What's your favorite limerick? (SILLY FUN)

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread

With all the memories this forum has brought back to me, i began to think. What is your favorite limerick? My Granny liked :

There once was a gal from Montana, Who did not see the banana, She skidded 10 feet, The sidewalk did meet, And now she can't play the piana!

I think this one is great also:

There was a farmer from Leeds, Who ate six packets of seeds, It soon came to pass, He was covered with grass, And he couldn't sit down for the weeds!

I think it will be fun to see what everyone comes up with.

-- Shau Marie (shau@centurytel.net), January 15, 2001


Not sure if this is a limerick,I had to learn this in second grade and still remember it. The nuns were tough back then.

One bright day in the middle of the night

Two dead boys got up to fight

Back to back they faced each other

Drew their swords and shot each other

If you do not believe this lie is true

Ask the blind man he saw it too.

Kinda sick for a 7 yr.old to learn at a catholic school but that was it. I think it was called the backwards poem.

-- renee oneill{md.} (oneillsr@home.com), January 15, 2001.

An epicure dinning at Crew, discovered a mouse in his stew. Said the waiter don't shout, Or wave it about! Or the rest will be wanting one too!

There once was a man from Blackheath who sat on his pair of false teeth. And he said with a start oh, dear! Bless my heart! For I've bitten myself underneath.

There was a young man on a bet Who went to buy the best milk goat yet So he went to a sale Bought a white one, looked swell, But that billy ain't gave it up yet!

-- Marty (Mrs.Puck@Excite.com), January 15, 2001.

There was a young lady from Perkins, who simply loved to eat gerkins. In spite of advise, she ate so much spice, she pickled her internal workins!

-- Julie (julieamc@excite.com), January 15, 2001.

the only one I know,, there once was a man from nantuckit,,,,,,

-- Stan (sopal@net-port.com), January 15, 2001.

Does Ogden Nash count?

-- Julie Froelich (firefly1@nnex.net), January 15, 2001.

Sure why not!! The more the better.

-- Shau Marie (shau@centurytel.net), January 15, 2001.

Okay then. It may not be a limerick quite --

The panther is like a leopard, except it hasn't been peppered If behold a panther crouch, prepare to say 'ouch' better yet -- If called by a panther, don't anther.

-- Julie Froelich (firefly1@nnex.net), January 16, 2001.

Dang it, you know, I had that one all set up correctly, and this thing mashed it all together again!!

-- Julie Froelich (firefly1@nnex.net), January 16, 2001.

renee..boy i didn't think anyone else even knew that one.

but when we said it after they shot each other a deaf policeman

heard the noise and came to arrest the 2 dead boys.

..thanks fer the memories

-- (abcbirds@yahoo.com), January 16, 2001.

Came across this in a book once and the full song had my in tears, too bad I dont remember anything other than the first verse.

(sang to "Thats Amore")

When swimming in the seas
..And a fishy bites you knees
...Thats a moray

Anybody else ever see this one and remember more of it?


-- Dave (Ak) (daveh@ecosse.net), January 16, 2001.

This is one of the few I know by heart:

There was a young woman from Wight whose speed was much faster than light. She set out one day in a relative way, and returned on the previous night.

Actually, my truly favorite one begins "Whenever Miss Lowbodice swoons....", but I'm afraid to submit it here. Darn!

-- Leslie A. (lesliea@home.com), January 16, 2001.

I'm not sure this is a limerick, we call them diddy's.

Have you ever seen the devil, come a walking down the level, in his arms a pick and shovel, sitting at the table, with a wire around his navel, digging up dirt with his old toenails! this is sang, can't name the tune.

Here's another one for children, you touch their eyes' nose, mouth, then chin and tickle them on their chin.

:eyepeapy, nosedroppy, mouthicky, chinchopper, getem, getem, getem

There's more from my husbands father but I can't remember them all.

-- Carol in Tx (cwaldrop@peoplescom.net), January 16, 2001.

Mildly R rated

On the chest of a barmiss in Wales

Was printed the price of her ales

And on her behind,

For the sake of the blind,

The same was done up, but in Braille!

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), January 16, 2001.

There once was a lady from 'Frisco Who washed her face always in Crisco The make-up she used Was of flour and booze And now she is made by Nabisco!

