Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and "new math."

But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets, "smart" guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.

Finally when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

-- Wingnut (wingnut@moment.net), February 26, 2001

Answers

Volumes and volumes were spoken in the above. Did you write it? What's whole language? Thanks for printing it.

-- Cindy (SE In) (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), February 26, 2001.

Amen! The surviving stepbrothers demand that in lew of flowers that you make a manditory contribution to the liberal agenda of their choice."For The Children" sniff...

-- greg (gsmith@tricountyi.net), February 26, 2001.

Do you think there might be a chance with cryogenics? Maybe it's not too late to dig him up bury him in ice and pray for a miracle? How bout cloning....oh, well, I see the dichotomy there.

-- Doreen (animalwaitress@excite.com), February 26, 2001.

Oh, how I miss him!!! Surely it is not too late?!!? There MUST be offspring somewhere...just waiting to overthrow the stepbrothers currently holding power?!?! I know! Sanity....

Let us pray for the return of Sanity to it's rightful place in our society! May the insane effects of Rights, Tolerance and Whiner be laid to rest, forever.....!

BTW, great, great stuff Wingnut. Thank You!

-- Wendy@GraceAcres (wjl7@hotmail.com), February 27, 2001.

Good post Wingnut.

Common sense is an oxymoron. Its not so common

-- john leake (natlivent@pcpros.net), February 27, 2001.

I'm with you except for the part about the ten commandments. Since when does religion have anything to do with common sense? Otherwise a great essay, did you compose it yourself?

-- Sherri C (CeltiaSkye@aol.com), February 27, 2001.

You are right in the above post. The Ten Commandments are truly not part of Man's common sense because they are Truth from a Sovreign Creator.

Man's common sense is only derived from what comes from a common consensus. Total depravity is incapbable of Truth. What man knows as common senses is merely the ability to reason endowed by his Creator. Since we have tried to divorce reason from religion and operate on emotion and feeling the result is the loss of reason elsewhere for establishment of laws in our country.

The real reasons behind why stealing/adultery/murder/lying/etc... are wrong will be found in the Bible. And you won't find much of that in our institutions of education.

Thanks for the post, Wingnut.

-- Heather in MD (heathergorden@hotmail.com), February 27, 2001.

Wingnut--Great post!

Heather--Spoken with a large measure of common sense!

-- Glory (mornglorfarms@ncconnect.net), February 27, 2001.

I wish I would have written that, but I didn't. My cousin sent it to me via e-mail, one of the few forwards I actually read and I'm glad I did. I'm planning on typing it and printing it out in an attractive way, maybe on parchment paper, so I can frame it and hang it on the wall in the kitchen.

Cindy, I'm not sure exactly what whole language is. All I know about it is that it was a method of teaching schoolchildren to read that was highly controversial when it was first being implemented. I don't have kids yet, but Sis does and I haven't been able to pin her down to ask her yet.

Sherri, I think the spirit of the author's statement "When the Ten Commandments became contraband" was that those ten things should be common sense whatever religion you believe in, BUT since they are attached to the Christian religion, they get shoved under the rug in the name of "tolerance" and "freedom of religion." I mean, it's just common sense (or should be) to not steal from someone or you just might get caught by the police, or worse, the owner's dog ~ OUCH! It's also common sense to not go catting around with the neighbor's wife ~ you might catch something or the husband might catch you! DOUBLE ouch!

Heather, Reason is Common Sense's fraternal twin that was buried recently in the plot right beside Common Sense's new grave. I think I saw you at the funeral ~ was that you?

-- Wingnut (wingnut@moment.net), February 28, 2001.

Wingnut, I was there but incognito.

There is another long lost relative that is still alive. The name is Hope. Hope teaches her children that the war has actually been won but there is guerilla warfare from outlaw rebels that will not give up the fight until they are thrown into the abyss. Hope teaches her children to persevere through persecution because she and they know that there is a Master Plan. Hope survived through one of the darkest times of history before the fall of Rome and afterwards. Times then were even worse than now so see, Hope is alive.

-- Heather in MD (heathegorden@hotmail.com), February 28, 2001.

Yes, Hope is alive and holed up at my place, teaching every chance she gets...

-- Wingnut (wingnut@moment.net), February 28, 2001.

Great post Wingnut and i generally agree, but,,,,,,,, you know common sense ,not unlike God,good, and reality in general are a perception, an opinion, formed according to ones life experience. For instance, you mentioned low flow toilets in your post. It makes no common sense to you for someone else to tell you how much your toilet flows. Well I would have agreed with you back when I lived in the water rich midwest but now that I live out in a semi-arid place. I look at anyone without a 1.5 gallon toilet as having no common sense. Since 1.5 gallons will do the job and if most people used the older style toilet, I wouldnt be able to afford water to keep my garden going. So I guess my point is that common sense like so many things isn't written in stone. Having opinions is probably a good thing for us humans as far as making us feel secure in this world but I hope to keep an open mind....just in case there is something out there I might learn. peace

-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), March 04, 2001.