This is so funny! Well maybe NOT! LOL! : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread

> Mid-life is when the growth of the hair on our > legs slows down. This gives us plenty of > time to care for our newly acquired > mustache. > > Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, > we have wingspans, we are no longer > women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying > squirrels in drag. > > Mid-life has hit when you stand naked in front > of the mirror and can see your rear end > without turning around. > > Mid-life is when you bounce (a lot), but you > don't bounce back. It's more like splat! > > Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm > young lovely in a tube top and scream, > "Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire > fell, and those things will too"! > > Mid-life is when you realize that if you were a > dog, you would need a control top flea collar. > > Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you > realize you are now so old, you have to pay > someone to look at you naked. > > You know you are getting old when you go > for a mammogram and you realize it is the > only time someone will ask you to appear > topless in a film. > > Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws > you curves and that you're now sitting on > your biggest ones. > > Mid-life can bring out your angry, bitter side. > You look at your latte-swilling, beeper- > wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For > this I have stretch marks?" > > Mid-life is when your memory really starts to > go: the only thing you still retain is water. > > The good news about mid-life is that the > glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad > news is that it won't be long before your > teeth are floating in it. > > You know you've crossed the mid-life > threshold when you're in the grocery store > and you hear a Muzak version of "Stairway > to Heaven" in the produce department. > > Mid-life is when your 1970s Body-by-Jake > now includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more > red and blue lines than an accurately scaled > map of the state of Missouri). > > Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself > and your chins follow suit. > > You become more reflective in mid-life. You > start pondering the "big" questions: What is > life, why am I here and how much Healthy > Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no > longer a healthy choice?

-- Bonnie (, January 18, 2001


Oh, yes.

-- melina b. (, January 18, 2001.


-- Judi (, January 18, 2001.

I about laughed my crows-feet off! Thanks for the funny!!

-- Nan (, January 18, 2001.

Who's been peeking! That is a fantastic piece of truth.

-- Cordy (, January 18, 2001.

I forgot what I was going to say!

-- sharon wt (, January 18, 2001.

I printed it out for Lynn. She gave me a cold stare, then smiled and told me to get offline so she can call her mother. Later, signing off :>)

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (, January 18, 2001.

So true!!! So true!!!

-- Debbie T in N.C. (, January 18, 2001.

Don't know if I ought to laugh or cry!!

-- (, January 18, 2001.


-- Soni (, January 18, 2001.

I gotta get a printer! That was hysterical!

-- Cathy in NY (, January 18, 2001.

I feel so "at home"!

-- Ardie from WI (, January 18, 2001.

Perfect! I am howling! But just think, in compensation, you can cop an attitude, and nobody is going to challenge you on it!!! Thanks for the wonderful laughs.

-- sheepish (WA) (, January 18, 2001.

Loved it Bonnie! You're right Sheepish, now we got something we can blame things for...yea! Was getting tired of always using PMS as an excuse.

-- Annie (, January 18, 2001.

Thanks for the chuckles, Bonnie! Have to print this out and send it to my sister in laws! Jan

-- Jan in CO (, January 19, 2001.

LOL bonnie some old man might still think your a cute young thing. :)

-- george darby (, January 19, 2001.

Us young guys still think you are all beautiful! GL!

-- Brad (, January 22, 2001.

Ok girls! All together now......BLUSH!!!

-- Nan (, January 24, 2001.

This was really funny and even though I have not posted here before I have checked out this sight daily for the fantastic information and the laughs that are included. This is one I just had to say Thank You to to the person who posted it as I really needed a good laugh for today. Thanks Again. Normaj3

-- norma jenn (, January 24, 2001.

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