-- snoozy (allen@oz.net), January 16, 2001.

Ok, here's another one dredged up from my memory -a great Australian one used in some famous film that I'm afraid I can't dredge up. It isn't exactly G-rated, but it isn't sexual in any way, so here goes:

A woman from down in Australia painted her bum like a dahlia. The color was nice and the drawing precise. But the fragrance... AAAGGGHHHH!!!...THAT was a failya!!

Very sorry... couldn't help it!

-- Leslie A. (lesliea@home.com), January 16, 2001.

Carol, my mama used to do that to me all the time. I still do it to Steve! Fordbumper (forehead), eyewinker, nosedropper, liplopper, moutheater, chinchopper.........tickle, tickle, tickle under the chin. I have never know anyone who KNEW that!

She used to sing...Mares eat oats and does eat oats but little lambs eat ivy, a kid'll eat ivy too wouldn't you. Now if the word sounds quear and funny to your ear, just a little bit jumble and jivey, just say...Mares eat oats...and does eat oats...and little lambs eat ivy.

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@msn.com), January 17, 2001.

One day the mighty thunder god

went riding on his filly.

"I'm Thor", he cried.

The horse replied,

"You forgot your thaddle, thilly!"

-- R. (thor610@yahoo.com), January 17, 2001.

My son came home from school with the two dead boys, this year. Some things never get old. And I remember my teacher telling the Thor one in high school. Thanks for the smiles

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), January 17, 2001.

Renee - I, too remember the 2 dead soldiers! But my favorite (those who don't like political things stop reading right now!) is as follows: There once was a man named Slick Willie, who thought that his d*** was a dilly. But he made quite a mess, when he came on the dress, of his naive disposable filly! And PRAISE THE LORD - he's GONE! GL to all political persuasions!

-- Brad (homefixer@SacoRiver.net), January 21, 2001.

Cindy, I thought everyone grew up with that, but you know, I never have asked anyone before. Funny! My mom used to say it like this....Fordknocker, eye peeper, nose smeller, mouth eater, chin chopper, tickle tickle tickle. I do this with my daughter all the time. We also use to sing that song too, Does eat oats.....it's real funny when you try to sing it REAL fast. When I was a kid, we sang it fast and all the words ran together, so I didn't know what we were really saying for the longest time! Thanks, forgot all about that song!

-- Annie (mistletoe@earthlink.net), January 21, 2001.

O.K. this isn't a limeric but a tounge twister.. Try saying Red Leather, Yellow Leather.. over and over real fast. Should we have a thread for tounge twisters too?

Here is

-- Tina (clia88@newmexico.com), January 21, 2001.

One more I remembered:

This is the rooster........forehead

This is the pullet..........nose

This is the hen...........chin

Now what did I say this was? Nose. PUll IT!

-- Cindy in Ky (solidrockranch@msn.com), January 22, 2001.

I know you have all been waiting for this one:-

"There was a young mom from Nantucket She milked her cow in a bucket Her spoiled young brat Cried 'I'm not drinking that' And started to spew and upchuckit"

-- John Hill (john@cnd.co.nz), January 23, 2001.

Here is the full version (to the extent that I have found it) of the poem contributed by oneillsr@home.com, it's not a limerick, but oh well.

Backwards Poem

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is Good Friday,) There will be a convention held in the Women's Club, which is strictly for Men. Admission is free, so pay at the door, Pull up a chair, and sit on the floor. It was a summer's day in winter, And the snow was raining fast, As a barefoot boy with shoes on, Stood sitting in the grass. Oh, that bright day in the dead of night, Two dead men got up to fight. One was blind, but the other couldn't see, So they hired a dummy to referee. Back to back, they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot one another. A deaf policeman heard this noise, Then came and killed those two dead boys, So, if you think this lie isn't true, Ask the blind man, he saw it too, Through a knothole in the barbed wire fence.

-- Pb Me (natjen252@hotmail.com), March 14, 2001.

A lovely unclean one... ish.

There once was a lady from Bude, Who went for a swim in the nude. A man in a punt, Stuck his pole in the water, And said, "Oi, you can't swim here. It's private property"

-- Fred Simpson (ca2gimps@yahoo.com), December 03, 2001.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