The Xians are trying to get my wallet, its true I know it. With their grubby little hands, and their beady little eyes. The Xians are trying to get my wallet, but I won't let them. I've got my tinfoil helmet on, they hate tinfoil, but still they are trying to get my wallet. I know its true. Can you see them? They are trying to get your wallet too. My wallet might not be full of cash or pictures of good looking people, but it is my wallet and I rightfully own it. The Xians, if they want a wallet should go out and buy their own. Those Xians need to simmer down, and not steal peoples wallets!

Where are the Xians now? Are they here or are they there? What do they want and who are they anyway? The Xians are trying to get my fine china, but I won't let them. The Xians are trying to get my '86 Dodge Colt, even though it has a leaky transmission. The Xians are trying to get my 98 year old grandmother to go to their Xian meetings so they can get her wallet, and her childrens' wallets, and their wallets' children, but I won't let them.

The Xians are trying to get my wallet, he he ha ha ho ho. We need to stand against these Xians with all of our force, all of our might and all of our wallets. THE XIANS ARE WRONG, THEY HAVE NOT EVOLVED!

-- they really are (I@see.them), March 09, 2001

Answers

Excellant rant. Party on!!!!!!!!

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), March 09, 2001.

Here you go - this will let you know if anyone is stealing from you wallet

-- wallet hero (just@helping.out), March 09, 2001.

What the hell is a Xian?

-- paranoid (paranoid@hiding.anon), March 09, 2001.

Thet want to steal that unused condom you have been carrying since HS

-- (nemesis@awol.com), March 09, 2001.

Your not alone, they really are, err, everywhere. Even in OZ. We share your pain. Down Under we too are under constant assault. It's frighteningly devolutionary - an epidemic. The daily calls from call- centres seeking information. Harvesting information about anything at all, like what brand of peanut-paste does one prefer, and, darn it I wasn't going to say but this thread seems so poignantly 'hip' that I simply cannot resist the urge to comeout with it; the call from the call-centre surveying for sightings of fairy penguins in the past month. I'm not prone to wild conjecture, but that call was followed by a quizzing about my weekly spending, how my wallet stood up to daily inflationary spirals. It's not standng up at all, I replied. Indeed it has a sodden depressed air to it now. The mercenary profligate freakiness has given my wallet a terminal decline from which I fear it'll not recover. You may call on my wallet's resources but it's about to expire. Oh! The sorrow. I share your pain and might have to sell my grandmother to a medical research institution for a bag of money. Bags will in vogue soon.

Get rid of your wallet. It's passe!

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), March 09, 2001.

You aren't kidding. I just got hit up twice this week for churches, once at my house and once at my car.

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), March 09, 2001.

What the hell is a Xian?

As in Xmas. The Greek letter X [which we can't display here] stood for Christ in the early centuries of the first mil. Of course you knew this.

-- zyz (zyzop@mm.aaa), March 09, 2001.

Aren't these guys from out of one of L. Ron Hubbard's stories that Scientologists believe to be fact? Or was it the Xemus?

-- WW (watch.out@for.wackos), March 09, 2001.

Tarzan, please elaborate how you got hit up by the churches.

-- xians in Toronto (Laughing@to.bank), March 10, 2001.