Career advice, please

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Okay, family, now for a tough one (never enough of those around here LOL). Okay, so here's the puzzle. I used to have a career in the entertainment industry that I really enjoyed. Spent 11 years at it. It is very demanding, physically and otherwise. The last few years have seen me increasingly dissatisfied with my career for two main reasons:

1. The clientele's preferences have slowly shifted to styles of entertainment that are not in line with my own skills and performance preferences, setting up a disharmonic resonance wherein I feel underappreciated for any effort I put out, and if I "sell out" I feel, well, like I sold out. Creatively undernourished.

2. Management is not generally friendly any longer to the concept of being creative, of going out of their way to provide an entertaining and dynamically fun environment for either customers or entertainers, simply focusing on making the next dollar (pretty much assured with or without effort). Although they do not actively discourage entertainers from taking creative initiative, they do not help, support, or even seem interested one way or the other. And since we entertainers make most of our income from tips, any time spent being "overly" creative is time lost for making money.

There is also the reality that I am getting older than your average trained monkey and my body does not bounce back from shows like it used to, especially high heels (de rigeur, I'm afraid). Ooooohhh, my aching back!

Now, I am sure that this is not the case everywhere, but to find a working environment that would be congenial to my tastes, I would probably have to move to a BIG city like LA or NY or Atlanta (yuck).

I recently signed on for a year with Americorp, mainly to have some breathing room for thought about this issue. Here are the conclusions that I have come to so far:

1. I still love the performance part. I had to go back during the holiday "vacation" to make up some income lost when my hubby got downsized. I still feel emotionally depleted by the lukewarm customer response (more and more prevalent in this MTV/HBO world - anything not sparkly new is boring). Still get a huge rush being onstage, like I'm on fire, especially when I'm "clicking" or "in the zone". Big ol' s**t eating grin on my face that really only appears onstage. Ah, there ain't no business like show business!

2. Still definitely a feeling of working way to hard for the response (financially and otherwise) that I'm getting, but when I'm onstage, I can't "coast" without feeling crappy about my performance. Depressed by the slow business (wrong season) and the lack of tips (season and clientele).

3. I could (theoretically, anyway) "cut the strings" of "house work" and go on the road, but with many pets and a garden, would be limited to fairly local bookings (ie, not much) and mostly winter dates. Plus, when I move back to MO, not much in my field in that area, booking-wise. I could also just enter competions, one or two day events that with some luck I could even win prizes at and maybe make a limited, but steady amount of money. Upside - serious creative freedom is required to win, and appreciated. Downside - some (mainly smaller, local events) are rigged, and they can be hard to track down without an agent (bye bye at least 10%). Plus, winning sometimes includes contracts that might involve travel and so on. Hard to "aim low" reliably to winn monetary prizes without winning the "big one".

Okay, so now it is your turn. In your ever so wise opinions (ah, the voice of experience - I'm listening) do you think I should:

A: Follow my fun, depite an aging body, diminishing audience appreciation, and logistical difficulties.

B: Whack away at it part-time and hope I get fed up with it before I fall off of the stage or throttle someone.

C: Give it up and get over it.

D: None of the above (fill in the blank)____________________.

Please give me a little outside advice to help me make my decision. I find it hard to reconcile a show biz-y life with homesteading, but also have a hard time seeing myself (at this stage anyway) giving it up completely (although ask me halfway through the night and you may well get another answer, especially if it's been way bad). I appreciate any help you may give.

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), January 03, 2001

Answers

Soni, this is a most interesting post. My brother is a musician, and my neighbors are part-time actors and dancers, so I know perhaps a tiny bit of what you are dealing with. However, I am wayyyyy out of my league here. Nevertheless, I am going to reply.

Is there any possibility that you could work more locally in some kind of guiding fashion (i.e.: write/direct plays or something similar?) We so enjoy our local theater productions and it takes an enormous amount of effort on the part of very dedicated folks to do them. They are so appreciated! Or else, can you "sort of" take a production on the road? (like within a 500 mile radius) and have folks pitch in for you while you are gone?

How comfortable is it to adopt less concern about winning and just more about "doing" ? As someone who is getting a little older (48) and having had to get over the youth/beauty thing (still working on it) I think I can relate to that part.

I dunno. I hope you get some good answers. You are so appreciated on this forum! I think you could write a comedy and have 'em falling on the floor laughing in the aisles, based on some of your previous posts!

-- sheepish (WA) (rborgo@gte.net), January 03, 2001.


Wow! That's a tall order. The answer really depends on your personality and adaptiveness towards change. My body has gotten older too and I am getting unable to do many things with the frequency I did them before. Some things I just can't really do at all. I suspect my thoughts here are as much projection towards myself as to your particular situation.

Not faking it though, some of the best decisions of my life were more or less forced (or nuts in logical retrospect) yet very revolutionary for my future experiences.

One thing I consistently notice that most people get stuck in the rut of their current likes and abilities and sell themselves short. I pesonally recommend going to live overseas - third world perferably. As an expatriot with particular skills you can be tremendously appreciated by the locals. You can live high on the hog and be well up in the social respect ladder. Go where the tourists haven't arrived. There are so many different ways to live that are as good as and often better than the lifestyle we have (most of us) in this country. So many great things that we slave and pay for here are free and taken for granted in other countries (but the reverse is true also).

