I think I recall their database is constantly updated by the answers from all the previous respondents. At the end you're asked for your actual gender.

Anyone disappointed by the results gets free online therapy right here on the thread. (Hey...any psychoanalysts in the house? Come on, hurry up -- I've already committed to this!)

The Gender Test

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), March 19, 2001

Answers

Eve,

That was pretty cool.

I wonder if the test is accurate on homosexuals and lesbians?

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), March 19, 2001.

Hi Eve,
I thought I'd have some fun and try to answer from what I guessed would be a woman's perspective. The result: it said, with 85% confidence, that I was definitely a woman!

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), March 19, 2001.

I'm one of those femme fatales that totally attracts/confuses men because I think just like a guy. The test didn't guess my gender correctly. I guess it's the white bedroom thing.

-- Sexy (Sadie@VaVaVaVoom.com), March 19, 2001.

Well Eve, the stupid test decided that I was a woman although I came out pretty much in the middle. Unfortunately I am definitely male as many lady-love's can attest. I answered each question spontaneously and was frankly surprised with the results. Also, I suspect that one could probably achieve at least as good a result with about a half a dozen of the right questions. It was fun, though. Thanks for posting it.

-- Confused (not@really.tho), March 19, 2001.

That was fun. Thanks Eve. It says I am female with 86% confidence.

My 16 year old son came up 80 confidence male, and a male friend who was over also took the test and came up 86% confidence female! LOL

-- (cin@cin.cin), March 19, 2001.

I am definately a man, which is nice to have confirmed.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), March 19, 2001.

Well, it said I am a male (86% confidence) and my DH is a female (80 confidence).

The test seems kinda bogus, but I thought it was fun; he thought it was asinine.

And what does THAT mean? ... It means that women enjoy thinking they might have male traits, much more than men enjoy thinking they might have female traits.

(Anyone know what being born in an odd year or an even year has to do with GENDER?)

-- Debbie (dbspence@usa.net), March 20, 2001.

Debbie--

I feel better now. It said that I was female with 80% confidence also. Sheesh, I stopped that cross-dressing years ago.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), March 20, 2001.

I already knew I would be labeled a man on this one after Peg posted something about the ATM last week. Yeah...they said I was DEFINITELY a man, although I don't remember seing a confidence level presented.

I'd been trying to tell folks on TB2000 that I was a short, fat, bald guy posting under a female name, but nobody ever believed it, and it didn't help when pictures made their way onto the Uncensored forum.

I guess it would have been more fun for me, Eve, if I didn't anticipate the results before I even went in. [You don't suppose this is why I get that spam telling me how to enlarge my penis, do you? Is this why I get the spam from the girls asking if I'm horny?]

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), March 20, 2001.

80% confidence that I am a female. Like Anita, I knew going in this would happen. It's the mercury/venus conjunction in Libra.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), March 20, 2001.

I don't think its accurate...it says I'm a woman.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), March 20, 2001.

Male, 93% confidence, which kinda surprised me - I tend to agree with the female side of the curve on most opinion polls I see published in the media, which made me suspect this test would peg me as female.

The "Who would win" monkey picture was hilarious for some reason.

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), March 20, 2001.

It said, with 80% certainty, I *am* Doc Paulie.

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), March 20, 2001.

Wow! Whatta response! Glad y’all enjoyed this; and you’re very welcome. I know I had more fun just reading your replies.

Well, I got an 86% confidence level for a female. Geez...and I thought I’d be a guy for sure. And with all you women showing up as males – I guess I should be jealous! LOL!

J – Well, I read your post first thing and went cross-eyed. I think I’ll need a coupla cups of coffee to think through THAT one.

Hey Dave –-I dunno, -- you DO seem to know how to use the queen very well in our chess games, though. Hmmmm....please tell me that you really just see yourself as USING the queen....not AS the queen... :)

Debbie, ... You said, “It means that women enjoy thinking they might have male traits, much more than men enjoy thinking they might have female traits.”

I’m not so sure about the male side. I KNOW they’d almost never admit it – but I always kinda wondered about what many of ‘em might REALLY be thinking.....It does seem that it’s far less acceptable in our society for males to openly admit to "feminine" feelings.

Unk – I’m glad to have been of assistance. Now, just bookmark the test and come back to it whenever any of them doubts start to creep back upon ya. I mean, assuming that letter to Dear Abby last week signed "Naked in James Garner’s Garage" wasn’t from you. If so, um.......we need to talk.

Anita –I think the confidence level was on the same page where they gave you the "news." It was right below the graph. And LOL on your spam! What? No male pattern-baldness remedies yet? But hey – as long as your SO knows for sure (and from the pics you posted on the Uncensored forum, as I recall, there couldn’t ever possibly be any doubt) – it might be fun to just keep some of those others a- guessin’.

