Only In America (Humor, rated G) : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread

A friend sent this to me, so I thought I'd share....


1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. 11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House

-- Julie Froelich (, February 23, 2001


........and those are some of the reasons I transplated to Italy!!

-- kelly (, February 24, 2001.

Fact is, Americans overreact to emergencies. Ambulances show up from 4 different directions, each competing for the uninjured.

My sister once had propane squirting from (at least that's her description) an outdoor propane grill. She called the fire dept to see what to do about it. I don't remember all the details, but at least three vehicles showed up, a fire truck, police car and I can't remember what else, "Just in case".

-- Bob Frohmader (, February 25, 2001.

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