My mother has a performance type personality. When she is "on" she shines. The same inclination, talent, and creativity can come through in professions other than the "entertainment industry". Entertaining people are well liked everywhere. Most social go-getters I've known were by nature entertainers. People people who loved winning over a party or a crowd and being the momentary center of attention. If you're that way it will come through.

Best of Luck

-- charles (clb@watervalley.net), January 03, 2001.


I was a musican for 14 years. I loved it, quit cold turkey to stay home with pregnate wife almost 10 years ago. (I was on the road and was going to be 12 hours away from home on her due date) There are days when I miss it. There are days when I climb in bed at ten at night and think to myself "I would just be going on stage to work for five hours" then I roll over and hug my wife. Sorry we can not answer this for you Grant

-- grant (organicgrange@yahoo.com), January 03, 2001.

I love Charles' response!

What fills you with joy, is the thing you were born to do;is your job here on earth; is the voice of god(des)......follow it......

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), January 03, 2001.


I was a musician for 10 years...don't think you take that aspect completely out of yourself if/when you stop doing it for pay. I'm still working on figuring that out. It pretty much just ends up being what makes you feel more complete or more cohesive; we all have some contradictions in our lives that keep us interested or make us interesting, depending on the prevailing sentiment of the moment...and who it is that's making that determination.

One thing that I learned is that you have to do what you love, so long as it isn't injurious to you....also, for me, art can only exist in purity when money isn't the objective.

I guess only you can decide, Soni. If you love it and it feeds your spirit, then do it despite management or monetary concerns. You're tremendously colorful and descriptive and I would think whatever you decided to do you would be a great success at it. Best of luck to you.... have you got your towel?

-- Doreen (animalwaitress@excite.com), January 04, 2001.



How about Branson MO?

-- Margie B (Bromens5@navix.net), January 04, 2001.

You have to do what your heart tells you. Maybe you could preform part time and teach classes in what you do part time? I know there are alot of dance and drama kids out there who would love to learn stage presence from some one in the know.

-- kathy h (ckhart55@earthlink.net), January 04, 2001.

I agree with the above reply. Consider teaching. Maybe at a community college in your area. Teach theater or something related.

But a related matter. I knew a guy that played in a rock and roll band from the time he was in high school until he was about 50 years old. Then he went back to school and became, get this, a lawyer. That just shows me that you can do anything you want to.

Myself, I spent 21 years as a photojournalist then because my old body couldn't keep up as well as it once did, I changed careers and became a "digital imaging specialist". Sort of a computer artist using photographs and "special effects" for a national magazine. What I'm saying is you might be able to find something remotely related to what you've been doing that you could get into. Just look around and think about it. Get away alone for a few days and just think. That works for me.

Good luck.

-- Joe (jcole@apha.com), January 04, 2001.


Wow Soni- What a tough dilemma. And, similar to my own. I too have worked in the entertainment biz, for 20 years, and can't decide whether to quit so I can spend more time at home on the farm, or keep it up awhile longer. I am a technician, not a performer and I think in a lot of ways it's easier for us- I have TOO MUCH work, and the pay is great, but I have to travel as all work is away from home. I'm single, so this severely limits my ability to do farm things- I can't even keep pets, and I'd love to have a dog. I did just have 7 weeks off and got some chickens, which I am now paying a neighbor's kid to care for while I am away for 3 weeks working. Not a very cost-effective way to get fresh eggs, but I can afford to do it, and it's a quality of life issue- I want to be able to enjoy having chickens when I am home. About that road thing-When I am home for awhile I never want to leave, but I work mostly with friends and when they call it's really hard to say no. Plus, you know how much FUN gigging can be. I guess you just have to try and decide what is MOST important to you. In my case I have decided to work for another year or so, till my mortgage is paid off, then really settle down at home and enjoy my garden, my beekeeping (the only "pets" I have now), and maybe get that dog. I just turned 40 and figure that if I really want to enjoy my farm and country living, I need to start spending more time there while I am young enough and healthy enough to engage in outdoor activities. And you're right about the business- when I started, the music business was all about music- these days it's mostly about business. I worked for the Judds last summer, and most of the guys on my crew were much younger, less experienced (read, CHEAPER), than I am, and I picked up a lot of slack for them. But, nobody cares 'cause the bottom line is $$$. It's changed a lot since I started out. Another consideration for me is my health- as you know, it's hard to eat well, sleep, etc. on the road, especially as I get older. So, no real answer from me, just some commiseration and moral support. Good luck, and whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you.

-- Elizabeth King (ekfla@aol.com), January 05, 2001.

Didn't read much of the above, but here's my advice, taken from a quote from a very intelligent individual. "If you do what you enjoy, you will never have to work a day in your life". GL!

-- Brad (homefixer@SacoRiver.net), January 05, 2001.


Doreen - No "Hitchhiker" ever goes anywhere without their trusty towel! Thought about Branson, but will be far away from my place. maybe cruise ships are the way to go. Good way to get away from all of this winter yuckiness.

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), January 05, 2001.

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