Flint, not to worry. From what your wife tells me, every time you hop into bed with the Spiderman pajamas, she's immediately reassured.

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), March 20, 2001.

eve,

When I hit the "Your Gender Is Ready" button I found out that I'm "Definitely a Man!"

Good for a snicker or two - not so sure it has any bearing on the old anima/animus thingy.

{come on now, doesn't everyone realize that in a certain light nuclear war could be very exciting? The real question is, what shoes would one wear for such an occasion...now THAT query would surely separate the men from the, uh, boys!}

-- flora (***@__._), March 20, 2001.

Fascinating......

Says I'm 'definitely a dude'.

How'd it know it was ME????? ;-)

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), March 20, 2001.

I wonder how it calculates the confidence level. It seems most the responses were for 80 or above. Mine was 80. It said I was definitely woman. But did anyone else notice the scale? I assume the little box indicates where you fall on the scale. There was also an arrow pointing on red and blue bar. I was right in the middle. Did everyone else come up in the middle?

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), March 20, 2001.

Maria, I had an 86% confidence level for a female, but on the bar I came up just to the left of center -- going from right to left, maybe at the 60th percentile or so. I noticed the scale and the box within, but apparently, details as to how the scale was plotted were missing, although I didn't spend much time trying to find some clarification. Let us know if you figure something out.

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), March 20, 2001.

What a bummer. The analysis stated: Inconclusive. Please leave this site immediately. Do not return here. Ever.

Kidding. Actually it read: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. You hail from neither planet. Which is YOUR homeworld?

Then it bounced me to Dr. Laura's home page.

-- Rich (howe9@shentel.net), March 20, 2001.

I'm almost willing to bet the entire test depends only on whether you carry things in your pockets or not. Men always do, women hardly ever. I also cracked up over the "who will win" monkey question. Lots of fun..thanks for sharing the test. I was definately a female..even with thinking nuclear war might be fun..go figure.

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), March 20, 2001.

WARNING: Please don't read this post if you haven't already taken this test and plan to.

Ok, with that out of the way... I was also in the female 86 percentile also. The bar was farther to the left on the pink side, but I don't know what difference that makes. The test told us (see below) what it looks for in three male vs. female answers and I see alot of questions that I think break down where females would vote for one answer more than another. I'll be back tomorrow to say which ones I think they are. Also, I'm thinking there's another reason they put this test up. I think they might really just want to know if the general public has confidence in technology. I really don't care though. The test was interesting. Thanks eve!

"EXCELLENT!

From the darkest bowels of our database, we have successfully pinched out your gender. Technology does always prevail, it seems. Thank you for contributing.

-- So Far, The Gender Test Has Learned --

Men prefer falling over drowning to death.

Women really hate the word "used".

Women are more likely to realize that clams are alive (90%) than men (only 88%).

For those of you who would like to see the questions again, (as much as I could copy) here it is...

"It's very important that you're honest during this test. Otherwise it won't be as astounding when we guess your gender. So please think carefully about each question. Now, which shape do you prefer? Circle or square.

Which color makes a better tee-shirt? green orange

Please pick a number. 1 6

Would you rather print or use cursive? print use cursive

Would you rather be rich or famous? Think about the possibilities. rich famous

On a camping adventure, you get separated from your friends. You haven't seen them in hours, and you're completely alone in the woods. Would you... look for them stay put

Which is better, a happy ending or a total surprise? happy ending total surprise

Would you rather fall to your death or drown? fall drown

When you get a headache, do you usually take painkillers? yes no

And would you rather be deaf or blind? Seriously. deaf blind

Do you ever think about the beginning of time and wish you could've been there to witness it? yes no

If given the choice, would you rather... live forever die happy

Scientifically speaking, which do you think came first? Chicken or the egg?

Are clams alive? yes no

Which animal is smarter? a horse a pig

Do you think that one day there will be world peace? yes no

Please choose one: french fries onion rings

Do you like having your picture taken? yes no

Would you rather be hungry or cold? hungry cold

Are you afraid of death? yes no

Our claim that we can guess everyone's gender is "impressive" and yet "retarded", writes one Spark fan. Which is it? impressive retarded

Back to gender questions. So, would you rather live in a blue bedroom or a white bedroom? Picture this in your head. blue white

Does Canada suck or what? yes yeah

Which would you rather be? completely and forever lonely bleeding to death

Do you sleep on your stomach or on your back? stomach back

Which word is grosser? moist used

For years, philosophers have debated over what determines the future. Some say that fate exists, and that choice is an illusion. Others believe that we make choices of our own free will. What do you believe in? fate the ability to choose

More important, do you prefer to drink with a straw? yes no

Consider the following sequence.

