Assumption

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This ole' redneck guy who never finished high school decided to go back to school one day and get his high school degree.

When he met with the teacher the teacher said "first of all I want to re-familiarize you with the basics like reading, writing, arithmetic and assumption"the man said," I remember reading writing and arithmetic but what is assumption? the teacher said," let me give you an example, are you married?" the ole' boy said "yes I am",the teacher said,"then I assume you are a heterosexual" the man said," youre right aboutthat",the teacher then said,"since you are married I assume you have a house" the man replied, "why yes I do",the teacher said," and since you have a house I assume you have a yard?" the ole'boysaid,"well, you are right again".Then the teacher said since you have a yard I assume you have a weedeater?" "bi-golly you are right again!"exclaimed the man.The teacher smiled and said,"see,thats' what I mean by assumption".

Later the ole' redneck boy was fishing with a buddy of his and mentioned to his friend that he was going back to school,he told him he would be learning reading,writing, arithmetic, and assumption.His friend said,"assumption!,what is that?" he explained, "let me give you an example like my teacher told me.Do you have a weedeater?" his friend said,"no".Well,I assume you're gay!

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), March 09, 2001

Answers

But everybody has a lawnmower, be it a Craftsman or a John Deere!

-- Boswell (cjseed@webtv.net), March 09, 2001.

Here's one I got in mail today:

Explaining Religious Philosophies ...

Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.

Protestantism: Shit wont happen if I work harder.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?

Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?

Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage.

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Lama Ding Dong.

Rastafarianism: Lets smoke this shit.

Atheist: No shit.



-- (cin@cin.cin), March 09, 2001.


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