This is so funny! Well maybe NOT! LOL!greenspun.com : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread
> Mid-life is when the growth of the hair on our > legs slows down. This gives us plenty of > time to care for our newly acquired > mustache. > > Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, > we have wingspans, we are no longer > women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying > squirrels in drag. > > Mid-life has hit when you stand naked in front > of the mirror and can see your rear end > without turning around. > > Mid-life is when you bounce (a lot), but you > don't bounce back. It's more like splat! > > Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm > young lovely in a tube top and scream, > "Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire > fell, and those things will too"! > > Mid-life is when you realize that if you were a > dog, you would need a control top flea collar. > > Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you > realize you are now so old, you have to pay > someone to look at you naked. > > You know you are getting old when you go > for a mammogram and you realize it is the > only time someone will ask you to appear > topless in a film. > > Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws > you curves and that you're now sitting on > your biggest ones. > > Mid-life can bring out your angry, bitter side. > You look at your latte-swilling, beeper- > wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For > this I have stretch marks?" > > Mid-life is when your memory really starts to > go: the only thing you still retain is water. > > The good news about mid-life is that the > glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad > news is that it won't be long before your > teeth are floating in it. > > You know you've crossed the mid-life > threshold when you're in the grocery store > and you hear a Muzak version of "Stairway > to Heaven" in the produce department. > > Mid-life is when your 1970s Body-by-Jake > now includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more > red and blue lines than an accurately scaled > map of the state of Missouri). > > Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself > and your chins follow suit. > > You become more reflective in mid-life. You > start pondering the "big" questions: What is > life, why am I here and how much Healthy > Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no > longer a healthy choice?
-- Bonnie (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 18, 2001
-- melina b. (email@example.com), January 18, 2001.
-- Judi (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 18, 2001.
I about laughed my crows-feet off! Thanks for the funny!!
-- Nan (email@example.com), January 18, 2001.
Who's been peeking! That is a fantastic piece of truth.
-- Cordy (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 18, 2001.
I forgot what I was going to say!
-- sharon wt (email@example.com), January 18, 2001.
I printed it out for Lynn. She gave me a cold stare, then smiled and told me to get offline so she can call her mother. Later, signing off :>)
-- Jay Blair in N. AL (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 18, 2001.
So true!!! So true!!!
-- Debbie T in N.C. (email@example.com), January 18, 2001.
Don't know if I ought to laugh or cry!!
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 18, 2001.
-- Soni (email@example.com), January 18, 2001.
I gotta get a printer! That was hysterical!
-- Cathy in NY (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 18, 2001.
I feel so "at home"!
-- Ardie from WI (email@example.com), January 18, 2001.
Perfect! I am howling! But just think, in compensation, you can cop an attitude, and nobody is going to challenge you on it!!! Thanks for the wonderful laughs.
-- sheepish (WA) (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 18, 2001.
Loved it Bonnie! You're right Sheepish, now we got something we can blame things for...yea! Was getting tired of always using PMS as an excuse.
-- Annie (email@example.com), January 18, 2001.
Thanks for the chuckles, Bonnie! Have to print this out and send it to my sister in laws! Jan
-- Jan in CO (Janice12@aol.com), January 19, 2001.
LOL bonnie some old man might still think your a cute young thing. :)
-- george darby (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 19, 2001.
Us young guys still think you are all beautiful! GL!
-- Brad (homefixer@SacoRiver.net), January 22, 2001.
Ok girls! All together now......BLUSH!!!
-- Nan (email@example.com), January 24, 2001.
This was really funny and even though I have not posted here before I have checked out this sight daily for the fantastic information and the laughs that are included. This is one I just had to say Thank You to to the person who posted it as I really needed a good laugh for today. Thanks Again. Normaj3
-- norma jenn (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 24, 2001.