my grandpa' s favorite joke, lol : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread

a couple had been married for 50 years.(can you imagine)They was sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,"just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "i know,said the old man. "we was probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "well, grany snickered,"let's relive some old times. Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "you know honey, the old lady said breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were for you fifty years ago." "i would,t be surprised, replied gramps. "one's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal." LOL how come i can't get this to make paragraphs, am i doing something wrong? hope you liked my granddad's joke.

-- Genie (, January 06, 2001


Yup, like went from 38D to 32EL (Extra Long).

-- JLS in NW AZ (, January 06, 2001.

When my Aunt Theresa and Uncle Andrew had been married about as long, they lived in a cottage, with no air conditioning, on Lake Michigan during the summer (Dorr? County to you in WI). Aunt T. would just wear a smock and normally Uncle A. went bare chested. However, Aunt T. had a rule, put on a t-shirt to eat. One day Uncle A. come to the table bare chested. Aunt T. told him to go put on a shirt. Uncle A. complained, "But momma, it is so hot." Aunt T. said, "OK, if you can do it, I can also" and took off her smock. Uncle A. went to get a shirt.

-- Ken S. in WC TN (, January 06, 2001.

Great Joke Genie. Can't say I heard that one before.As far as paragraphs, try hitting your enter key twice.

-- hillbilly (, January 06, 2001.

When I was little Papa used to tell this joke. Do you know how to catch a polar bear? Well first you dig a hole in the ice and then you put some peas around it and when the polar bear comes up to take a pee you kick him in the icehole.

If it doesn't sound funny say it out loud. When I was little I thought it was hilarious :o)

-- Amanda in Mo (, January 06, 2001.

Good jokes, guys. Am going to give them to my in-laws who are in their 80's. They'll get a kick out of them. Here's another one...

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonalds'. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.

Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married for 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she relpied, "Not yet. It's his turn with the teeth."

-- Annie (, January 06, 2001.

It's all a matter of perspective:

At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants. At age 12, success is...having friends. At age 16, success is...having a drivers license. At age 20, sucdess is...having sex. At age 35, success is... having money. At age 50, success is... having money. At age 60, success is ...having sex. At age 70, success is...having a drivers license. At age 75, success is...having friends. At age 80, success is...not peeing in your pants.

-- Ken S. in WC TN (, January 06, 2001.

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