Please choose whichever object you think fills in the blank better: Square, circle, square, circle, square.

diamond or circle?

And which is a better way to ship things? Truck or boat?

If you had two jobs to do, which would you do first? the easier one, to leave time for the harder one the harder one, to get it out of the way

Scenario: If you don't have the money by Tuesday, the kid dies. You can't get the money. Do you... call the cops call the kid's parents

Which number do you think fits better in the blank: 2, 4, __ ?

6 8

College is worth both the time and the money. true false

Technology always prevails. true false

Who will win?

Myths are often based on fact. true false

What is the greater value of the Internet? information communication

Best friends can be worst enemies. true false

In a certain light, nuclear war would be exciting. true false

You're on the last page! Which is more correct?

blue (white letters surrounded by blue) blue

Which would you really prefer?

a fair fight brass knuckles

Is consciousness an illusion? yes no

Do you associate better with people of your own gender? yes no

Do you like to go to the movies by yourself? yes no

Which is a better nickname for a male porn star?

Black Jack The Slot Machine

Stop and think about your middle name for a second. Does it end with a vowel? yes no

Do you usually carry stuff in your pockets? yes no

Which place is worse? the hospital a courtroom

And finally, were you born in an even or odd year? even odd

-- (Netsc@pe 6.0), March 20, 2001.

Shoot, I just found this when I went back to click off the site....

"Did you know that men are less likely to call this test retarded than women? Women are more likely to choose being lonely (over bleeding to death) than men. Men prefer white bedrooms. Women prefer blue bedrooms."

-- (Netsc@pe 6.0), March 20, 2001.

Sorry for falling off the radar...I was swallowed up by one of our fabulous rolling blackouts.

The funny thing for me is that IRL I tend to fall off the extremely feminine end of the spectrum. Most folks who don't know me well enough seem to jump to the conclusion that I hail from the south {I don't think that south Californina counts}.

This little experiment today has caused me to tumble around ideas of conditioning & natural temperment around in my bean.

Cyber Jung, if you're out there, could I merely be a steel magnolia out of time & place?

-- flora (***@__._), March 20, 2001.

Maybe this will help. This is how I answered them...

Now, which shape do you prefer? Circle or square.

I said circle.

Which color makes a better tee-shirt? green orange

green

Please pick a number. 1 6

1

Would you rather print or use cursive? print use cursive

use cursive

Would you rather be rich or famous? Think about the possibilities. rich famous

rich

On a camping adventure, you get separated from your friends. You haven't seen them in hours, and you're completely alone in the woods. Would you... look for them stay put

stay put

Which is better, a happy ending or a total surprise? happy ending total surprise

total surprise

Would you rather fall to your death or drown? fall drown

drown

When you get a headache, do you usually take painkillers? yes no

yes (doesn't everybody? I take a baby one everyday whether I have a headache or not!)

And would you rather be deaf or blind? Seriously. deaf blind

deaf

Do you ever think about the beginning of time and wish you could've been there to witness it? yes no

no (I have never thought of it and never will.)

If given the choice, would you rather... live forever die happy

die happy

Scientifically speaking, which do you think came first? Chicken or the egg?

egg

Are clams alive? yes no

yes (of course!)

Which animal is smarter? a horse a pig

pig (just a guess. I don't really have any idea.)

Do you think that one day there will be world peace? yes no

no

Please choose one: french fries onion rings

french fries

Do you like having your picture taken? yes no

yes

Would you rather be hungry or cold? hungry cold

cold

Are you afraid of death? yes no

no (I'm afraid of pain though!)

Our claim that we can guess everyone's gender is "impressive" and yet "retarded", writes one Spark fan. Which is it? impressive retarded

retarded

Back to gender questions. So, would you rather live in a blue bedroom or a white bedroom? Picture this in your head. blue white

white

Does Canada suck or what? yes yeah

yeah (but I don't think it does).

Which would you rather be? completely and forever lonely bleeding to death

lonely

Do you sleep on your stomach or on your back? stomach back

back (Doesn't every female? It's difficult sleeping on my chachkas. Besides, our faces don't wrinkle so much that way.)

Which word is grosser? moist used

used (OK, I'm going to go out on a limb here. When I think of the word "moist" I think of "moisturizer" and it doesn't gross me out. When I think of the word "used" (here's the going out on a limb part) I think of used condoms. euwwwwww.

For years, philosophers have debated over what determines the future. Some say that fate exists, and that choice is an illusion. Others believe that we make choices of our own free will. What do you believe in? fate the ability to choose

the ability to choose

More important, do you prefer to drink with a straw? yes no

yes

Consider the following sequence.

Please choose whichever object you think fills in the blank better: Square, circle, square, circle, square.

diamond or circle?

I said circle.

