Wally woke up the next day bright and early as usual and was just about to jump into a business suit when he realized he had the day off. So he threw on some jeans, made a big breakfast and read the sports section of the newspaper. After that, he decided to head down to the local coffee house.

When Wally entered he couldn't believe his eyes --it was packed to the gills with fellow delivery guys and gals, and many of his brothers and sisters. "Hey gang," Wally shouted. "What are all of you doing here?"

"We all got some time off. Isn't it great," said Willie the Watt, his arm around Wilma. "None of us are too sure how people are going to get their juice, but in this new system, we just do what we're told, right. They say take it easy, so here we are."

Wally sipped a latté and shot the breeze all day with the gang and later that evening went outside for a stroll. Less than a block away he ran into Hillary Hydro from Seattle. The region was hit with an Arctic blast and there had been almost no rain in December, seriously impacting hydro -- a huge source of cheap power for the region.

"Hey Hillary, what are you doing in our neck of the woods?" Wally asked. Hillary told Wally that she got last minute orders from the powers-that-be to deliver their state-grown juice to California, pronto. "It is just so unfair. It is bitterly cold in Washington and we have to send our precious, limited juice to all of you in the Golden State so you can keep as many lights on in your house as you like. And all of you workers are sitting around coffee houses." And then she started to cry.

Wally tried to think of something reassuring to say, but he was at a loss, so he just handed her his handkerchief. She blew her nose and added, "And if that wasn't bad enough, all this intensive electricity farming is drying up our lakes behind the dams and turning our poor, endangered salmon into paté."

After a final, theatrical sniffle, Hillary composed herself. She said she was in a mega hurry to get back home, adding she hoped things wouldn't be so dim the next time they met.

Wally felt terrible. He walked slowly back to a bar, found an empty barstool and ordered a martini, extra dry. While nursing his drink in silence he started thinking about his parents. He promised himself he'd pay them that long-overdue visit.

While lost in his thoughts, Wally heard the voice of The Gray One. He realized it was coming from the television overhead and looked up. The Gray One seemed to be holding some kind of news conference. Wally listened as He railed against electricity farmers for charging too much for their crop, and for withholding thousands of desperately needed megawatts of juice from the kingdom.

"We are in an incredibly bizarre situation that shows how the market can be gamed and manipulated," His Grayness proclaimed. Wally looked around the packed bar and also thought about his trip to Arizona and back. Things had changed since the farm was sold and the more he tried to make sense of it, the more confused he became. So, he resolved to talk to his parents and get some answers.

Dec. 14, 2000 -- Since selling off their farm holdings, Peegee and Andy Watt spent most of their time holed up in their large house in San Francisco. They weren't as busy as they once were. They still ran some farms, but mostly they just watched over their children, making sure the crops got to market safe and sound.

When Wally arrived at his folk's house he walked inside. "Mom, Dad," he called, "anyone home?" There was silence and then he heard some stirring upstairs, so he bound up the staircase. Just as he reached the top of the stairs, his dad shuffled out of the bedroom in his pajamas.

Oh no, Wally thought, not this again. As much as Wally loved his parents, there was one thing he couldn't stand about them. They were incurable hypochondriacs. When his mom had the sniffles, she was sure it was pneumonia; when his dad had a headache, he was convinced he had a brain tumor. A lifetime of experience had taught Wally that their perceived ailments coincided with their incessant financial worries.

When Peegee and Andy saw Wally, they squeezed him tight, holding on for an uncomfortably long time. "Son," Wally's dad said in a somber tone, "sit down. There's something your mother and I need to discuss with you. Something important."

A feeling of dread swept over Wally. He had a good idea of what was coming next. The drama. "Wally, you know your mother and I have been plagued with health and financial worries all our lives," Andy said. "We have put up a brave fight, but things have taken a dramatic turn for the worse and we don't know if we will make it past the new year."

Wally tried not to roll his eyes or snicker. His father looked at Wally more intensely and said, "Son, things have never, ever been this bad, and to make matters worse, we can't even pay our bills to the farmers. Here we sell our farms to those damned foreign growers, and they turn around and charge us more for the juice than our customers will even pay. We're stuck in the middle. We're broke, Wally, dead broke! Worse than broke, we're thinking about filing for bankruptcy because we can't pay our debts."

"Wh-, wha-, what do you mean?" Wally stammered in disbelief. "What about this house? What about all your fine jewelry, Mother, and the Cadillac in the garage, Dad? And your investors, can't they help you? What about all of your retirement money, have you spent all of that, too?"

