By JEFF SKRUCK Sun Staff
BEDFORD -- Juanita Dickinson realizes her mother, a lifelong Democrat, may never forgive her for dressing up as a fat lady opera singer -- complete with Valkyrie garb -- and belting out song parodies on Vice President Al Gore's lawn on Wednesday.
But if it can make the country lighten up and recognize the folly of the presidential election that just won't end, then it was worth it, Dickinson says.
"We've been through so much in the last month that we can't see straight," said Dickinson, who sang on Gore's front yard in Washington, D.C. as part of a WRKO-AM publicity stunt. "I wanted America to laugh. I didn't want to be cruel. ... If we can't laugh at it we're pathetic."
Dickinson, a 40-year-old mother of five who writes children's stories and gives voice lessons, tried out Tuesday morning for the contest on the Boston radio station's talk show hosted by Peter Blute and Andy Moes.
Her husband, Michael, "came home from work and said they're soliciting overweight divas," she said.
At first she balked, but at the urging of her 13-year-old son Noah and their neighbor Karen Figueroa, 15, she gave it a shot.
Plus, she realized she was perfect for the part. "I'm a little bit nutty. I'm a risk-taker. I like the attention," she said.
Dickinson wrote a parody of an old Christian song, "Look How Far You've Come," sang it over the phone on the air Tuesday morning, and won the honor to perform the spoof of a lifetime: the obese female herald who let Gore know that it's all over.
"They kept saying they were not going to end the race until the fat lady sings -- well, the fat lady has sung," Dickinson said with a laugh.
Besides having golden pipes and the proper background -- she majored in theatrical music in college -- Dickinson fits the part, physically as well as politically.
"I'm a black Republican female. I'm Al Gore's worst nightmare," said Dickinson, who voted for George W. Bush.
And Dickinson knew that all 300 pounds of her would fill out the costume WRKO provided, including a Viking helmet, blond braids and a dangerous-looking breastplate.
"I loved the outfit. I studied opera. This is perfect for it," said Dickinson, who is comfortable with her body type.
"I joke around all the time that I'm a 300-pound black woman. I never want to be thin, I'd like to thinner. ... I'd like to be a svelte 200," she said with a laugh.
She's as proud of the stunt as she is of her figure.
"It was fun and it's not even cruel," said Dickinson, who was flown to D.C. for the day with her husband, carted around in a limousine, and treated to dinner in the nation's capital. "I had the chance to do something absolutely ludicrous. ... My kids loved it."
After learning she got the part, Dickinson and her friends Wendy Pizzi of Lexington and Lisa Rzewnicki got together Tuesday night to write two other parody songs that she sang for an hour in front of the veep's home.
To win the contest and the hearts of its judges, Blute and Moes, Dickinson rewrote the words of the spiritual "Look How Far You've Come," with her sights aimed at Gore. One of the lines in the original song is "Don't give up, don't give in." Dickinson changed it to "Just give up, just give in."
Dickinson, Pizzi and Rzewnicki also came up with a spoof on the Coca-Cola jingle, "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing." Their song: "I'd Like to Teach the World to Vote." Remember Herman's Hermits' song "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Daughter"? These ladies penned "Tipper Gore, You Have a Lovely Daughter."
For an hour she stood on the lawn and sang these songs, as well as a few others. A pack of reporters, photographers and cameramen, alerted to her presence, were there waiting for her arrival. And thanks to some plugs from Rush Limbaugh and other radio talk show hosts, the curious and interested drove by to take a peek, stop for a song or two or give their support, she said.
"We almost had three car accidents," she said.
"It was a lot of fun," said her husband. "It was just a lot of fun."
Though she's a Republican, Dickinson said she'd have done the same if Bush were in Gore's shoes.
"To be honest with you, I really did like Al Gore," said Dickinson.
But she just doesn't care for Gore's Energizer Bunny persona -- he keeps going and going and going ...
"I think Al Gore doesn't know how to lose. He's worked so hard his entire life for this," Dickinson said. "I don't think he knows how to bow out of this graciously."
-- Anonymous, December 09, 2000