been to a single HS reunion and couldn't care less.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), March 18, 2002.

I did ok in Elementary school. Not so well afterwards. Started off in Christian private school, then public, then Christian private again, then college prep type private, then public to finish off the last year and a half. I talked too much. Didn't like the "rich" kids who were often the stuck up ones. Those really bugged me. My mother often worked at the schools we went to to keep an eye on us or to help pay the private school bills.

I could fit in almost anywhere I needed or wanted to. Except with the druggies. When I was a junior, I attended the Senior prom with the captain of the football team. Apparently, he thought he'd have some extra fun with me after the dance. He didn't. When I was a senior, I went to prom with the Principal's son.

School was something to be endured. Pass if possible, which I did. Much of my energy in jr and sr high was spent in trying to be liked by people. Academics never seemed relevent to me and never did until I started teaching my own children and discovered WHY we should learn history and literature. The reason being to see God moving through time and history how we got to where we are as a part of His plan.

I would have loved to have been homeschooled if we'd known you could do such a thing. It is a wonderful blessing to be able to homeschool.

I think I would have done a lot better if I could have learned a trade or gone to a vo-tech...even if for shop and automotive. I like to work with my hands creating things. Classrooms didn't allow for that.

-- Lav, MD (lavenderbluedilly@hotmail.com), March 18, 2002.