"Oh no, son, we're just talking about the checking account. Income from the farms and other investments go straight into the retirement account, so don't you worry. The whole family shall be well taken care of in our old age," Andy said. "But there isn't enough in the checking account to cover our escalating debts to the farmers, not unless Lord PUC lets us charge a lot more for the juice, and I mean mega more."

Wally then remembered his trip to Arizona and back, and the extra time off that he had recently, and asked his dad to explain what was going on. "Well, do you remember how Lord PUC used to make sure we didn't charge anybody too much for our crop?" Andy asked.

"Yes." "Well, people assumed that with lots of farmers competing with each other, that would naturally lower prices. But they forgot about how much people need electricity, and about how they'll pay whatever they have to get it. Well, the farmers know this as sure as the sun rises, that if they just hold onto the crop until people are good and hungry, they can charge whatever they want," Andy said. "And these farmers don't have to obey the old rules."

"Well, why doesn't The Gray One just order the farmers to sell at reasonable prices?" asked a wide-eyed Wally. A sad kind of look came over the faces of Andy and Peegee. They used to be so close to The Gray One,who would always answer their calls on the first ring. But these days, when Andy calls him, the phone just rings and rings.

Finally, Andy said, "I guess he's not all-powerful after all." Wally wasn't satisfied with his dad's answer, but he knew there wasn't much more he could say. So Wally returned to his job, but vowed to visit his parents, who got sicker and sicker and sicker.

Jan. 17, 2001 -- During the next visit, Wally saw his parents jump as the phone rang. They looked worried. After a few rings, Andy cautiously picked up the receiver and said hello. Wally could hear the shouting on the other end of the line, "Pay up now or we will cut you off!" echoed a voice that Wally thought sounded like Mr. Reliant, one of the new electricity farmers.

Suddenly, Andy dropped the phone, and both Peegee and Andy started staggering around the room, moaning and groaning. While clutching their chest with a hand, they cried out in unison, "It's all over! We are finished!"

The scene continued for several more minutes, as a stunned Wally watched Peegee and Andy flail about the room, staggering to and fro. Even though the scene seemed surreal, Wally was genuinely worried about his parents and so he called 9-1-1.

Ten minutes later, just as the paramedics burst in through the front door, Peegee and Andy did one final sweep of their arms, pleaded with Wally to take care of his brothers and sisters, and collapsed. Wally jumped in the back of the ambulance and held on tight as it sped down unlit streets through dark neighborhoods that were victims of the dreaded "rolling blackouts." When he saw lights in the distance, he knew they were close to the hospital.

Later that night, while seated by the hospital beds where his parents were on life support systems, Wally's vigil was interrupted by a nurse who said that he had a call. He picked up the phone and heard the exalted voice of The Gray One. So now he calls, Wally thought, after all this.

"Wally, I was so terribly sorry to hear about Peegee and Andy," The Gray One said. "I never thought this problem I inherited would come to this. I had the misfortune of believing Our Great Emperor in Washington would resolve this crisis, but he refused to get involved in inter-kingdom affairs. But don't,worry, I've got good news."

"What is it, sir?"

"We're going to deal with the farmers on your behalf. Me, the Lord PUC, all of us here in the capital. We are going to buy and help deliver the juice for you. What do you say to that?"

"Um, uh, that, er, uh, sounds just great, sir." After a long pause, Wally asked if he could ask a question. The Gray One replied, "Please, feel free." Wally asked him about what could be done about his mom and dad's mountain of debt. The Gray One said nothing but goodbye.

Wally was as confused as ever. He wondered what price the Gray One would pay for the crop and how long he would continue to buy the juice. What would happen to the experimental market that Wally adjusted to, and who would deliver the juice? Wally also worried about having a new boss.

Wally's head started spinning but stopped when he heard his parents troubled breathing. He wasn't sure if Peegee and Andy could hear him, but decided to tell them The Gray One had called to say everything was going to work out.

First Peegee and then Andy stirred in their beds and then they muttered something. Wally listened closer and heard his dad ask in a weak voice, "Will Joe Ratepayer and Bob Small Business bail us out again?"

Wally wasn't sure how to respond, as he didn't want to disturb his parents but also because he didn't know the answer to that question. He was just so unsure of so much these days but one thing he did know was that saddling Joe and Bob with his parent's huge debt would alleviate his parents sufferings and have the greedy farmers laughing all the way to the bank. But it was terribly unfair. He feared it could even lead to a rebellion.

Wally kissed his parents and told them to sleep. He tiptoed out of the room and into the blackened street. As he headed home, Wally started feeling sure his parents would recover and that the lights in the kingdom would come back on soon. At least he had hope.

©2001 Independent Media Institute. All rights reserved. Fair use for educational purposes only!

-- Swissrose (cellier@azstarnet.com), February 10, 2001