We all know that the gas crisis last summer was engineered by Bush Sr. when he went to Kuwait a year ago and ordered them to cut production. Then of course there is the California energy crisis, created when Dumbya ordered his friends in the energy industry to jack up prices to areas where environmentalists reside.

Now, I have learned from an insider that Bush Sr. working with his CIA connections has proliferated the spread of Foot and Mouth disease throughout Europe to allow his Texas cattle rancher friends to profit spectacularly. They first attempted to do this by hyping Mad Cow disease, but that was not effective so they are now spreading this highly contagious disease. Maximum security will be in place to guarantee that it does not affect American cattle, and our prices will rise exorbitantly.

-- (Bush Family @ profit. at any price), March 17, 2001

Answers

As with most disease outbreaks, we will never know what factors contributed to our demise. But it is irrevelant. The problem has already manifest itself as part of a larger problem of techno-society gone wild.

Just as livestock are now being culled by man, man too may eventually be culled - by forces as overpowering to us as we are to the animals.

-- (@ .), March 17, 2001.

I'd give these conspiracy parodies at least an A-. That breaks down as A+ for pure mockery, but only B for details. And we need at least one space alien thrown in there somewhere just for a dash of flavor.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), March 17, 2001.

names-dates-witnesses-just the fact's mam the fact's please.

-- al-d (dogs@zianet.com), March 17, 2001.

“Now, I have learned from an insider that Bush Sr. working with his CIA connections has proliferated the spread of Foot and Mouth disease throughout Europe to allow his Texas cattle rancher friends to profit spectacularly.”

An ‘insider’ you say. That wraps it up for me!

-- So (cr@t.es), March 17, 2001.

the Tyson's must be pissed that Clinton wasn't this clever...

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), March 17, 2001.

Drumstick and beak disease?

-- Porky (Pokry@in.cellblockD), March 17, 2001.

As a Texan, I'd have to think that it would take SEVERAL years at pretty spectacular prices for Texas cattle ranchers to even recoup what they've lost due to droughts the past several years. I don't know too many folks who have ranches with cattle, but the ones I do know sold most of their cattle when beef rates were extremely low simply because they couldn't afford to feed them.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), March 18, 2001.

Perhaps we should all consider veggies as an option.?

-- no meat please (no@meatfor.me), March 18, 2001.

Cherri, that is one of the better articles you have posted. Still out there in looney toon land, but more believable than most of the dross you cut and paste.

-- Kotter (welcome@back.kotter), March 18, 2001.

Anita, did you ever notice that those who have never been around the livestock industry have no clue about any aspect of it whatsoever, and this drives people to draw ridiculous conclusions on how cattle are fed, livestock disease, and what actually drives the marked up or down?

-- Boswell (cjseed@webtv.net), March 18, 2001.

Geeze... I was being facetious.....

-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), March 19, 2001.