And which is a better way to ship things? Truck or boat?

Truck

If you had two jobs to do, which would you do first? the easier one, to leave time for the harder one the harder one, to get it out of the way

the harder one, to get it out of the way

Scenario: If you don't have the money by Tuesday, the kid dies. You can't get the money. Do you... call the cops call the kid's parents

the cops

Which number do you think fits better in the blank: 2, 4, __ ?

6 8

I said 8

College is worth both the time and the money. true false

true

Technology always prevails. true false

true (I disagree with the word "always", but I have confidence nonetheless.)

Who will win?

I said the monkey on the left that was in the tree.

Myths are often based on fact. true false

false (Isn't that why they're called myths?)

What is the greater value of the Internet? information communication

information

Best friends can be worst enemies. true false

false (if your friend is your worst enemy...she's not your friend.)

In a certain light, nuclear war would be exciting. true false

false (Why do you think it would interesting, kritter? I think it would be awful!)

You're on the last page! Which is more correct?

blue (white letters surrounded by blue) blue

blue

Which would you really prefer?

a fair fight brass knuckles

a fair fight

Is consciousness an illusion? yes no

no

Do you associate better with people of your own gender? yes no

no (this is why I thought I would rate higher on the male side of the spectrum.)

Do you like to go to the movies by yourself? yes no

yes

Which is a better nickname for a male porn star?

Black Jack The Slot Machine

The Slot Machine

Stop and think about your middle name for a second. Does it end with a vowel? yes no

yes

Do you usually carry stuff in your pockets? yes no

no (that's what purses are for!)

Which place is worse? the hospital a courtroom

a hospital

And finally, were you born in an even or odd year? even odd

odd

-- (Netsc@pe 6.0), March 20, 2001.

-- So Far, The Gender Test Has Learned --

Men prefer falling over drowning to death.

Women really hate the word "used".

Women are more likely to realize that clams are alive (90%) than men (only 88%).

I answered falling to my death. I also prefer the word moist over the word used, so I answered that "used" was the uglier word. Moist is good.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), March 20, 2001.

Moist reminded me of cooking, which I have alternating love/hate feelings toward. I thought that men would think moist is an ucky word. I equated used with experienced or timeworn, & the antique lover in me found it to be the preferrable word.

-- flora (***@__._), March 20, 2001.

I admit my mind was completely in the gutter on that question. 'Used' registered in my pea brain as 'throw away, grab another'. 'Moist', well...

-- Rich (howe9@shentel.net), March 20, 2001.

For those who scored beyond you gender, there is help! Call now for the Spring discount package. Dr Ostad, 1-212-244-2020, Sexual Reassignment Surgery. They charge by the inch.

-- (larsguy@yahoo.com), March 20, 2001.

Not to worry, Lars -

I think Bingo & Deedah have just confirmed for me that I am not a man.

-- flora (***@__._), March 20, 2001.

flora, you just probably admitted to carrying things like frogs and snails in your pockets!

As Kritter said, that was the key question.

-----------------------------------

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), March 20, 2001.

Lon,

Doesn't everybody?

If i have pockets, I carry my keys in them - in case I lose my purse somehow. I hate to carry a purse & usually finegal my better half into carrying lipstick for me if I'm gussied up

-- flora (***@__._), March 20, 2001.

Moist is very good. ;-)

-- Pamela Sue (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), March 20, 2001.

sultry

the night was sultry

-- (cin@cin.cin), March 20, 2001.

Oh, Flint -- I feel guilty over the Spiderman pajama thing. I should have inserted a "smiley face" to show you that it was all in fun.

I think it's that you're just too much fun to tease. Irresistible, in fact. So actually, I'd like..........

(Eyes suddenly glazing over, Eve re-enters a trance-like, frozen- expression, Stepford-wife state)

Well, Flint -- at least I didn't mention the E.T. pajamas your wife had given away to the Salvation Army. He was kinda androgynous -- you know -- sorta fruity. I mean, he didn't even seem to mind when the little girl dressed him up in a wig and all. You don't wanna identify with THAT. Right?

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), March 21, 2001.

eve,

Inquiring minds want to know most about his Peter Parker Dr. Dentons.

-- flora (***@__._), March 21, 2001.

Eve: I enjoyed the test. But I do have a confession to make... I lied about being a female. I couldnt help it, my evil twin took complete control.

-- compulsive liar (cant@help.myself), March 21, 2001.

Well, I always suspected that I thought like a male, and my friends tease me for not being a "real" girl. This test confirmed, with 86% accuracy that I was a man! I took it again, and this time I tried to answer what I thought the "girl" answers should be, and they still thought I was a man! (less confidence though) I'd like to know what most males and females answered for all the questions.

-- girl (salamatu26@hotmail.com), October 28, 2001.